There’s nothing quite like a little family drama to help make your special day all the more stress-inducing.
Planning a wedding is already hard enough without having to deal with opinions and suggestions flying every which way, courtesy of your usually well-meaning but largely unhelpful family members. And as soon as you make a decision that they don’t like, you can bet you’re going to be hearing about it.
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Whether your require their input or not.
The guest list can be particularly tricky terrain for a soon-to-be married couple to navigate.
Once you think you’ve secured a well-rounded but reasonable list of attendees, that’s when good old mom, dad, or maybe even Aunt Kathy swoops in to give their two cents and offer up another few dozen names of people they think you really ought to be inviting.
Like your mom’s neighbor’s niece who is already flying in for big day and therefor must be invited, or your dad’s golfing buddies who can never remember your name but who obviously can’t miss such an important event in your life.
Indeed, our family members can be quite opinionated when it comes to deciding who you’re inviting.
But, I’d argue they’re even worse when they find out who you’ve chosen to omit.
Like, for instance, if they discover you’ve nixed dear old grandma from the day altogether, you’re going to be hearing some choice words from mom and dad. And realistically, probably grandma as well.
One bride was faced with such family drama when she made the difficult decision to cut granny from the list of her wedding guests.
I know what you’re thinking: how could anyone ever dream of keeping their grandma from attending such an occasion? Who would do that? Who would have the audacity? Certainly not someone with a heart, that’s for sure!
Well, before you’re so quick to throw this woman to the wolves, perhaps you should hear her out first.
The bride-to-be took to the subreddit r/AmITheAsshole to explain her side in an effort to find out whether she wrong to cut grandma out completely.
In her post , she begins by explaining her big day is steadily coming up, and her 75-year-old grandma has been expressing great excitement at watching her beloved granddaughter walk down the aisle.
The feeling was definitely mutual, as the woman explained she was equally as excited to have her grandmother there to witness her marry the love of her life.
In fact, she and her grandma actually have quite a special relationship.
As the first-born grandchild, this woman has a little advantage over the rest of her siblings and cousins. While not necessarily accusing her grandma of picking favorites, it’s certainly safe to say that being her very first grandchild ever, this woman holds a very dear spot in grandma’s heart.
So what could ever posess her to uninvite granny? Well, we’ll getting to that.
The woman’s sister is her maid of honor for the big day, but what’s important to note is that her sister also just happens to be gay.
Certainly that’s not a big deal in today’s society. But for some older, more ignorant generations, such a revelation can be enough to make you say some pretty ugly, hurtful things, even to your own relatives.
I think you know where I’m going with this, but I digress.
It was only a few days ago that this woman’s grandma found out her other granddaughter, the woman’s sister, is gay.
Adding fuel to this homophobic fire is the fact that the sister has a girlfriend who’s also been invited to the wedding.
Feeling positively furious, the grandmother approached the bride-to-be and flat-out told her that either she uninvites the sister’s girlfriend, or granny won’t be attending the wedding at all.
Faced with such an ultimatum, the bride knew exactly what needed to be done.
For her, the choice was simple. As she recalled in her post , “I immediately said that if this is the way she thinks, I don’t want her there.”
So in a way, grandma got exactly what she wanted. Now she wouldn’t have to see her granddaughter or her granddaughter’s girlfriend at the wedding… since she just lost her invite.
Of course, once everyone found out about the situation, the bride’s family couldn’t contain their outrage.
They’ve approached her and her groom and demanded that they reconsider letting grandma come to the wedding.
In fact, they’ve told the bride that it’s the sister and her girlfriend who should have been invited, not grandma. But she’s been firm in her decision and isn’t about to relent, not matter how upset it’s made her family.
Ever since the pandemic hit last year, the woman and her sister have become incredibly close.
The sister and her girlfriend actually lost their place and moved in with the bride and her groom. In that time, they’ve all become good friends with one another, and the bride said she’s even closer with her sister than she is with her grandmother. So when it came time to deciding who to uninvite, frankly it was a no-brainer.
Of course, that hasn’t made things any easier, and now that she’s facing such backlash from so many people, the bride has implored the jury of Reddit to determine once and for all if she’s the asshole in this situation.
The jury was unanimous in their verdict of “not the asshole.”
Many people applauded the woman for sticking up to her grandma and her entire family because that certainly wouldn’t be an easy thing to do.
“It doesn’t matter if the girlfriend is a total stranger to you! Stick with your principles,” this person wrote. “You will probably feel better deep down in your soul knowing you did what was right rather than feeling false on the day.”
Others pointed out that the bride shouldn’t beat herself up over this, since she technically did nothing wrong.
After all, she was doing exactly as her grandma asked. She was given a choice, and she made it.
“You are NOT disinviting Granny. She is DISINVITING HERSELF,” this user explained. “She is welcome to come, she just has to be willing to accept the presence of a gay girlfriend. This is NOT on you. This is on granny.”
However, there were some who thought perhaps the woman should extend her grandmother a wedding invite anyway.
While not necessarily agreeing with how the grandmother is behaving, those users suggest that the bride leave the “attend or don’t attend” decision up to granny to keep the heat off herself.
Since her original post went viral, the bride has come back and offered eager users an update on the situation.
She ended up telling her sister and her sister’s girlfriend what had happened and discovered that their grandmother, along with several other relatives, had been bullying the pair online. In fact, all those family members have been downright hateful and abusive in their viral tirades.
“So I’m no longer questioning who the asshole here is,” the woman finished. “Thank you to everyone who believes my granny can change and I will keep trying with her AFTER the wedding.”
What do you think of this situation? Let us know in the comments!
h/t: Reddit
