Breaking up with someone is never fun and rarely happens amicably. Just as in the game of life, there are winners and losers with every breakup, and often the hardest aspect of ending a relationship is the idea of being single again .
But every once in a while, you come out of something so messy that it makes you rejoice for the single life. With that in mind, here are 15 messy breakups that will have you feeling happy to be single.
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This is why it’s never a good idea to drunk dial.
I really can’t tell if this tweet is funny or just plain sad. All I know for certain is that I sure am glad it didn’t happen to me.
What a beautiful simile.
William Shakespeare himself couldn’t have penned a more poetic comparison. The only thing worse would be if you both matched with each other and begat the fresh hell that was your relationship all over again.
In case you were having second thoughts about leaving — don’t.
“met[sic] the girl my ex has been dating for the last 8 months and texted him “it was so nice meeting your new girlfriend!” and he replied “idk if i[sic] would call her my ‘girlfriend.’” and i think it is beautiful that people absolutely never change .” – Twitter @danadonnelly
BOOM! Roasted.
That’s actually a pretty good burn — and as you should! Living well is the best revenge and you can’t do that if you’re still hung up on somebody who was completely wrong for you right from the start.
I second this sentiment.
There’s more truth in this statement than the majority of us would care to admit. We all like to think that we’re the hero in our own story, but sometimes — we can also be the villain.
Self-deprecation is the first step forward in the healing process.
This is a classic case of the “tears of a clown.” It might sound a little sad, but I firmly believe that laughing about a bad situation, whatever it may be, is the first step on the road to recovery.
OK — but why are you still talking to your ex?
“My ex said his new girlfriend was scrolling through Facebook & saw one of my tweets . She showed it to him because it made her laugh. Now he has to live with the knowledge that she thinks I’m funny even though he never thought I was. I feel so powerful right now.” – Twitter @roxiqt
I can literally hear these words coming out of my mom’s mouth.
Divorced parents are fun, aren’t they? They completely destroy their children’s very foundation of what’s supposed to constitute a loving and trusting relationship, and then they get to guilt you for the rest of your life about who you’re going to spend the holidays with!
That has to count for something, right?
I don’t know if that’s strengthening you’re argument, pal. It sounds to me as if you simply thought you’d find greener pastures and wound up playing with yourself in a mud pit.
There’s a snake in my boot!
I don’t know if I’ve personally ever seen a better example of “You’re dead to me.” Hopefully, watching Toy Story together wasn’t your thing, because if anyone ever ruined that for me — I don’t know how I’d recover.
A bold ask if ever there was one.
“My ex’s little sister used my Netflix for 4 years after we broke up . One day I cancelled[sic] the subscription and then I got a text from her asking if something was wrong with “our account”????” – Twitter @RussoKatie
You never really knew me at all.
Sometimes you ask the universe for a sign; some sort of assurance that you’ve done the right thing. I don’t know if I’ve ever known the universe to speak through Willy Wonka candy, but I wish it would more often.
It’s not me, it’s you.
Somebody call the fire department because you just got BURNED! Real talk, I hope your ex sees this and discovers firsthand how much better off you are without him. Maybe it will motivate him to work on his conversation skills.
Ellie Schnitt is playing 3-D chess.
Dang, you came at Mike hard with that one, Ellie. Mike must have seriously messed up to make you engage in that level of psychological warfare. Clearly, you aren’t a woman to be trifled with.
There’s collateral damage in every breakup.
“Well[sic] my ex canceled the Spotify premium I was using which unfortunately means I am revoking her Dads[sic] access to my Disney +. Good guy. Hate to see him caught in the crossfire.” – Twitter @YoungTiempo
