Everyone’s families are weird. I know mine is, and whenever I meet someone whose family seems like they might be normal, that person will casually drop a bomb reminding me that as weird as my family is, there are about a million out there with as much, or more, dysfunction. Part of the beauty in that is you always find a way to make it work for your fam, even if it might not work for anyone else’s. Here are some families that have it all figured out.
1. This is just their way of giving thanks that you’re not there this year.
I know it sounds harsh, but if you’re the kind of guy who would skip out on a holiday meal with his family, you’re also probably the kind of guy who complains dinner isn’t ready on time and immediately takes a nap after eating instead of hanging out with his siblings.
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2. Lucky!
My family communicates with obnoxious hand gestures and passive-aggressiveness, not a single cute animal in sight. There isn’t a single person on the planet who would choose yelling up the stairs over this.
3. Grandma was young once too, you know.
Sure, maybe they didn’t have keg stands back in her day. (Or did they? How far back can we date keg stands?) But that doesn’t mean she’s a stranger to a good time.
4. Just invite your art snob friends over and tell them it’s an original.
You don’t even have to say who painted it. If you keep saying it’s an original, they’ll eventually start making offers on it. Trust me.
5. What’s that there in the front?
Oh, just Grandpa’s morbid sense of humor. If this actually ends up being their final family portrait, I wonder if it’ll make them like this picture even more or less.
6. What’s the point of having kids if you’re not gonna have fun with it?
Sure, you could end up with a traumatized child once they realize they’re eating a headless bear, but no risk, no reward.
7. Distressed as a design choice is a foreign concept to the elderly.
When you were raised in a generation where things needed to last as long as possible, it seems ridiculous to buy things that are already damaged.
8. This woman is my hero.
I’m pretty sure I asked for attention for my last six birthdays, so I can deffo appreciate anyone willing to go to these lengths to get a few minutes of somebody else’s time.
9. This is quality parenting.
This dad didn’t want his daughter to miss out on a delicious Trader Joe’s chip, and rightfully so…they’re pretty great. He only sent one, though, so maybe he misses his daughter and is trying to lure her back home for a visit?
10. What this mom doesn’t know is that she just painted herself into a corner.
Now every time she tells her daughter to come home at once, she’ll know it’s completely unfounded.
11. Everybody knows that Lorde sings the devil’s music.
She only changed her name to trick unsuspecting Christians into buying her albums and by then, it’s too late.
12. Moms are the only people who will always think you’re handsome.
If she’s sending you snaps like this, then maybe you should take a good, hard look in the mirror and consider making some lifestyle changes.
13. Haha, this was pretty genius. I don’t know what their relationship is like, but having someone around who looks vaguely like you definitely comes in handy.
I hope the Home Alone scream was the kid’s idea because that’s a good touch, too.
“Ah! My ruggedness!”
14. You know, I’m wondering if we should follow this grandpa’s example.
Obviously, blocking out the comments can only improve things. But we also might get somewhere if we don’t even see the rabbit hole the related videos will try and lead us down.
15. Wow, the mom can’t even say she didn’t put any effort into this because based on the label, she actually found someone that sells these.
Actually, while we’re talking about people who have it all figured out, who’s the genius who managed to sell people nothing?
16. Well, well, well, somebody obviously found a way to take the edge off those parent-teacher meetings.
And depending on how true this label is, I think it’s safe to say that this is the only one that would start with a reassuring hug.
17. As ironically amazing as this painting is, the real kicker comes when you find out how it was delivered.
The uploader’s boyfriend was supposed to bring it to his grandma, and he seriously just rang the bell and ran away like it’s a basket of puppies.
18. I wouldn’t be surprised if the uncle risked getting caught just because he knew the family wouldn’t believe this if he didn’t show it.
Nothing gets the day started right like an unidentified ball slathered in congealed, gray…sauce? Gravy? I’m genuinely not sure.
19. I don’t know how old this kid is, but she must be living the life if she already knows how to deal with the paparazzi.
Somehow, I don’t think the editor of Random Kids Weekly is gonna be too happy with a purple outline of their star.
20. I know those dresses don’t come cheap, so it’s only right that they’d want every shot of it to look as powerful and regal as possible.
That’s a little tip for you fine folks. If you want to make someone look imposing, shoot them from below.
21. They’re probably just happy that you’re home for the holidays.
You know, instead of in prison. At least they’re laughing about it, and not disowning you for bringing shame to the family.
22. She’s just trying to be supportive.
This is the adult equivalent of when a small child says they’re running away and their mom says, “Fine, I’ll pack your suitcase for you.”
23. What is this, some kind of hairloom?
Get it, because it was passed down from dad to son? Oh, whatever, that was funny.
24. This grandmother made a Tinder profile for her granddaughter.
Grandma grew up in a different time, and securing a husband is no longer the top priority to many women. I guess she’d rather learn to use modern technology than accept modern dating practices.
