Parents Expect A Gift From A Woman Who Wasn't Even Invited To Their Baby Shower

In the past, they were usually women-only events where the mom-to-be's closest friends and family would celebrate the new arrival, play baby-themed games, and buy presents.

Nowadays, most expecting parents create a gift registry ahead of their new arrival's birth to let friends and family know what they actually want and need.

For any big moment such as new babies and weddings, we can't deny that creating the registry is the most fun. You get to pick out everything you want and other people get to buy it for you. What could be better?!?

Many people register for the expensive things that they don't feel like buying themselves. When it comes to babies, this could be things like strollers, high-chairs, cribs, and all of those other "big ticket" items that are high in price.

When going to the baby shower, some people decide to stick to the registry while others decide to do their own, unique present. Sometimes, people who don't even go to the baby shower end up purchasing something from the registry, too.

Some people feel that if they were not included in invites to the baby shower, they don't have to buy a gift for the baby and soon-to-be mother. Others, however, disagree.

One person recently wrote into the popular Reddit subreddit, Am I The Asshole asking if they were wrong for not purchasing a gift for their sister-in-law's baby shower when, in fact, they were not invited to the event.

"Brother's wife (SIL) is pregnant with their first child and had a baby shower over the weekend. I was not invited to the shower but my brother sent me a gift registry. I didn't buy anything because I'm not invited so why should I buy a gift?" she asked.

"My SIL asked me what I got for her on [Monday] after the shower and I said I'm not getting anything. She teared up and asked me why. I simply said that I was not invited so I didn't think I [needed] to buy a gift. I did buy a 'congrats on your baby' card for them," she added.

"My brother is angry at me and my SIL is apparently really upset. SIL and I don't get along at all so they think I am doing this to be rude and retaliatory. I think its rude to not invite guests to your baby shower but still expect them to get you a gift.

"My brother says I'm immediate family so the etiquette rules don't apply and I should not have said it so bluntly to his wife's face. I said I'm happy for him and his wife but I'm not getting a gift for them. Then I hung up," they said.

"She doesn’t like you enough to invite you to the shower but does like you enough to take your money? I can’t even believe the cheek," one person wrote.

"It's rude as hell to not invite someone to a party and still expect them to buy you a gift," someone else added.

"[OP] is not attached to that event. They're attached to the wider event of being the babe's family, which when it's a first baby it's not uncommon to be gearing up to get and do stuff with/for them, but that's out of excitement and graciousness, not expectation," another person commented.

"It’s the same thing as not inviting someone to a birthday party, but still expecting a gift. Not to mention how rude it is [to] assume someone’s going to buy you a gift," said one user.

She added that she didn't have the best relationship with her sister-in-law, but would have purchased a gift if she had been invited to the party.

"Just wanted to add that if they had invited me I would have attended and bought a gift. They didn't so I don't see why they would expect me to get them a gift," she said

"Even ignoring all context, they're mad at you for not getting them a gift. That's not reasonable in the slightest.

"They expect you to get a gift, yet don't think you're good enough for their shower? You're amazing for not feeling insulted or getting mad at that in the first place, and they have no right to be mad at you," they wrote.

What do you think? Are gifts mandatory even if you weren't invited to the shower?