When Brother And SIL Demand Larger Room, Guy Asks If He's A Jerk For Refusing

In the great big mess that is 2020, many people are losing their jobs, which can easily cascade to losing their home too.

Many of those who are lucky enough to be in a more stable situation are doing what they can to help friends and family in dire straits.

But one family who offered their spare room to family members in need got a lot more drama than they bargained for.

After a blow-up involving her boyfriend, brother, and sister-in-law (SIL), one woman asked the popular subreddit r/AmItheAsshole to weigh in.

Note: Due to some Reddit confusion, the original user account was deleted, but she later shared an update under a new account called "ThrowAITABiggerroom" so that's the name I'll use going forward.

ThrowAITABiggerroom explains that she and her partner own their home and have an infant son.

Unsplash | Kelly Sikkema

When her SIL lost her job, ThrowAITABiggerroom's brother asked her if the couple could move into their spare room for a bit.

ThrowAITABiggerroom and her boyfriend talked it over and said yes, but with a few upfront expectations. The couple would not pay rent, but would contribute to the increased utility bills and buy their own groceries.

They also had to put all their own furniture in storage, since the spare room already had a bed and dressers and there was no room for anything more.

Even though the brother and his wife agreed to these terms upfront, the complaints about the small size of the spare room began as soon as they moved in.

ThrowAITABiggerroom tried to give them the benefit of the doubt. The couple is used to having more space and was going through a rough time adjusting to their new reality.

And then the baby started crying and when ThrowAITABiggerroom opened the nursery door to check on him, her brother demanded to know why she hadn't moved the baby to the spare room and given them the slightly larger space.

"I told him I’m not moving my son and all his things into a different room when the spare bedroom is perfectly fine for the two of them as long as they don’t try to move their entire house into one room."

Unsplash | Sidekix Media

Things were tense and then after a week or so, the brother insisted that the baby kept him awake, so ThrowAITABiggerroom and her partner should move into the spare room instead, giving the master bedroom to their guests.

He called her selfish for not doing so, and she told him off, saying that he was being demanding and ungrateful and could deal with it or leave.

"I’m asking if I’m TA because my mother called and told me I’m an asshole for not giving the married couple the big bedroom with the connected bathroom."

Reddit's ruling to this was firm: she was Not The Asshole (NTA) in this situation. Which...duh.

After reading the responses, ThrowAITABiggerroom was able to talk with her partner and they decided that it was time to tell the other couple to leave entirely.

She told the Redditors to expect an update afterwards.

And *wow* did it ever escalate.

ThrowAITABiggerroom had to delete her original account because the SIL found the original post and barged into the couple's bedroom. After she got violent, ThrowAITABiggerroom's partner intervened, which is when the brother appeared and accused them of abusing his wife.

In the ensuing fight, the baby began to scream and while trying to protect her son, ThrowAITABiggerroom called the police.

The couple was arrested — and then failed the standard drug tests.

Unsplash | Bill Oxford

To make matters worse, it turns out that the whole family knew that they were drug addicts and didn't want to deal with housing them, so they chose not to inform ThrowAITABiggerroom of the facts and leave her, her partner, and their infant son in a potentially dangerous situation.

Part of me is thinking that the brother's attitude may have a natural source, here.

Thankfully, this makes the whole eviction issue much more black and white.

"I'm glad that you're free of them. I would gather their crap and drop it off at your moms house," recommended ForgotMyNameAgain6.

"She and the rest of the family knew your brother and SIL were doing drugs, didn't share that with you, and tried to guilt you into letting them stay with your family - they deserve to deal with the flak now."

Amen to that!

But what do you think?

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