What would you do if it turned out your spouse was your cousin?
Realistically? It's a bit icky, but there's nothing illegal about it, and really it should be seen as not a big deal.
Still, it would throw any couple for a loop, and one such conundrum recently popped up on the r/relationship_advice subreddit.
This is how the post begins. Basically, after 23 years of marriage, a man and woman are contemplating divorce. Why?
It turns out a DNA test has revealed the terrible truth: they're cousins.
OP said they shared one common grandparent, which makes them sixth cousins. There's just one problem: sixth cousins are distant relations, which means they couldn't possibly share a grandparent.
Well, OP said this makes them sixth cousins, but one commenter notes that sixth cousins are very, very distant relations: like, so distant that their last common ancestor would be seven generations back.
"Her parents have tried talking with her, her siblings, friends, coworkers, and all say the same thing, its not a big deal," wrote OP. "But she is focused on how disgusting it is that she has not only slept with her cousin, but she actually married and had kids with him. How she is now just a common idiot hillbilly."
You have to be much, much more closely related for inbreeding to be a problem. There's more than enough genetic diversity between sixth cousins.
If we're talking about a common ancestor seven generations back, they're only related in a very technical sense.
DNA testing shows us that, by these standards, everyone in the world is technically a 'cousin' to everyone else in the world.
"I believe I heard in one of the free lectures by Robert Sepaulsky on YouTube that 6th cousins are technically the most genetically compatible to produce offspring, which would be hilarious considering her reaction," wrote one commenter.
A comment from someone who dabbles in genealogy notes that their common ancestors at the sixth cousin level were born in the 1720s — in other words, it's basically ancient history.
Sixth cousins, that relation is sooooooo tenuous and far away that it basically doesn’t count for anything at all," read one comment. "And the wife needs to have that explained thoroughly and in depth to her."
Look, no one wants to realize they're related to their lover, but when it's a distant relation, you just need to let it go.
"My husband's my 5th cousin," wrote a commenter. "We just find the coincidence amazing that our families ended up in the same place and we fell in love."
The OP wrote that “[the husband] is so regretful that they even took the test and really wished things were back to normal. But the damage is done. This pandora box is open and it’s all [his wife] can think about.
At the end of the post, the person who posted the comment was also filled with uncertainty.
They write, “What could I possibly say that would help? [The husband] asked me what I think he should do and if possible, if I could talk with [his wife].”
The OP continues by stating that it “Seems [they] have always provided solutions to help solve many of [the couple's] marital problems. [The husband] also said [the wife] always listens to [the OP].”
In the end, the OP “told [the husband] to give [them] a few days to think about it. This request has been keeping [the OP] up for several nights. [They] don’t know what or how to even approach this.”
It seems as though the situation is also significantly affecting those around the distant-cousin couple.
What would you do if you found out your spouse was a distant cousin? What if you found out they were a closer cousin? What advice would you give to a friend who was in a similar situation as this couple? Make sure to let us know in the comments!
