Sleeping in is an incredible luxury, but it's exactly that: a luxury.
There's nothing quite like having zero responsibilities on a Saturday morning and just staying cozy and dozy for hours in bed. But the key there is "zero responsibilities."
As we grow older, we collect responsibilities as much as we do wrinkles, and we shouldn't expect to keep on sleeping until noon every weekend.
His reaction prompted her to turn to the Reddit community r/AmItheAsshole for help figuring out who was actually in the wrong that day.
Having created her account specifically to ask the question anonymously, she has since deleted the username, so for clarity I'll call her M for Mom, and her husband D for Dad.
Since then, he's been in the habit of staying in bed until noon or later every Saturday and Sunday. Even if he wakes up earlier, he won't get out of bed.
Though it's been a few years since he worked late or overnight shifts, the habit has stuck and he "would throw a fit if [M] woke him up."
So M has taken to leaving the house with their daughter those mornings so that he can sleep.
This was already pretty annoying for her, but things came to a head when their daughter fell and broke her arm at the playground.
"This is the first time seeing my daughter in pain like this so I was kind of distraught and panicking and I called my husband a few times first before calling [911]."
Finally, M called her sister, who picked them up and took them to her house.
It wasn't until noon that D finally got up and checked his phone, which he said had been on vibrate the whole time. When he came to get them, M told him the whole story and "the first thing he said was 'you're not blaming me are you?'"
Though his phone was on vibrate, most people know that's hardly silent, especially if the phone is sitting on a hard surface, like a nightstand. Not noticing it at first might make sense, but multiple calls over multiple hours is pushing credibility.
"He told me I was being unreasonable and it wasn't his fault he didn't know, and went to basically blame me for not watching over our daughter properly."
"I'm conflicted, and I may be the asshole for being angry with him, but I don't know if I am for wanting him to stop sleeping in? Am I an asshole for wanting this."
"It's not wrong for your husband to lie in, but he's a parent and a husband now, and is Next of Kin for you both. You and your daughter both should not have found him unreachable in an emergency, especially for 4 hours straight. What would have happened if you'd been hurt too?" said RedditGoldDigga.
So no. She doesn't get equivalent time.
"While you do some chores does not count," said D-Juice. "You're not his childminder and housekeeper. If he wants his lie-ins he has to make up the time he steals from you to have them."
Robred115 said, "ESH. He's sleeping in on his day off. It's perfectly reasonable for him to do. BUT it is unacceptable for him to not pick up his phone during an emergency involving your child. Tell him to turn his ringer on. I feel like tht [sic] will solve most of the issues."
If sleeping in on weekends is so important to D, then he should be willing to give M similar time to herself to do whatever she wants.
Sleeping in didn't make D the asshole in this situation, but his refusal to allow communication during an emergency and his willingness to blame M for the accident does.
What do you think of this situation? Give us your two cents in the comments.
