Apparently, the universe doesn't revolve around you — or even me, for that matter. This comes as a huge shock to anyone who has been coddled by their parents since birth. Don't be insulted, I'm also talking about myself.
If you're someone who doesn't really understand that the world isn't here to be your personal playground, then you may need to read this article ASAP.
Spiders don't give a crap about your bananas. They really don't. They just want to weave tangled webs and stuff.
Otherwise, it's just a complete waste of time, and you wouldn't want that. Would you?
This is especially true if you are a postal worker. At least the serial numbers look like they're intact.
It's best you learn this now rather than later.
This is what I call a hustler. They didn't set out to find a phone and hold it ransom, but they found one, so why not make the best of it?
The messes they make rival that of a natural disaster. There's really no way around that fact.
I, on the other hand, require something a tad more dramatic.
There's really no reason to put on underwear at this point. Just save yourself the trouble and sleep the day away.
At this point, it's probably too late to do anything about it, but I kinda want to call the police. I feel like sight should be a necessity when it comes to operating a vehicle.
I don't know why the universe has to pick off the weakest in the herd, but that's nature for ya. Natural selection doesn't play around.
This is a straight-up bad omen.
Apparently, it's a supreme jerk to many people, including this innocent, decapitated man. Hopefully he catches up to his head eventually.
Fortunately, that is not how I define privacy. The only living thing I let watch me do my business is my dog and the shower spider.
You probably don't even see them coming. They could be your neighbor, coworker, dentist, or even the man sleeping on the floor of the subway car.
I will not be tricked into consuming urine particles. That's just not how I plan to live my life.
Let's just hope that nobody understands the deeper meaning behind this license plate. Otherwise, you're probably going to get some pretty weird looks.
