My mother always used to say of my grandmother, “Not only is her glass half empty, but the half that she’s got is poisoned!” I think about it a lot, as the older I get, the more cynical and miserable I seem to be getting.
Everyone knows someone like this in their life, someone who just can’t look at the positive side of anything, and always seems to be on the receiving end of some truly bad luck! With that in mind, allow me to show you 17+ things that prove the glass is empty. And, before you know it, you’ll be as cynical as me and my nan!
RELATED STORIES
“That’s not what I wanted to fall from the cabinet.”
This is just anxiety in one photograph. At that point, I think your only option is to buy some new screws, because the very idea of trying to re-sort those is giving me a headache.
“Almost finished my nectarine today and the pit broke open while I was taking a bite, revealing an ant colony, eggs and all.”
Yep, just when you thought there could be nothing out to get you in a simple nectarine, you find an ant colony in your mouth. You don’t get that with a Kit-Kat!
“Don’t park under the popular bird tree.”
Christ alive! How many birds are there in that tree? Also, are those birds eating old Taco Bell from dumpsters? I can’t think of anything that could cause birds to defecate this much!
“Wanted a relaxing bath to ease the sadness, got the most disgusting bath bomb possible that stained both me and my tub and my poor shower pouf.”
This person went on to say that this bath bomb was the “HalluEscape Geode bath bomb.” So, if you want to look like you’ve rolled around in a swamp, then head to Walmart and pick one up!
“My contacts lens felt like it was stabbing my eye this morning. Turns out there’s a hole in it.”
I don’t wear contact lenses so have absolutely no idea how common this occurrence is? How would someone even manage to do this? Perhaps this person just has exceptionally pointy eyes!
“I accidentally put my leather gloves in the washing machine.”
You could always send them to Donald Trump, I’m sure his tiny little hands would fit quite perfectly into those.
“My 12 year old sister got stuck in a swing.”
The firemen who have been called out to offer assistance here look like they’re thinking, “Years of training, for this…”
“It’s just a little ice, it’s fine.”
Well, I hope their home or car insurance covers things like this. Is that something that they cover? I literally have no idea and feel like I now need to look into ice cover for my car!
“Hand sanitizer dripped on to my brand new dress shoes.”
The person who posted this explained that this is what happens when alcohol meets alcohol-based dye. What were they doing with that hand sanitizer to get it all the way on their shoes though?
The Unlucky Bounce
You’d think that in this technologically advanced age, people would have perfected the art of the vending machine. And yet, these infuriating machines are constantly causing people stress.
“Went to Panda Express with my girlfriend for Valentine’s Day.”
I didn’t know that fast food chains were now offering relationship advice! Their advice looks about as good as their food as well.
“A stray cat scratched my doggo through our fence last night. Came home from work to this. Poor guy just wanted to make a friend.”
What a tragic tale of love and betrayal! Hopefully this poor dog learnt that all cats are terrible, terrible animals that are not to be trusted from this point on!
“My schools water, the middle bag is from the office and 2 others are from the classrooms.”
This seems like the sort of thing that this person should be sharing with their district health official, not strangers on the internet!
“Lock the dog in the RV they said, it’ll be fine they said.”
Heeeerrrreeee’s doggy!
I guess this will teach them that they shouldn’t lock their dog in alone, and that they have clearly got quite a cheap RV!
“Dropping a charcuterie board.”
Oh God, dropping that much cheese and meat is a true tragedy! I guess that the fruit getting dropped was kind of bad too… sort of.
“Didn’t know I bought an ice cream cake and put it in the fridge.”
One of the saddest sights on Earth, seeing cake and ice-cream going to waste in one heartbreaking image.
“We’ve lost one piece of the puzzle.”
A friend of mine used to love stealing an individual piece of one of my previous flatmate’s puzzles. It used to regularly cause very heated arguments!
“My astrophysicists daughter gave me a birthday card.”
Guys, can we stop shaming Pluto for not being a planet already! Look, it’s trying its best, so just leave it alone.
“Forgot my headphones on the ground while the roomba was running.”
In fairness, my headphones somehow manage to wrap themselves into this kind of a knot when I just have them in my pocket.
“Somebody dropped this from a balcony into my fresh beer.”
It took me a while to figure out that this is actually a pink Bic lighter. I guess that’s what you get for asking for a light beer!
