The constant pressure that our society puts on young women to become mothers can feel almost overbearing at times. It’s almost as if a woman’s worth begins and ends with her womb.
TikTok user Abby Ramsay thinks it’s high time we shatter this ignorant preconception about women and women’s bodies .
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Recently, Abby posted a viral compilation video that details her sterilization process. It now has the internet spinning, reigniting the debate regarding women who choose to be child-free.
One of the most popular trends currently circulating on social media is gender reveals.
Happy couples can’t help but share their eager anticipation with the world as they discover whether or not they’re about to have a baby boy or girl.
And while public opinion is divided on them, one thing is certain: they aren’t going away any time soon.
My motto, personally, is that so long as no one is hurting anyone, what’s the harm? Parents are excited, and that’s okay. But everyone feels differently.
Now, thanks to a 24-year-old TikTok user by the name of Abby Ramsay, a new movement has been born.
Instead of posting a pregnancy announcement or gender reveal, Abby saw fit to share with the world a compilation of photos celebrating her sterilization.
After six years of trying, in vain, Abby was finally able to find a doctor willing to listen to her needs.
The stop-motion photo compilation shows Abby approaching a large rock in the park.
Sitting atop the boulder is a small package with the word “Congratulations” written on the side.
Upon opening the box, Abby reveals the paperwork for her sterilization procedure. Not exactly your typical gender reveal!
She thrusts it high in the air for all to see.
“I’m excited to take control of my own body,” Abby captioned the video. “I’m not a baby maker .”
In order to complete the sterilization process, Abby had to undergo a combination surgery.
The first of which is known as a bilateral salpingectomy . This requires a doctor to go in and extract a woman’s fallopian tubes, thus removing the egg’s passageway from the ovaries to the uterus.
The second surgery is called an endometrial ablation, which removes the tissue lining the uterus.
Abby said that her sterilization decision was born out of a desire to not have children, and also due to the fact that traditional forms of birth control don’t work for her.
While speaking with ‘BuzzFeed’, Abby said that it wasn’t easy to find a doctor willing to perform the procedure.
“The main reasonings they gave were age and possibility of regret ,” Abby explained. “One said she didn’t believe in performing ‘unnecessary surgery’ and said she was against things like plastic surgery, too.”
The third doctor that Abby saw implied that there was something wrong with her mental health.
They suggested that instead of going through with a sterilization procedure, Abby would be better off entering into counseling .
This would be in order to get to the root of the problem as to why she didn’t want children.
It turns out that an unwillingness to perform permanent birth control procedures is incredibly common amongst physicians.
While speaking to The Chicago Tribune, family practitioner Dr. John Merling said,
“I strongly discourage it under age 30 because I’ve seen so many people change their minds .”
Judging from the comments on Abby’s video, she isn’t the only one who’s encountered resistance.
“I’ll never understand why for them we are old enough to have kids, be married and work a 9to5[sic] job but not to decided to not have children,” fellow TikTok user tulipashes said.
“The fact a woman has to fight for her own right to not have children is ridiculous,” hello_cassiedarling echoed.
We need to stop viewing women as baby conduits; their value doesn’t begin and end with their desire to bear children.
Not everyone is meant to be a parent, and that’s OK.
At the end of the day, what’s important is making sure we respect everyone’s personal decisions, especially when it comes to something as major as starting or not starting a family!
