Oh what a tangled web we weave, when we practice being giant snakes. I’m pretty sure that’s how it goes, right? Who cares?
When you get right down to it, no one likes to be fooled by tomfoolery. It’s just no fun being the one who gets pranked. However, it is fun for the spectators, so that’s gotta count for something.
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1. Rude. Batman’s lifestyle is not your fashion statement.
Haven’t you learned anything from the vigorous social debate taking over Facebook this past year? You have two choices: either get woke or get out.
2. As someone with the eyesight of a nocturnal rodent, I find this offensive.
Searching for a pen is one of the most stressful situations, and this kind of trickery doesn’t make it any easier.
3. So I guess we can just conclude that Dax Shepard and Zach Braff are basically the same people.
I mean, we have photographic evidence, so why argue with that?
4. Although this still looks like some sort of animal rights violation, it’s still much better than it could have been.
Please get a little fluorescent sweater for this fur ball before the unthinkable happens.
5. This potato may look like the forearm of the ripped yet extremely sketchy guy at your gym, but it’s not.
It’s just an old-fashioned sweet potato that’s been bulking all winter.
6. Is it just me, or does this dad look like he’s actually part of this picture?
Sending out an optical illusion as a holiday card is pretty savage, because you just know someone is going to be obsessing over it.
7. Never ever conflate pregnancy with chocolate, because for a second there, I got really excited.
And when I realized there wasn’t a toy in there, I was pretty pissed.
8. You really should be careful what you wear on television, because blending into the background is a real possibility.
The background can make or break an outfit, but hopefully not a career.
9. So I guess stretch marks don’t sweat.
I guess this is a good thing if you like rocking tiger stripes on the regular. I, for one, am all about this kind of fitness fashion statement.
10. Doggos dressed as soda pops are my new favorite thing.
I know you can’t really drink them or anything, but just look how cute they are all labeled and stuff.
11. At first, I thought this was a handful of gummy candy, but then I realized that I’m starving and need to grab lunch.
When I got back, I saw them for what they truly are: sea glass.
12. If your shirt matches your IKEA dishware, you have made a grave fashion mistake.
Go upstairs and change before anyone sees the travesty draped around your tribal-tattooed shoulders. Harsh, but I’m only trying to help.
13. What a tangled web we weave when we sleep with the fathers of our closest friends.
Shakespeare is so poetic. His plays are still very much applicable to modern life.
14. If I had known this was a legitimate option, my life would be completely different.
And by completely different, I mean much happier.
If you could make money being lazy, you would be living the dream.
15. If you have to ask for the reward, you’re holding the phone for ransom.
So don’t even act like you’re doing a good deed, because you actually just lost all the nice guy privileges.
16. You really have to work with what you have sometimes.
Considering how fast trends come and go these days, I’m surprised there aren’t more fashion hacks to help the world save a few bucks.
17. I thought doctors were supposed to be good, not evil.
This is the kind of thing that’ll give a somewhat healthy person high blood pressure and a minor heart attack.
Someone revoke this man’s license to practice medicine.
18. This is the kind of disguise that you can expect a Russian spy to come up with.
This is the most extra way to pimp out your ride without looking like you pimped out anything at all.
19. That fake mini speaker was probably meant to distract you from the fact that you overpaid for a mediocre sound system.
The sad part is that it almost worked, didn’t it?
20. If you have leftover body parts hanging around, why wouldn’t you try to pull something like this off?
I mean, you’ve been blessed with opportunity, so don’t take it for granted.
21. They say our dead relatives are looking down on us smiling, but now we know that’s a lie.
Devastating, but at least we don’t have to hear their passive-aggressive comments across the dinner table every Sunday night.
22. Sometimes, a fork will pick up a little Italian when it spends too much time in pasta.
I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, it’s just annoying. I guess this is a spoon now.
23. Listen up, kids! This is why you don’t swallow your gum.
I don’t actually know what this is, but I do know that it’s not gum. It’s probably some sort of street art exhibit that your weirdest friend created for a sidewalk craft festival in Maine.
24. It’s all fun and games until that thin and fragile ice cracks.
No one has a good time defrosting. It’s just not considered a pleasant activity. I’m sure you can think of many other ways to spend your time.
