It’s no secret that getting married young is a risk.
The divorce rate is higher, your brain isn’t fully developed yet, and people doubt your relationship.
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Despite these risks, millions of young couples still gamble on love . While some were proven right, others proved everyone wrong.
Here, couples who got hitched young are sharing what they’ve learned.
Always trust your gut.
There are going to be a lot of people against couples getting married young, especially families.
If this couple who got married at 21 and 23 had listened to the naysayers, they wouldn’t be married 18 years today.
They were too naive.
“In my situation at least (I’m sure other couples are more successful than my ex and I) we were both too young, too naive and too unprepared. We both grew as people and, in doing so, grew apart.” – Redditor DaveGeek
Marrying someone so much older made the relationship unequal.
Marrying a 43-year-old man when they were 19 made this person grow up very quickly. They didn’t become their own person until their 30s after the divorce.
They are still so in love.
“Married at 20 and I married better than I deserve. Was just telling her yesterday that people always told me that being with the same person would be hard and eventually the whole “lovey-dovey” thing would wear off. I still get the warm fuzzies when I’m around her and I enjoy pinching her butt more than ever.” – Redditor 10_96
Make time to build your own identity.
This Buzzfeed community member pointed out how they struggled to know themselves when going from their parents’ house to married life with no real space for growth in-between.
Time made them grow apart.
“I got married at 23, got pregnant 9 months later. It was good for the first 4 years and then he changed, and I realized that I didn’t really like what he changed into or who I changed into to fit with him.” – Redditor lunafae84
Many couples marry young when a child is involved.
Couples can feel obligated to marry in these situations. Children can also make people stay in unhappy marriages, like this person who has been with their partner for 15 years because of their kid.
Always make each other a priority.
“I think the most important thing I can say is regardless of what is going on in life, make time for each other. Especially if you have kids as they can suck the life right out of you. Make sure you still go on dates and make having intimate time a priority.” – Redditor DexRogue
Some marry to experience the benefits of marriage, like sex.
This is a common scenario for those who grew up in extremely conservative or Christian households. They get married young so that they can finally have sex without guilt. This can backfire, though, when couples discover they’re not sexually compatible after marriage.
People change.
“I was married at 19 and thought we knew exactly who we were. But I was divorced by 22 because he and I just were not on the same page in terms of finances, education, and work.” – leakbeki
Few will root for you.
“We got engaged at 17 and married at 19 so that we could build our lives together. We’ve grown as people individually and as a couple, and it’s been an amazing journey. Everyone sees us as ‘such a wonderful couple’ now, but we really missed the excitement and celebration from others early on.” – ellesevensten
Arranged marriages can work.
This Buzzfeed community member wrote that they had an arranged marriage when they were 18 and their husband was 20. They liked having someone to go through the same aging process with.
It can be hard to find people your own age who relate.
“The hardest thing about marrying young was that most of our friends were or are single, and it became difficult to relate to people our age.” – Anonymous
Don’t rush into having babies.
Doing so meant this couple had to make big decisions about a house, career, and finances, at a time where they weren’t emotionally mature enough to do so. They also missed out on a lot of young freedom.
You’ll get to experience a lot of “firsts” together.
“It’s been lovely because we had a lot of our ‘firsts’ together, first real jobs, learning to drive, bought a house etc so as if we did our last bit of growing up together and built our lives together as a team.” – Redditor MrsNatalilly
Make sure you know who you’re marrying.
This Buzzfeed community member married a man who enjoyed being married, but didn’t enjoy the duties of a husband. This included taking care of the family and being financially responsible.
Marriage takes a lot of hard work.
“We met as pre-teens, dated in high school, and married at 19 & 20. 10 years and 2 kids later and we’re still doing well! We have had a lot of ups and downs, a lot of challenging make it or break it moments but so far our relationship has been very rewarding, enjoyable, and fulfilling.” – Redditor nectarinekushpdx
Wait until you’re more mature.
“I had just turned 18. He’s six years older. It’s better to wait until your mid- to late twenties to consider a serious relationship and children. At least let your brain finish developing.” – anonymous
Think seriously about marrying young.
Research has found that the divorce rate is higher for those who marry young. That’s not to say that it can’t work, but just consider this Redditor who called it the “worst decision” he’s ever made.
