I think the internet was built around cat worship. I mean, when you think about it, the amount of cat content we share and consume is kind of unreal . But it makes sense, since cats are kind of the best.
And these tweets, as hilarious as they are, show just how much of a chokehold cats have on society. You’d almost think a cat wrote some of these.
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I mean, how can you not?
That urge to pspsps at any cat you see, am I right? Like, show of hands: how many of us have ever seen a cat on the street and tried to do anything we can to get it to come over?
A punishable offence indeed.
Do you think cats know that we’re really sorry when we accidentally step on their feet or tails? Because we are, and I’m pretty sure most of us would do anything to make it up to them.
Gotta keep your priorities straight.
Look, a cat’s birthday is a pretty big deal. Even if people who aren’t feline fans try to make you think otherwise. I think it’s a perfectly good excuse not to go anywhere.
The truth comes out.
The good thing about dogs is that they’ll love you no matter what. Cats love you, too, but they don’t always want to be around you. Once you figure that out, they aren’t so bad.
They need to know what’s going on too!
For the most part, I’m sure your cat doesn’t care about whatever random thing you stick in its face. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t include your cat into whatever you’re doing!
Every. Single. Time.
This is pretty universal between dogs and cats, to be honest. In fact, if you have a pet and you don’t say, “big stretch” every time it stretches, you’re doing it wrong.
We should be more like cats.
Cats know what they’re about and act like they walk on air. And, like, they practically do walk on air, so they aren’t wrong. We could learn a thing or two about cats’ levels of confidence.
Come on, people!
If you have a cat and you don’t include it in a zoom meeting, why are you even there? To work? We all know that’s not what zoom meetings are about.
I’m actually pretty sure a cat wrote this one.
Either that, or this person really loves that cat. And like, that’s valid, too. Cats may have egos the size of the Eiffel Tower, but it’s not like they don’t deserve it.
And it’s all worth it.
Cat love is absolutely tough love. Sometimes, I’m a little bit concerned that cats and their owners are in toxic relationships with one another. But nah, it’s fine. Probably.
Understandable.
You ever hear a cat meow and go, “yeah, I feel that?” Because it’s absolutely the right response to any cat that meows for no reason. It’s the right response for any cat that meows for an actual reason, too.
The more, the merrier.
Why do we worry so much about life and taxes and all the world’s problems, when we could just adopt a dozen cats and be happy? Or hang around a dozen stray cats and be happy. More cats equals more happiness, after all.
Inquiring minds need to know.
It’s pretty interesting, watching what cats do when their humans are away. And obviously, watching cat videos is just as valid of a reason to not hang out with your friends as celebrating your cat’s birthday.
He’s just in a mood.
The funny thing about cats is, they’re just so moody. This cat will probably bounce back and win a fight at some point, but you have to let him mope about it. Let him feel his feelings.
And he won’t respond, either.
Cats straight up don’t care about the names we give them. You could name a cat Pizza Bucket Cantaloupe Forest and call it that every single day, and the cat wouldn’t be phased in the slightest. That’s why so many cats have such crazy names, I think.
They want what they want.
Cats love two things: the boxes their toys came in, and random junk you leave laying around. Is there even a point in buying expensive cat toys? Like, besides getting a box that your cat can play in.
And we love our garbage gremlins.
Cat people aren’t elitist; they’re in constant pain. Mostly from the scratches their perfect little garbage gremlins give them on a daily basis. But hey, as long as they have all their shots, it’s all good.
I always thought the stork brought them.
I love that question because there’s an implication that you could’ve given birth to a cat. Or a dog, for that matter. Like, what methods of obtaining pets are there that don’t include adoption of some sort?
That’s… a really good point.
In reality, no cat has a reason to hate Mondays the way Garfield hates Mondays. It’s not like he has work to do, or obligations to attend to. But not wanting to admit you love your human is the cat way, I think.
But would they text back?
If only we could text our pets and tell them how much we love them. But modern technology hasn’t advanced that far yet. I don’t know why we’re messing with AI and space travel when we should figure out a way to translate human language into cat language.
