Telling the truth is a big part of Church, they’re all about it in case you didn’t know…seriously, it’s like a big deal to them.
So, to prove that they’re really all about the truth, here are 16+ church signs that really put it all out on the table!
“The church in my town is always posting fantastic signs.”
Well, maybe if he had taken more than just two of each then we would still have unicorns after the lions ate them both.
“When the church cares about your s*x life…”
Judging from the tone of this signs I bet that their coffee mornings are…interesting.
“This sign needs to be in front of every church until it grabs people by the heart.”
This sounds like a dad who is knackered after coming in after a long day at work and is tired of breaking up their kid’s fights.
*Intense Breathing*
Wow, this church is really taking a different approach to motivating people to come to church than the Immaculate Heart Of Mary
“The church by my house is killing it with their signs.”
You’ve got to make sure you’re getting your daily dose of spiritual fruit, it’s crucial for getting the appropriate amount of fibre in your diet.
Always Try New Things!
I had no idea that so many church signs were so d**n thirsty! These churches need to chill the h**l out!
“This church has the right idea.”
This is pretty d**n good advice, just because you have faith doesn’t mean you don’t trust anything else whatsoever!
“Church got jokes…”
Well, that is…something to hold on to I suppose. 2020 was one h**l of a big kidney stone though, and one that I think is far from being fully out!
“I know whose church it ISN’T…”
Oh dear, someone should tell Peter he has been evicted. I’ve heard he has one h**l of a tempter though so be careful.
“The guy who makes the motivational signs for a church in my neighborhood seems to have run out of ideas… maybe he’s just not feeling it this week.”
I guess, in response I only have to say… Blah blah blah, nah you’re alright actually.
“Someone flipped the letters on the sign of a church in my hometown.”
I do not think that I will be alone in saying that I am completely fine with this message as it is!
“This church isn’t messing around.”
Sure, this sounds like you are going to be getting off lightly, but they will be baptising you with boiling hot tar!
“Sign outside the Welsh Church on La Trobe St in Melbourne, VIC.”
Is this really true? I’m really not a fan of the Mad Max films so don’t know enough about them to dispute this, but it doesn’t seem right!
“During a heat wave…”
I love that they had to put the “NO” in “NO Bingo” in all capitals. It’s as though some terrible thing happened at bingo and this pastor is just not ready to get back into bingo yet.
Stay Vigilant!
So…is Jesus there in the bathroom with us? Bit weird like, but whatever keeps people washing their hands…
“My local church put this up recently…”
At a glance I thought this was fine, but look at the spelling of what is meant to be “Hygenesis,” and try to say it out loud, it will break your brain.
“One way to be with the lord…”
Yep, that is definitely going to get people to come into your church willingly. Definitely doesn’t read like a threat at all!
“A church in my town has been Rick Rolling everyone for months now.”
Sure, God is meant to be omnipotent, but one thing God clearly doesn’t know is the appropriate order to the lyrics to Never Gonna Give You Up.
“Church had its air conditioning units stolen…”
I mean, of course it is hot where they are going? They wouldn’t have stolen it if their house wasn’t too hot!
“Local church with the real ‘Good News’ this Sunday.”
And hate, hate leads to suffering…so speaketh the strangely-mobile-when-it-suits-him green goblin man.
Last Updated on January 5, 2021 by Paddy Clarke