One of the most important lessons parents teach their kids is “honesty is the best policy.”
Unfortunately, this can backfire — badly. It’s like someone injected children with truth serum and they have to blurt out every thought that comes to mind. The good, the bad, and the hilarious.
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Here, we’re proving that children can be brutally honest, even when we don’t want them to be.
The mole.
This reminds us of that scene in Austin Powers when a guy has a big mole on his face and Austin couldn’t stop pointing it out.
The picture is also extra hilarious since the dad’s mole in the drawing is bigger than his eyes.
Subject to change.
Aww. How sweet.
We’re guessing their rating scale is dependant on things like, who was nice to them, who gave them candy, and who enjoys spending time with them. So, basically, grandma is always their favorite person.
The camp counselor.
One girl had a child ask if she’s wearing makeup. Instead of dishing out a compliment over her natural beauty, they said, “you should be.”
In other words, we’re not paying camp counselors enough!
The apology note.
It starts so sweet and then… the kicker. This kid does have a point, though.
Meatloaf should be left off every menu. It’s a slab of meat that people throw a lot of ketchup on. Gross.
The pretty details.
I mean, it is still a compliment; just one that has a limited warranty on it.
She’ll have to wait until the next day to see if she’s still the prettiest girl he’s ever seen… that day.
A hairy warning.
A lot of parents forget that kids notice everything — including male pattern baldness.
This child told their dad , “daddy, ur hair is growing in the wrong direction! Its going back in ur head instead of out!” Ouch!
Like mother, like daughter.
Oh, boy. Unfortunately, kiddos catch Mom looking at their worst a lot of the time.
With kids to care for and other things to tend to, who has the time to comb that bird’s nest?
The bagpipes.
Is anyone getting Friends flashbacks from this?
You know, when Ross gets bagpipes and plays it terribly for all his friends? Well, they couldn’t hide their discomfort any more than these kids and their covered-up ears.
The butt wiggle.
This mom’s child asked her , “Mommy does my butt wiggle when I walk like yours does?” Yikes!
Well, the saying is “shake what your mama gave ya,” so we’ll give the kid a pass on this one.
The pep talk.
Lesson for parents: don’t go to your kids when you need a confidence boost.
They are not afraid of pointing out the things we’d rather not notice in the mirror, like our jiggly thighs or messy hair.
The lunch note.
Oh, no. Looks like someone may have gotten balony and mustard again. Or maybe that meatloaf from above.
At least the heart and smiley face can dull the parent’s pain, at least for a little while.
The solo.
Who needs Simon Cowell or any of those other talent competition show judges?
If you want the real truth on your “talent,” just seek the brutally honest feedback of young children. They’ll remind you not to quit your day job.
The stinky breath.
“Direct quote from the 4 yr old.. ‘your face looks cuter than mine, but your breath stinks.’ Alrighty then…. #kidsaretoohonest,” this mom wrote .
No one likes to hear their breath smells, but it’s probably better coming from a child than an adult.
The busy mom
Ellen as in a child or Ellen DeGeneres, host of The Ellen DeGeneres Show ?
If it’s the latter, it’s not making the mom look too good. Plus, she’ll be devastated when the last episode soon airs!
Papa’s white beard.
Kids are ah-mazing at pointing out “what doesn’t belong” in a group. Just think of all the times they solve that in their puzzle groups.
So, of course, this dad got reminded of his age by his son.
The chicken pox.
It’s one thing when kids are brutally honest with their parents; it’s entirely another when they do it with strangers.
Like this child who pointed at a teenager with obvious acne and asked him if he had the chicken pox. The cringe!
The note.
We spy a design show host in their child’s future! They know just how to spruce up this person’s “beautiful” house and even offered their recommendation for free!
Most people have to pay for their expert-level critique.
The roast.
It’s usually the other way around! It just goes to show that kids really don’t try to spare anyone’s feelings .
If you fall down or accidentally embarrass yourself, you won’t find any comfort in them. Just a point and laugh.
The backup singer.
This dad wrote that he was driving home from bowling with the radio blasting and everyone singing.
Then, the son’s friend tells his son that someday he’s going to make a great backup singer. “Realistic compliment or subtle burn?”
Not everyone can suntan like the rest of us.
I think Ms. Jenny may have just been busted using bronzer by one of her students! Either that or they have an all too strange fascination with the pigment of their teacher’s legs.
One fish, two fish, sad fish, blue fish.
“At the aquarium “wow daddy, that fish is even uglier than you,” wrote Reddit user Post-Apocalipstick. If my child ever said something like that to me I don’t know whether I’d want to smack them in the head or break down and cry.
Assigning cutlery according to your family member’s BMI.
This Redditor was setting the dinner table alongside their nephew. All of a sudden, the young boy proclaimed that his uncle should get the biggest fork because he happened to be the fattest.
Where’s your mother?
After a particularly stressful day at work, Redditor damecourt’s daughter said “The only job that matters to me is being my dad and you’re awesome at it. And if mommy leaves you for another dad, I will always tell the new dad that my old dad was my favorite dad.”
Try not to take it personal.
Reddit user sheribubble was told that she looked weird in glasses by her toddler. When she took them off, the kid took one look at her, shouted “ew!” and made her mother put the glasses back on her face.
“Your head looks like a shape.”
What shape exactly? A circle, a square, or something in between? I suppose it doesn’t really matter. And judging from this comment , it’s clearly something that this Reddit user has had serious insecurities over.
It’s the earnest nature of the question that stings the most.
“A dead serious[sic] 3 year old[sic] little kid who straight up asked me “Why are you ugly ?” No ill intent behind it, wasn’t being mean. The little guy just wanted to know.”
Have any men ever mistakenly been called pregnant before?
Redditor BlairEllis was once asked by a curious young child if they were pregnant or just fat. It should also be noted that Blair happens to be male and identifies as such.
Divorce is never easy on anyone.
“My kids told me their dad’s new girlfriend was prettier than I am,” Reddit user edna_danger said. “They were totally wrong.”
As a child of divorce, I can’t say that this isn’t hilarious but also incredibly cruel at the same time.
Good dad, bad boyfriend.
“A couple weeks ago my fiance and I got into an argument and my 9 year old[sic] step daughter[sic] told me “you aren’t the best boyfriend, but you are a really good dad.” Simultaneously made me really proud and feel really shitty.” – Reddit u/Csonkus41
Way to drive the knife right through my heart.
In a since-deleted Reddit comment, a 10-year-old girl explained that the reason why this particular user was still single had everything to do with their personality and the way that they looked.
What’s that on your upper lip?
Reddit user DrunkenYeti13 said that when his Portuguese wife was pregnant, the couple’s four-year-old daughter asked her mother why her upper lip was all fuzzy?
She then bolted out the door to the salon as quickly as possible.
The better to smell you with.
This Reddit user was stopped by a random child so that they could remark on just how large their nose happened to be. According to the kid, the Redditor would have been able to smell at least 10 things at once.
Dear diary…
“My grandmother was reading me an old diary the other day, one of her children said to her “you’re the best mom in the world, even if you do look like that.” – Reddit u/ellagirlxoxo
The clock is ticking.
When Redditor mpatzy was babysitting a 10-year-old that lived in their neighborhood, they were told to get married as quickly as they possibly could. Otherwise, they would only get uglier and fatter as time went on.
Gravity is a cruel mistress.
Reddit user nomorepumpkins was visiting his neighbor when all of a sudden her child asked out of nowhere why her boobs were melting?
If that comment doesn’t get you grounded for life — nothing will.
