No one’s family is perfect — anyone could tell you that!
Just look at what happened to the Duggars or any of the past fails of the Kardashian-Jenner sisters.
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You just never know what goes on behind closed doors. Sadly, us regular folk aren’t much better, either. This was made evident in a viral Reddit thread where people shared the toxic things that were disguised as normal in their families.
Never talking about issues and problems
Instead, things just keep getting swept under the rug. This helps no one and can even result in life-threatening situations, like this Redditor’s family and their medical issues.
They wrote that everyone in their bloodline has this goofy nook in their heart valves. But no one talked about it until four people died from it.
Not trusting people who aren‘t family
“Don’t tell anyone anything about what goes on here. You don’t need friends. You don’t need to leave the house unless we give you express permission, which we never will. Sorta the same way a cult runs, you know?” – u/ NeverEnoughMuppets
Only pointing out each others’ flaws and never giving credit for achievements
This is an extremely toxic mentality to have. It makes people struggle to accept their accomplishments, like this one person who wrote that they don’t feel like they earned their successes, or that it’s valuable.
Gossiping about the failures of other people
“Best part is, people who gossip make you feel like you’re on the same team against everyone else, but you just know that the second you’re not there they will do exactly the same to you and gossip about you behind your back.” – u/ jjjhjhh
No one keeps a secret
You could tell one person one thing and before you know it, everyone in your family knows it, and even family friends, too.
This makes it extremely hard to trust people because if you can’t trust your own family, who can you trust?
Expecting perfection
“My dad having very high expectations of me and pressuring me a lot to the point where I felt worthless despite having perfect grades, because I felt like I could do even better if I just tried, causing me to develop a fairly severe inferiority complex.” – u/deleted
Mental illnesses not being taken seriously
When parents don’t take mental health seriously, they are failing their children.
This person wrote that the number of conditions they had nearly tripled from their parents accusing them of faking things just to get attention.
Screaming
“When I was a kid the screaming was normal. I didn’t realise until later it was mostly due to how stressed mum was, and how at my best friends house, it was because of drug issues from his stepmum. At least not until I was older and found out most families actually talk to each other instead of just yelling or screaming at everyone.” – u/deleted
That kids shouldn’t interfere when adults are talking
This can backfire, big time. It makes a person feel like they don’t have a voice and that they’re a major inconvenience.
It caused this one Redditor to not feel comfortable talking to other adults as an adult. Great job, Mom and Dad!
You have to love and respect those who you’re related to
“They basically use family as a way to force toxic people to be close with us. Sorry that I don’t want to be at my mom’s at the same time as my brother who is actively using and just overdosed last month, but then we’re the [expletive] for not wanting to associate with them right?” – u/ Rum_BunnyX3
That your pain is irrelevant because others have it worse
The longer people discount your feelings and the pain you’re going through, the shorter it takes before you do the same. It’s incredibly damaging to a person’s psyche and their view of reality.
The wrong way to raise children
“I was raised around a ‘children are to be seen not heard’ environment and its caused me major anxiety and social issues as an adult. I thought it was normal as a kid. But as I got older I realized how truly awful it is to raise a child like that.” – u/deleted
Deep-rooted misogyny
One Redditor’s dad has this, big time. He wouldn’t teach them how to do anything other than cooking and cleaning. For instance, he wouldn’t even teach them to drive and when they said they wanted to become a police officer, he said that they wouldn’t be able to handle the violence.
Talking badly about the children while they’re in earshot
“When my parents were angry or disappointed in me they would sit in the living room and talk about me as if I wasn’t within earshot. Always in a way that made me out to be a stupid idiot. In retrospect it was typically over small disagreements that could have just been worked out if they talked to me directly.” – u/deleted
Arranged marriages
While this works successfully for some people, that’s not the case for all. This Redditor who comes from an Indian family saw how arranged marriages can exasperate mental health issues. They have seen drug addicts, alcoholics, problem gamblers, and more as a result.
That suppressing your feelings is necessary to help others
“I was always taught to suppress my feelings because expressing any negative emotion hurts the people around me. I ended up self-harming whenever I experienced any kind of negative emotion like sadness or anger.” – u/ ratchnad
That you have to finish all the food on your plate
If not, you’re being selfish and wasteful because “there are starving children in Africa.” A lot of children who grew up with this guilt around food end up struggling with weight issues as adults.
That mom or dad can fix everything
“My mother is a ‘fixer’ but also liked to keep me sick and broken. She would fix all my issues, to the point I never learnt how to self soothe or generally adult. But she also kept my mental health untreated so that she was needed to fix me. It wasn’t until I moved out that I realised how bad it was. Now I’m about 10 years behind adulting wise and some days I’m very resentful.” – u/deleted
That family is the most important thing
“It doesn’t matter what anyone does, if they are related by blood then they are family and we should forgive and rug sweep everything they do and there shouldn’t be any consequences for their actions.” – u/ MyAntipodeanFriend
H/T: Reddit
