We like to say “weird” like it’s a bad thing. But personally, I see weirdness as the spice of life. I know that’s supposed to be “variety,” but I’m weird. See where I’m going with this? I’m saying that weird is good, and you should embrace that. If you need some help, try these pictures on for size.
1. When they’re like “the ice cream machine is broken,” and you tell them that you’re okay to wait.
And since George Washington cannot tell a lie, he ended up duty-bound to stand there until that McFlurry was ready. And, like most McFlurrys, it wasn’t actually worth it after all.
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2. This must have been what it was like to live in “Pleasantville.”
Is that movie still a cultural touchstone that people can relate to? Tobey Maguire? Reese Witherspoon? No? Just me, then? Okay.
3. Because nothing is less suspicious than trying to walk out with whole breadsticks.
Granted, I thought that we were talking about, like, a whole loaf of East Side Mario’s bread here. Just try to imagine how much sugar you could smuggle in one of those bad boys.
4. This 100% sounds like someone was asked to fill in the rest of this map on a Friday afternoon and couldn’t have been bothered in the slightest.
Imagine trying to get directions to this neighborhood. It would be like someone was hitting you with one of those “Who’s On First?” routines. You’d probably just give up and go home.
5. If this is supposed to be motivating me, I’ve gotta tell you, it’s not working.
Seriously, it kind of looks like someone tried to blend an Olympic relay team with Pepe the Frog or something.
6. Now here’s a dude who has learned how to embrace the gimmick.
I’m still a little confused, though. He’s got four stripes on his shoes. If you’re not going to go all-out and get Adidas for your wedding, then what kind of a precedent are you setting?
7. I’ve got some questions.
If I want this grilled cheese (and I do), then do I have to exclusively drink milk? Or am I allowed to have it alongside my beer or soda or whatever?
8. This is apparently real.
I posted this in a work groupchat and one of the editors pointed out that “Monopoly was initially a game meant to teach people about the exploitative nature of the rentier class and of capitalism in general. Good to see it’s coming back to its roots, if only accidentally.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself, so I won’t try.
9. Who in the world thought this was the way to deal with the situation?
Like, imagine the thought process here. We have a pipe that’s sticking out, so let’s just clone the guy on the wall and have him cover it? What?
10. Man, inflation has gotten out of control.
I am trying for the life of me to figure out how this could have jacked up the price, like 110 times over, but I really just don’t get it. I guess that’s going on the old credit card.
11. It doesn’t matter what everybody else says. You have to be yourself.
I am still getting mixed messages here, though. Are you a bus? A lemon? A train? What’s the real story here? Actually nah, it’s none of my business. You’re obviously still trying to figure everything out.
12. Whoa there. It looks like we’ve got a real rebel on our hands.
Here’s my next question. Why, exactly, does your soup look so much like the dregs of a cup of really bad coffee? Are you doing okay over there?
13. I don’t want to be that guy, but I’m pretty sure that this isn’t how that works.
I mean, sure, you can hit start on the “Yes” or the “No” option, but, again, that’s really not how these things typically go.
14. Pardon me while I yeet this cake into a train.
I mean, I’m no engineer, so it’s not really my place to say that that’s probably not good for the train. But that’s probably not good for the train, right?
15. I bet she knows all the tricks for smuggling sugar out of breadsticks.
You see people stunt with their clothing all the time, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone rep as hard as a woman with a denim Olive Garden jacket. I’m just so impressed.
