Parenting is a complicated task. There are so many times when you wonder if you are doing the right thing by your children, but you're not entirely sure. No one makes a rule book on when the right time to teach them lessons are, or how to implement the "life conversations," with them either. But, sometimes, there's a time and a place for them.
Unsplash | Marisa Howenstine
Mom Explains Her 'Peaceful Parenting' Approach To Ensure Her Kids Don't Lie
One mom recently shared some tips for other parens on TikTok.
Benina Caviggiola shared that some parents oftentimes complain that their kids keep secrets from them or hide things from them, instead of opening up and talking to them about everything that goes on in their day-to-day lives.
Benina says that her son, however, is different.
This mom shares that her son tells her absolutely everything, even if it means ratting himself out for things he has done wrong.
"He tells me if he's done something naughty, he tells me if his friends have done something naughty, he even tells me if his daddy has given him something he's not supposed to have," she said.
If you're wondering why that is, it's simple.
The TikTok mom says she practices, what she calls, "peaceful parenting." Peaceful parenting means that you should "remain cool and calm no matter what your child tells you, and not to overreact." When you overreact, your child can correlate this with opening up to you.
Instead of turning everything into a "life lesson" moment, she does something else.
The mom says that she uses moments of confession and trust as "connection moments" instead of moments to teach her son "life lessons." When kids approach their parents, sometimes they want to just talk and have someone listen, not have someone respond with rules and advice.
There are other moments for that, she says.
Benina ensures there are moments where you can and you should teach kids life lessons and things of that nature, but not the moment when your child is looking to confide in you and speak to you, trusting in you.
Some people said their own parents did this to them.
Some adults reflected back on their own childhood and say that their parents were frequently pushing "life lessons" on them instead of just letting them open up and confide, and it pushed them away from their parents entirely.
Others said adults could stand to learn this.
TikTok users share that it's not just parents who have to do this with their kids, but also adults that need to do this with other adults. So many adults listen to respond instead of listening to just listen.
However, some parents were unsure of this.
Some people online were confused, saying that it's a parent's job to teach their children right from wrong. If a child is repeatedly doing the "wrong thing," isn't it a parent's job to reprimand and punish them?
The mom said there's a specific time for this.
The mom doesn't say that punishment should be totally avoided forever, but instead, that kids know when they've done the wrong thing. Many times, if they trust you, they will admit when they're wrong because they know they are wrong.
Many thanked the mom for the knowledge.
Many people online thanked the mom for sharing her advice and even shared that they learned new parenting tips from her. One mom said she will "use an example" instead of using exactly what her child has told her.
One parent says they struggle with this type of conversation, sometimes.
The mom said that, "not every moment is a lesson teaching moment," and that if your child is confiding in you, it's not the right time. She suggests "bringing it up another time" instead of at that moment.
Super great parenting!
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