Grandmothers are the salt of the earth. These sweet caring human beings live for their families and tend to express their love in a similar fashion — with their cooking. Most would rather go hungry than see a family member not eat.
Recently, Reddit user foodormoney tried to explain to his girlfriend how his grandmother goes overboard at mealtimes — fat-shame and that she should try to stick to a single portion. She outright refused and accused her man of trying to fat-shame her.
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Reddit user foodormoney has been seeing his girlfriend “Ashley” for roughly 3 months.
To provide some context to the story, foodormoney begins by explaining how Ashley comes from a very well-off family. He, on the other hand, grew up in extreme poverty for the majority of his life.
It’s also important to note that Ashley is a heavyset person (his words) and an extremely vocal advocate for body positivity. She will always stand up for herself against anyone whom she perceives to be fat-shaming her or others.
The other integral character to the story is foodormoney’s 70-year-old grandmother.
“My grandmother is a wonderful woman but she is both very proud and very broke ,” foodormoney explains. “She likes to have us over for dinner and is an excellent cook but financially she can’t really afford it.”
He goes on to say that his grandmother also refuses to accept any financial help. She believes it is solely her responsibility and therefore family members aren’t allowed to bring food of their own.
About a month ago, foodormoney invited Ashley to a family dinner at his grandmother’s house.
Ashley was such a big fan of his grandmother’s delicious home cooking that she went back for seconds — and then thirds.
“This is not done is[sic] my family,” he explained. “We all take a single small portion, as the leftovers are what my grandmother has to eat for the week so Ashley taking more meant my grandmother didn’t eat for the next couple days.”
“After the dinner I explained this to Ashley and she was shocked. I tried to bring my grandmother food but she refused the “charity” out of pride,” foodormoney said.
A few weeks passed and foodormoney was invited to dinner yet again and told to bring Ashley along. He tried to have a conversation with Ashley prior to the meal in order to once again reiterate his grandmother’s strained finances.
He asked her to please only take a single smaller portion, so that his grandmother wouldn’t be forced to go without food for another week.
“I said we could go eat again after the meal if she was still hungry,” foodormoney offered.
But Ashley would have nothing of it. She became angry and started berating foodormoney for trying to fat-shame her. Ashley explained point blank that “she will NOT be shamed for her eating, she will NOT limit her food and that NO ONE other than her decides when she’s had ‘enough’ food.”
The whole ordeal left foodormoney pondering whether or not he and Ashley were as compatible as he once thought, so he turned to the Reddit AITA thread for advice.
Overwhelmingly, people seemed to side with foodormoney.
Reddit user goodstuff2020 said, “If she doesn’t care about an older lady who is being very kind and generous (warning there!), then she should at least care that this is an important person to OP (additional warning!). Two very bad signs.”
Another user named Cheermom2009 wrote, “She doesn’t seem to care about your grandma (who sounds like a wonderful person!) She only cares about herself. As a big girl , I am all for body positivity and definitely don’t agree with body shaming of any kind. That was not happening here.”
There were others, however, who felt that everyone was at fault to some degree.
Redditor SnakesInYerPants was quick to point out that “When the whole family knows how broke you are, your pride and refusal to accept help while still insisting upon hosting is now putting a burden on others.”
They continue by adding that it isn’t right for grandma to put all this pressure on family members for meals that she insists on hosting. Either go potluck style or accept the help that your family is trying to give you.
h/t: Reddit
