Wisdom is bred from experience. The simple fact of the matter is that none of us can be expected to know that which we do not know.
Thankfully, when it comes to those looking to get married, we've got plenty of people to learn from. Have a look as married couples share the things they want unmarried couples to know.
I say this as someone who has been in a loving committed relationship for nearly 8 years. If you've never heard your partner fart or have never walked into the bathroom after they've eaten tacos — then you really don't know them at all.
There are some things that are unavoidable when it comes to filling in the rest of the family. But as far as personal fights and squabbles, it's best to keep that dirty laundry contained to your own household.
"Be honest always! Once you break trust, you never really get it back. Even if that honesty might cause some momentary discomfort, in the long run, you’re better off because your spouse will trust you." - Reddit u/Obiwan_ca_blowme
The worst time to realize that your spouse or partner has no interest in having children is three years into your relationship. These conversations can be difficult but they're crucial if your relationship is to survive.
A lot of people are under the misconception that marriage or partnership is the be-all and end-all to emotional problems and issues. You need to understand that your partner isn't the key to solving your own issues surrounding mental health.
"Go on a road trip together. Travel together before marriage," advises Reddit user healthydoseofsarcasm. "Close quarters and tough situations will give you insights into who that other person is."
"You marry a family. Even if your partner has mostly severed ties with their biological family and has set clear boundaries, and even if you think you love your partner’s family and they’re amazing." - Reddit u/badgirlscout
Try and keep it in perspective that your wedding is one day of your life, while your marriage, on the other hand, is meant to last forever. Don't go overboard and always stick to a budget.
"Know that whatever the darkest part of your life you’ve previously experienced was, you're probably going to go through something equally dark, but with your partner. Having someone who will support you rather than leave you in that moment is pivotal." - Reddit u/IslandsOnTheCoast
Romantic love is fleeting, beauty fades, and youth is wasted on the young. Being in love means making the conscious choice to rededicate yourself and all that you are to a single person each and every day.
"Finances are something you manage together. It isn’t something you cede to one spouse for whatever reason. I say this as someone who had to teach my dad how to use an ATM and the online banking site after my mom died." - Reddit u/ConnieLingus24
What it does make you an expert in is your own relationship; nothing else. And to be quite honest, calling yourself an expert at that might still be pushing it.
I try to look at it this way: if something is still bothering you 24 hrs after it's taken place — then speak up within 48 hrs. Otherwise, all your doing is spinning your wheels.
Gender roles are an antiquated notion that have no place in our modern-day society. Both partners need to show up and pull their fair share of their weight, as well as to help carry the mental load.
"Have things you enjoy doing with your spouse that don't involve sex. The most stable marriages are ones where you and your spouse could be friends if you weren't married. Goes for dating, too, IMO." - Reddit u/Beezertheturnip
h/t: Reddit
