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Dying Husband’s Family Denied Last-Minute Visit: Heartless or Justified?

by Diply Social Team
2 years ago
in Family
Reading Time: 13 mins read
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Imagine your spouse is dying of cancer, and their family has been largely absent throughout the ordeal. Now, as the end nears, they suddenly want to visit. Would you let them? One woman faced this heart-wrenching dilemma when her husband, Larry, was given only weeks to live. Despite her pleas for his family to visit or call him throughout his illness, they barely made an effort. But now, as Larry’s condition worsens, they want to come over. The wife, however, is exhausted and emotionally drained. She refuses their last-minute request, sparking a heated debate.

Larry’s Grim Diagnosis

Image credit: striking-general-613 | striking-general-613
striking-general-613 | striking-general-613

Hospice Called In ⌛

Image credit: striking-general-613 | striking-general-613
striking-general-613 | striking-general-613

Family’s Lackluster Efforts

Image credit: striking-general-613 | striking-general-613
striking-general-613 | striking-general-613

Alice’s Broken Promises

Image credit: striking-general-613 | striking-general-613
striking-general-613 | striking-general-613

No Bad Blood, Just Laziness

Image credit: striking-general-613 | striking-general-613
striking-general-613 | striking-general-613

Larry’s Rapid Decline

Image credit: striking-general-613 | striking-general-613
striking-general-613 | striking-general-613

Doctor’s Warning ⚠️

Image credit: striking-general-613 | striking-general-613
striking-general-613 | striking-general-613

Family’s Disappointing Response

Image credit: striking-general-613 | striking-general-613
striking-general-613 | striking-general-613

Hospice at Home

Image credit: striking-general-613 | striking-general-613
striking-general-613 | striking-general-613

Wife’s Exhaustion

Image credit: striking-general-613 | striking-general-613
striking-general-613 | striking-general-613

Last-Minute Visit Denied ❌

Image credit: striking-general-613 | striking-general-613
striking-general-613 | striking-general-613

Family’s Anger

Image credit: striking-general-613 | striking-general-613
striking-general-613 | striking-general-613

Larry’s Wishes

Image credit: striking-general-613 | striking-general-613
striking-general-613 | striking-general-613

Heartfelt Goodbye

Image credit: striking-general-613 | striking-general-613
striking-general-613 | striking-general-613

Disappointment and Uncertainty

Image credit: striking-general-613 | striking-general-613
striking-general-613 | striking-general-613

Dying Wish or Wife’s Exhaustion: Who Wins?

Larry’s wife is at her wit’s end. She’s been caring for her dying husband, dealing with hospice care, and fielding calls from family and friends. She’s exhausted, emotionally drained, and her house is a mess. Larry’s family, who barely made an effort to visit or call during his illness, now wants to come over. But the wife refuses, saying they had months to visit and chose not to. The family is furious, but what about Larry’s wishes? He’s too weak to express them, but he did tell his wife to say goodbye to his family for him. As emotions run high, the question remains: should the wife let the family visit, or stand her ground?

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Compassionate replies to a simple but poignant question

Image credit: IFeelLikeBlueSky | IFeelLikeBlueSky
IFeelLikeBlueSky | IFeelLikeBlueSky

NTA. Caregiving is exhausting. Prioritize your health and boundaries. ❤

Image credit: Intelligent_Oil9293 | Intelligent_Oil9293
Intelligent_Oil9293 | Intelligent_Oil9293

NTA. Caretaking is difficult. Accepting help is important.

Image credit: Intelligent_Oil9293 | Intelligent_Oil9293
Intelligent_Oil9293 | Intelligent_Oil9293

Visiting a dying loved one can be a selfish act. ❤️

Image credit: GladysKravitz21 | GladysKravitz21
GladysKravitz21 | GladysKravitz21

Family ignored updates and requests to visit, NTA for denying.

Image credit: Dogmother123 | Dogmother123
Dogmother123 | Dogmother123

Suggests letting family visit but put them to work.

Image credit: MajorRockstar79 | MajorRockstar79
MajorRockstar79 | MajorRockstar79

Heartfelt question about the husband’s wishes goes unanswered.

Image credit: rapt2right | rapt2right
rapt2right | rapt2right

Supportive comment from someone who has been in a similar position

Image credit: NervousCelebration78 | NervousCelebration78
NervousCelebration78 | NervousCelebration78

Commenter suggests withholding judgement until more information is provided

Image credit: Dinosaur_Doctor | Dinosaur_Doctor
Dinosaur_Doctor | Dinosaur_Doctor

Don’t worry about being the villain, prioritize your needs.

Image credit: cassowary32 | cassowary32
cassowary32 | cassowary32

Advice from someone who’s been there: set boundaries, but accept help ❤️

Image credit: OneWithoutaName2 | OneWithoutaName2
OneWithoutaName2 | OneWithoutaName2

Heartless family neglects dying husband and caregiver, then demands guilt.

Image credit: moves_likemacca | moves_likemacca
moves_likemacca | moves_likemacca

Overwhelmed caregiver defends decision to deny family visit.

Image credit: Smooth-Valuable249 | Smooth-Valuable249
Smooth-Valuable249 | Smooth-Valuable249

Grief is complex and personal. Denial shouldn’t hinder goodbyes.

Image credit: Worried_Aerie_7512 | Worried_Aerie_7512
Worried_Aerie_7512 | Worried_Aerie_7512

Larry’s desires remain unclear, sparking speculation and curiosity.

Image credit: ProfPlumDidIt | ProfPlumDidIt
ProfPlumDidIt | ProfPlumDidIt

Heartless or justified? Let Larry see his family one last time

Image credit: Eunhye_ | Eunhye_
Eunhye_ | Eunhye_

Caregiver advises on self-care and respite care for dying husband.

Image credit: MaryAnne0601 | MaryAnne0601
MaryAnne0601 | MaryAnne0601

Compassionate comment offers support and asks important questions.

Image credit: CheerilyTerrified | CheerilyTerrified
CheerilyTerrified | CheerilyTerrified

Caretaker burnout is real. NTA for needing a break

Image credit: Substantial_Bench102 | Substantial_Bench102
Substantial_Bench102 | Substantial_Bench102

Compassionate response to caregiver’s difficult situation.

Image credit: whosyouregirl | whosyouregirl
whosyouregirl | whosyouregirl

Curious comment, but no replies to satisfy the question.

Image credit: Eunhye_ | Eunhye_
Eunhye_ | Eunhye_

NTA suggests allowing visitation and putting them to work.

Image credit: Asleep-Hold-4686 | Asleep-Hold-4686
Asleep-Hold-4686 | Asleep-Hold-4686

Exhausted caregiver struggles with family visit decision for dying husband.

Image credit: Ducky818 | Ducky818
Ducky818 | Ducky818

Supportive comment to dying spouse, family not needed.

Image credit: BasedinBaltimore | BasedinBaltimore
BasedinBaltimore | BasedinBaltimore

Compassionate reply offers support and predicts family’s behavior. ❤️

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Caring for a dying spouse is hard, prioritize your mental health ❤

Image credit: GeneNeat906 | GeneNeat906
GeneNeat906 | GeneNeat906

A compassionate suggestion for end-of-life care.

Image credit: terpischore761 | terpischore761
terpischore761 | terpischore761

Compassionate reply offers support and personal experience.

Image credit: bunnycook | bunnycook
bunnycook | bunnycook

NTA comment receives support, but questioned by a reply.

Image credit: Adorable_Accident440 | Adorable_Accident440
Adorable_Accident440 | Adorable_Accident440

Caregiver explains why last-minute visits are not always possible. NTA

Image credit: Apprehensive-Sun-358 | Apprehensive-Sun-358
Apprehensive-Sun-358 | Apprehensive-Sun-358

Empathetic comment suggests letting husband decide on last-minute visit.

Image credit: Murderhornet212 | Murderhornet212
Murderhornet212 | Murderhornet212

Heartfelt comment offers support to grieving spouse.

Image credit: PenniesandSense | PenniesandSense
PenniesandSense | PenniesandSense

OP’s uncertainty about dying husband’s wishes sparks concern

Image credit: LingonberryPrior6896 | LingonberryPrior6896
LingonberryPrior6896 | LingonberryPrior6896

Curious comment sparks no replies in emotional section.

Image credit: shannofordabiz | shannofordabiz
shannofordabiz | shannofordabiz

Family denied last-minute visit, commenter says NTA.

Image credit: AshlandSouth | AshlandSouth
AshlandSouth | AshlandSouth

Protecting personal space during a loved one’s death.

Image credit: amosc33 | amosc33
amosc33 | amosc33

Focus on your husband and let go of those who don’t care.

Image credit: beccabee333 | beccabee333
beccabee333 | beccabee333

Compassionate comment offers support and understanding during difficult time. ❤️

Image credit: dexterdarko2009 | dexterdarko2009
dexterdarko2009 | dexterdarko2009

Putting yourself first isn’t selfish. NTA

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Heartfelt comment on the importance of being with loved ones.

Image credit: walrusfacelady | walrusfacelady
walrusfacelady | walrusfacelady

Heartbreaking comment on family neglect with relatable reply.

Image credit: Nevyn-57 | Nevyn-57
Nevyn-57 | Nevyn-57

Compassionate response to denied visit.

Image credit: lapsteelguitar | lapsteelguitar
lapsteelguitar | lapsteelguitar

Compassion over reputation: allow visit before dying husband passes away. ❤

Image credit: Fickle_Map_3703 | Fickle_Map_3703
Fickle_Map_3703 | Fickle_Map_3703

Allowing family to visit dying loved one: YTA if you don’t

Image credit: Msmediator | Msmediator
Msmediator | Msmediator

Spouse’s dying wish denied: YTA for not allowing visit?

Image credit: Unlikely-Fun-371 | Unlikely-Fun-371
Unlikely-Fun-371 | Unlikely-Fun-371

Family denied last-minute visit to dying husband: Should they be allowed?

Image credit: KarenMaca | KarenMaca
KarenMaca | KarenMaca

Family’s lack of effort to visit dying husband justified.

Image credit: Linzy23 | Linzy23
Linzy23 | Linzy23

Self-care is important, even in difficult situations.

Image credit: AccomplishedAd9969 | AccomplishedAd9969
AccomplishedAd9969 | AccomplishedAd9969

Compassionate suggestion to avoid hurting dying husband’s feelings

Image credit: Over_Animal8484 | Over_Animal8484
Over_Animal8484 | Over_Animal8484

Spouse’s exhaustion causes conflict over dying husband’s visitation. ‍♀️

Image credit: ShalnarkRyuseih | ShalnarkRyuseih
ShalnarkRyuseih | ShalnarkRyuseih

Caregiving is mentally trying, OP has the right to set boundaries.

Image credit: AmsterdamJimmy420 | AmsterdamJimmy420
AmsterdamJimmy420 | AmsterdamJimmy420

Regretful commenter shares personal story, supports NTA’s decision.

Image credit: Accomplished_Cup900 | Accomplished_Cup900
Accomplished_Cup900 | Accomplished_Cup900

Listen to the person dying, not the visitors

Image credit: IrishCaz | IrishCaz
IrishCaz | IrishCaz

Reddit users question the credibility of the OP’s posts.

Image credit: bubbyshawl | bubbyshawl
bubbyshawl | bubbyshawl

NTA for denying last-minute visit. Support for caretaker role. ❤

Image credit: cyraquil | cyraquil
cyraquil | cyraquil

Caring for a dying loved one is hard. NTA for setting boundaries.

Image credit: dasbarr | dasbarr
dasbarr | dasbarr

Larry’s wishes matter most in this situation.

Image credit: The_Bookish_One | The_Bookish_One
The_Bookish_One | The_Bookish_One

Regret what? This comment needs more context.

Image credit: mugofanxitea | mugofanxitea
mugofanxitea | mugofanxitea

YTA comment urges action in dying husband’s family visit.

Image credit: verdebot | verdebot
verdebot | verdebot

Spouse’s family bans dying husband’s family from visit. ESH.

Image credit: winepastacheesecake | winepastacheesecake
winepastacheesecake | winepastacheesecake

Compassionate reply advises letting dying husband’s family visit despite past conflict ❤️

Image credit: fourjoys99 | fourjoys99
fourjoys99 | fourjoys99

Consider the husband’s wishes before allowing last-minute visit.

Image credit: Crosshairqueen | Crosshairqueen
Crosshairqueen | Crosshairqueen

Compassionate reply offers support to grieving commenter. ❤️

Image credit: Tranqup | Tranqup
Tranqup | Tranqup

Last chance to see dying father, don’t take it away.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Respect husband’s wishes, not yours. NAH or ESH?

Image credit: morbidcuriosity86 | morbidcuriosity86
morbidcuriosity86 | morbidcuriosity86

Larry’s mysterious desires leave commenters scratching their heads

Image credit: xdsagecat | xdsagecat
xdsagecat | xdsagecat

Compassionate comment receives no replies. Spread kindness today!

Image credit: Ihavenoclueagain | Ihavenoclueagain
Ihavenoclueagain | Ihavenoclueagain

Engage in empathy: consider the dying husband’s wishes

Image credit: randomroxie | randomroxie
randomroxie | randomroxie

Commenter advises against punishing family for grieving differently.

Image credit: No-Primary-9011 | No-Primary-9011
No-Primary-9011 | No-Primary-9011

Wife’s refusal to let dying husband’s family visit: AH or justified?

Image credit: Erindanyele | Erindanyele
Erindanyele | Erindanyele
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