By this point in our lives, we’ve been warned about the common problems that life can throw at us.
So we know to change the batteries in our smoke alarms, to look both ways before crossing the street, and to tell the bear with the hat that he can’t have our “pic-a-nic” basket.
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But some problems just come straight at you from your blind side. And even though I’m not a safety mascot, I should warn you about them.
1. Well, that’s just great. I was much happier not knowing that I have to smell every drink someone gives me from now on.
That said, at least I have an excuse for my policy of never putting ice in my drink. I just wanted more drink, but this works.
2. Since most people don’t usually spike their drinks with holy water, I’m not really sure how you can keep yourself from getting possessed here.
I guess you could ask to see a manager about this, but that’ll just earn you a curse that makes your hair fall out.
3. Buying furniture without thinking about how you’re getting it home should be right up there with running with scissors.
I can already hear people say, “But that’s how they get you” about this one. But ya, sometimes you just have to give up and pay for delivery.
4. I don’t know if the problem here is the thin walls or a razor-sharp charger, but something about this just seems unsafe.
Maybe I’m kinda freaking out over nothing, but a charger should not find a way to end up stuck in a wall.
This ain’t a video game.
5. If I can’t even identify a bug, the only place I want to see it is a museum.
I want to know where this picture was taken so it can join Australia on the list of places to bring a suit of armor to.
6. I know the internet is fraught with peril, but I wouldn’t imagine that total strangers would expect me to comment on warped pictures of their faces.
People like me search for things like this for a living, so I think this guy should keep it.
7. This is impressive and it sure beats having people draw on you, but there will be tears when the sleeping guy wakes up.
Imagine waking up to a bunch of cups falling on you and not understanding why everybody’s blaming you for breaking someone’s art.
8. We’ve heard of cars driving into people’s houses, but I don’t think anyone expects one to go all the way around and invade the pool.
None of the fences or even the pool itself seem broken, so how did this happen?
Did it fall from the sky?
9. If I end up in a place where I have to chisel the toilet out before I can pee, I won’t be there for long.
I don’t even want to imagine what the shower is like. It would probably turn me into an ice sculpture.
10. It wasn’t until I saw this photo that I realized I’ve been putting way too much trust in gas station pillars.
The thought that they could just tip over has honestly never occurred to me. From now on, I’m telling them all to do their job.
11. Obviously, a hammer can break just like anything else, but what scares me is that it’s bent into a pretzel like this.
Like, is there somebody out here strong enough to bend hammers like this with their bare hands? How did this thing anger them so badly?
12. Just in case it wasn’t enough to worry about having toilet stocks and avoiding dirty floors, some maniac decided that my business is everyone’s business.
I don’t have to tell you that they’re in for some strongly worded bathroom graffiti about this shocking disrespect of my privacy.
13. OK, we might expect to deal with people claiming more space than they have on a plane, but this is going way too far.
I may have had to deal with someone falling asleep on my knee while my dad had his view of the movie blocked by some guy’s arms, but it’s hard to get too worked up about that now that I’ve seen someone experience this nightmare.
14. I feel like this sign is going to catch on before too long.
I’m also predicting that while many of its adopters will share this person’s invisible affliction, the rest really just don’t want to hear about their coworker’s weekends.
15. This may not be the first time you’ve seen this, but there’s an important lesson to learn from this case.
If the warning label on the toner cartridge says, “do not tilt,” this is all the evidence you need that it’s best to listen to it.
16. If you ever take a trip to Nepal, be on the lookout for roaming rhinos.
No seriously, it’s apparently not even that unusual for them to wander into traffic like this.
And with such a strong frame and a determined attitude, I’m afraid it doesn’t really matter whether they have the right of way.
17. As weird as this sign seems, it turns out that it’s also telling the truth.
Apparently, if you hook up the wrong drink to the wrong fountain, it takes forever to flush out what you originally had in there.
So although this machine will definitely dispense Sprite, it’ll probably by weeks before it actually looks like it. Good to know.
18. Remember, kids: Don’t buy anything from an illicit bread salesman.
Sure, that may not be something we thought we had to worry about, but can you blame me for not trusting anything from a guy with this look on his face?
19. Don’t let those smiley fries fool you, making a happy face into food is harder than it looks.
As we can see from this donut-related mishap, it’s actually very easy to turn your smiley donuts into the moans of the damned.
So that’s a neat idea for Halloween next year, at least.
20. Considering how vicious regular seagulls can be, we must take special care when the giant ones are around.
OK, fine, this is more of a case of a confusing perspective than a real monstrosity. Still, it’s always important to be prepared.
21. This is a good reminder not to underestimate how many ways transporting a bucket of snails can go wrong.
After all, it’s something that we’ll all have to do at some point in our lives, so we need to get it right.
22. I hate to break this bad news, but clogging your friend’s toilet isn’t the worst thing that can happen in their bathroom.
Just imagine having to go really bad only to find that their toilet is somehow packed with wet insulation.
Now imagine hoping incredibly hard that wet insulation is actually what you’re looking at here.
23. Even as someone who loves peanut butter, I don’t understand why this seemed like a good idea to anyone.
And if I were allergic, I’d be convinced that somebody was out to get me. They hit all of the important buttons.
This was deliberate, whatever it was.
24. I never thought I’d be grateful for the fact that I can’t sleep on planes, but here we are.
It’s too bad there aren’t any screens in the seats, or I’d flip it to one of the Elm Street movies and smile at her knowingly.
It’s for protection.
25. It’s a sadly common tale. You work hard for this degree and look forward to a bright future when suddenly, the griffin attacks.
I know it’s unfair, but the deal is that he won’t destroy the school if he gets one student from each graduating class.
26. You know, I had enough problems in my life before I found out I had to worry about the safety of adorable, fictional bears.
I’m gonna feel really silly if he saddles up next to me and says, “Relax, I’m fine. My hat just blew away.”
