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Is it Disrespectful to Avoid Pronouns for a Transgender Co-worker?

by Diply Social Team
1 year ago
in Family
Reading Time: 14 mins read
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Transitioning from one gender to another can be a challenging experience, both for the individual and for those around them. In a conservative industry, one person’s attempt to adapt to a co-worker’s transition has sparked a debate about whether avoiding gender-specific pronouns is disrespectful or a considerate way to avoid misgendering.

Meet Bob: A Brave Transition

Image credit: bad__engineer | bad__engineer
bad__engineer | bad__engineer

Apologies in Advance

Image credit: bad__engineer | bad__engineer
bad__engineer | bad__engineer

Struggling with Pronouns

Image credit: bad__engineer | bad__engineer
bad__engineer | bad__engineer

Bob’s Patience

Image credit: bad__engineer | bad__engineer
bad__engineer | bad__engineer

A Unisex Name Solution?

Image credit: bad__engineer | bad__engineer
bad__engineer | bad__engineer

Confidence and Privacy

Image credit: bad__engineer | bad__engineer
bad__engineer | bad__engineer

Janet’s Opinion

Image credit: bad__engineer | bad__engineer
bad__engineer | bad__engineer

Sharing the Struggle

Image credit: bad__engineer | bad__engineer
bad__engineer | bad__engineer

Disrespectful?

Image credit: bad__engineer | bad__engineer
bad__engineer | bad__engineer

Seeking Clarity

Image credit: bad__engineer | bad__engineer
bad__engineer | bad__engineer

Bob’s Absence ‍♂️

Image credit: bad__engineer | bad__engineer
bad__engineer | bad__engineer

The Verdict? ⚖️

Image credit: bad__engineer | bad__engineer
bad__engineer | bad__engineer

Edit: Thanks and Improvement

Image credit: bad__engineer | bad__engineer
bad__engineer | bad__engineer

Future Pronoun Plans

Image credit: bad__engineer | bad__engineer
bad__engineer | bad__engineer

Avoiding Pronouns: Disrespectful or Considerate?

Our protagonist struggles with using the correct pronouns for their recently-transitioned co-worker, Bob. In an effort to avoid misgendering, they decide to use Bob’s name instead of pronouns. When another colleague, Janet, claims this is disrespectful, our protagonist is left questioning their approach. With Bob unavailable for clarification, the question remains: is avoiding pronouns a thoughtful gesture or a dismissal of Bob’s journey?

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Trans person approves avoiding pronouns, Janet is a tiny AH.

Image credit: cyfermax | cyfermax
cyfermax | cyfermax

Using correct pronouns takes time, caring for them is important

Image credit: Datonecatladyukno | Datonecatladyukno
Datonecatladyukno | Datonecatladyukno

Practice using proper pronouns to avoid unintended disrespect.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Trans person explains importance of using correct pronouns at work. ✅

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Defending the use of Bob’s name, NTA comment shuts down critic.

Image credit: Adam_Bomb18 | Adam_Bomb18
Adam_Bomb18 | Adam_Bomb18

Making an effort to use correct pronouns is important. NAH.

Image credit: JackNotName | JackNotName
JackNotName | JackNotName

Respecting pronouns is important, but Janet is creating unnecessary drama.

Image credit: maxhooker | maxhooker
maxhooker | maxhooker

Supportive coworker adjusts to trans colleague’s pronouns, offers advice for OP.

Image credit: patchy_doll | patchy_doll
patchy_doll | patchy_doll

Using someone’s preferred name isn’t disrespectful. Just ask Bob!

Image credit: Guido_Jones | Guido_Jones
Guido_Jones | Guido_Jones

Struggling with pronouns for a transgender co-worker? Don’t worry, NAH.

Image credit: nnothmann | nnothmann
nnothmann | nnothmann

Respecting a transgender coworker by avoiding pronouns is NTA

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Using only first names may preserve privacy, but highlights differences. NAH.

Image credit: JudgeJudAITA | JudgeJudAITA
JudgeJudAITA | JudgeJudAITA

Trans man shares his perspective on using correct pronouns.

Image credit: bandsdestroyd | bandsdestroyd
bandsdestroyd | bandsdestroyd

Using a coworker’s name as a substitute for pronouns is acceptable

Image credit: amopeyzoolion | amopeyzoolion
amopeyzoolion | amopeyzoolion

Janet’s performative wokeness called out by commenter.

Image credit: waterbuffalo750 | waterbuffalo750
waterbuffalo750 | waterbuffalo750

Using correct pronouns is hard, but NTA for trying.

Image credit: RockClimber247 | RockClimber247
RockClimber247 | RockClimber247

Supportive co-worker adjusts language to respect transgender colleague’s transition.

Image credit: cambria90 | cambria90
cambria90 | cambria90

Effort to use correct pronouns appreciated by NAH commenter ❤️

Image credit: sbliss35 | sbliss35
sbliss35 | sbliss35

Learn to use their pronouns to avoid disrespecting them.

Image credit: GeorgiaSpellman | GeorgiaSpellman
GeorgiaSpellman | GeorgiaSpellman

Mistaken pronoun use is forgivable, Janet is the a**hole

Image credit: weirdpotato_3 | weirdpotato_3
weirdpotato_3 | weirdpotato_3

Respectful use of names > forced use of pronouns.

Image credit: theiLLmip | theiLLmip
theiLLmip | theiLLmip

Mistakes happen, NTA. Bob wouldn’t be hurt, don’t worry

Image credit: latsyrcami | latsyrcami
latsyrcami | latsyrcami

Trans man appreciates use of name instead of pronouns.

Image credit: chrysjarethj | chrysjarethj
chrysjarethj | chrysjarethj

Respectful approach to pronouns for transgender co-worker.

Image credit: BillyJoJive | BillyJoJive
BillyJoJive | BillyJoJive

Practice makes perfect when it comes to using correct pronouns

Image credit: Goldberry42 | Goldberry42
Goldberry42 | Goldberry42

Using someone’s name as a first step towards using pronouns.

Image credit: nocte_lupus | nocte_lupus
nocte_lupus | nocte_lupus

Don’t let busybodies police your speech. NTA

Image credit: leberkrieger | leberkrieger
leberkrieger | leberkrieger

Respecting names is enough; pronouns are confusing and complex. NTA.

Image credit: ChrisPBacon420Blaze | ChrisPBacon420Blaze
ChrisPBacon420Blaze | ChrisPBacon420Blaze

Using correct pronouns can be difficult, but effort is appreciated. NTA.

Image credit: technoboob | technoboob
technoboob | technoboob

A parent of a trans child shares support for using correct pronouns ❤️

Image credit: Dopefox1980 | Dopefox1980
Dopefox1980 | Dopefox1980

Using a trans person’s name is respectful, NTA for doing so

Image credit: TawnyFawn | TawnyFawn
TawnyFawn | TawnyFawn

Respectful use of name, Janet projecting discomfort. NTA.

Image credit: CocconutMonkey | CocconutMonkey
CocconutMonkey | CocconutMonkey

Using nongendered pronouns is a respectful solution for everyone involved.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Respectful intent matters, follow Bob’s lead on pronouns.

Image credit: NachoManSandyRavage | NachoManSandyRavage
NachoManSandyRavage | NachoManSandyRavage

Using correct pronouns is important, practice on your own

Image credit: Evergreen19 | Evergreen19
Evergreen19 | Evergreen19

Practice using correct pronouns for trans co-worker. Apologize if needed.

Image credit: emersynjc | emersynjc
emersynjc | emersynjc

Respecting someone’s pronouns is important, even if it takes time. NTA.

Image credit: EzBernardo | EzBernardo
EzBernardo | EzBernardo

Using preferred pronouns is appreciated but not necessary, NTA.

Image credit: gay_coffee_ | gay_coffee_
gay_coffee_ | gay_coffee_

Fighting against a non-issue, much like the offended white people

Image credit: goodwillhunting30 | goodwillhunting30
goodwillhunting30 | goodwillhunting30

Playing it safe with pronouns for trans co-worker – NTA

Image credit: skweekycleen | skweekycleen
skweekycleen | skweekycleen

Using chosen name isn’t disrespectful. Patience needed during transition period.

Image credit: numbersthen0987431 | numbersthen0987431
numbersthen0987431 | numbersthen0987431

Respecting someone’s identity is not a burden. NTA

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Avoiding pronouns for trans co-worker may not be helpful

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Support for using correct name and pronouns, with a fiery ending

Image credit: StableMolotov | StableMolotov
StableMolotov | StableMolotov

Avoiding pronouns is not disrespectful, but gossiping is a**hole-ish

Image credit: beldaran1224 | beldaran1224
beldaran1224 | beldaran1224

Respect Bob’s pronouns, ask for them if unsure.

Image credit: ElisaAnne | ElisaAnne
ElisaAnne | ElisaAnne

Using “they” as a transition is helpful for pronoun changes.

Image credit: Kepheo | Kepheo
Kepheo | Kepheo

Using chosen name is effective way to train for pronouns.

Image credit: PepperPilots | PepperPilots
PepperPilots | PepperPilots

Respectful intentions, ask Bob for preferred pronouns.

Image credit: DontTakeMyNoise | DontTakeMyNoise
DontTakeMyNoise | DontTakeMyNoise

Ask for their preference and use their name as a stopgap ‍♀️

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Using ‘they’ as a default isn’t disrespectful, NTA wins

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Respecting transgender identity: NTA for avoiding pronouns, speak to Bob.

Image credit: TheAloePlantTower | TheAloePlantTower
TheAloePlantTower | TheAloePlantTower

Respect trumps pronouns for trans co-worker. NTA ️‍

Image credit: ssj4majuub | ssj4majuub
ssj4majuub | ssj4majuub

Respecting pronouns is important, but intentions matter too. NAH.

Image credit: a1337sti | a1337sti
a1337sti | a1337sti

Emphatic agreement with NTA, no need to use pronouns.

Image credit: Diane_Mars | Diane_Mars
Diane_Mars | Diane_Mars

Respecting pronouns is important, but ultimately up to individual preference. NTA.

Image credit: HiImDavid | HiImDavid
HiImDavid | HiImDavid

Respect Bob’s pronouns even when he’s not around. NTA.

Image credit: DeliSoupItExplodes | DeliSoupItExplodes
DeliSoupItExplodes | DeliSoupItExplodes

Using ‘they’ instead of gendered pronouns for trans co-workers.

Image credit: Afoolsjourney | Afoolsjourney
Afoolsjourney | Afoolsjourney

It’s okay to struggle with pronouns, just work on it

Image credit: 525600bitches | 525600bitches
525600bitches | 525600bitches

Transitioning to gender-neutral language shows effort towards inclusivity

Image credit: nu_rekt | nu_rekt
nu_rekt | nu_rekt

Using someone’s name isn’t disrespectful. NTA for avoiding pronouns.

Image credit: ItsJustDeno | ItsJustDeno
ItsJustDeno | ItsJustDeno

Respectful approach to using correct pronouns for transgender co-worker.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Respecting pronouns is important, but Janet needs to back off.

Image credit: verminiusrex | verminiusrex
verminiusrex | verminiusrex

Using gender-neutral pronouns like ‘they’ can make communication easier.

Image credit: SomebodyToldMe113 | SomebodyToldMe113
SomebodyToldMe113 | SomebodyToldMe113

Respectful effort to use correct pronouns, with room for error

Image credit: EmpathicallyAnxious | EmpathicallyAnxious
EmpathicallyAnxious | EmpathicallyAnxious

Respectful use of gender-neutral pronouns appreciated by trans co-worker

Image credit: higginsnburke | higginsnburke
higginsnburke | higginsnburke

Practice makes perfect when it comes to using correct pronouns

Image credit: ZooktheCloak | ZooktheCloak
ZooktheCloak | ZooktheCloak

Trying to respect a transgender co-worker, but struggling with pronouns

Image credit: StealthMarmot | StealthMarmot
StealthMarmot | StealthMarmot

Retraining our language takes time, NAH for trying.

Image credit: KaijuAlert | KaijuAlert
KaijuAlert | KaijuAlert

NAH. Use correct pronouns, but calling by name is okay

Image credit: TheRoseSorcerer | TheRoseSorcerer
TheRoseSorcerer | TheRoseSorcerer

Respectful post about using correct pronouns for transgender co-worker.

Image credit: srtmadison | srtmadison
srtmadison | srtmadison

Trans commenter suggests using name instead of pronouns, NTA.

Image credit: okay_skylar | okay_skylar
okay_skylar | okay_skylar

Using a coworker’s name or neutral pronouns is respectful

Image credit: NaturalJustification | NaturalJustification
NaturalJustification | NaturalJustification

Respecting pronouns takes time, but NTA for trying.

Image credit: josiebadcat | josiebadcat
josiebadcat | josiebadcat

Using correct pronouns while avoiding harm to co-worker. NTA

Image credit: whatcolorizthat | whatcolorizthat
whatcolorizthat | whatcolorizthat

Respectful use of names over pronouns, NTA.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Respecting a transgender co-worker, NTA for avoiding pronouns.

Image credit: imeanokig | imeanokig
imeanokig | imeanokig

Respecting preferred name shows respect for transgender co-worker’s identity.

Image credit: one-of-the-daltons | one-of-the-daltons
one-of-the-daltons | one-of-the-daltons

Respecting preferred pronouns is key, NTA for making effort

Image credit: liquidjeans | liquidjeans
liquidjeans | liquidjeans
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