Kids can be a source of unparalleled joy for so many people! However, they can also have the tendency to be a little on the vexing side from time to time.
And, with this in mind, here are 14+ moments that make me glad I don’t have kids!
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“My daughter got a camera for a birthday. One of the first things she did with it was to barge in the bathroom and take a pic of me taking a dump.”
Wow, that’s a very private photograph that she has captured there! I can’t say that I’d want this one going in the family album!
“My dad used to take some of the best pictures of me as a kid.”
As much as I love this picture, I just cannot look at the way this kid is holding those strings as it makes my brain hurt.
“How kids cough…”
I just had to put this one in, as the way kids cough is just horrific. Also, this year, in particular, it is especially horrifying!
“This kid hit his bike against a car. In Taiwan, any traffic accident requires a breathalyzer test.”
Damn kids are always getting hammered on juice boxes then cruising around on the roads, putting sensible people’s lives at risk! I can’t stand it!
“My favorite photo I’ve ever taken is of a kid tripping into $100k car.”
This photo is amazingly enjoyable so long as that is neither your car nor your kid!
“Bought my daughter a gaming chair…”
I’d expect this kind of nonsense from a cat, but not from a child! That cannot be comfortable?!
“My little sister saw this and went ‘Nope, not my job!'”
That cat is just looking around as if to say, “You really think they’re going to believe that?”
“When my wife talks about having another baby, I like to remind her how painful breastfeeding was…works everytime.”
The person who posted this went on to add, “My wife will just look back at baby photos and say ‘aww, i miss holding a little baby.’ I remember the sleepless nights and changing dirty diapers.”
“My 22yo daughter wanted a label maker for Christmas. Didn’t know why, but woke up to labels like this all over the house.”
If anything is going to put you off your morning bowl of cereal, it is probably descriptions like these!
“All the crap my son has put down the air conditioning vent in the last 6 years.”
This child has one hell of a weird obsession with measuring spoons! What kid is this obsessed with measuring spoons?
“A letter from my daughter…”
That is quite sweet I guess, although being called “weird” and “stupid” doesn’t exactly scream nice, does it?
Leaks In The House!
This beleaguered parent explained, “My kids came in and told me there was water coming from the laundry room. They said it looked like it started at the washer. I rushed in to find this. Buncha comedians in my house…”
“My son found some ‘stickers’ in the bathroom.”
There were quite a few people in the comments who claimed that they had done the same or a similar thing when they were kids, with one user writing, “I once threw all my Mom’s tampons in the toilet to watch them expand in water. Had no idea what they were.”
“My son is suspicious about the whole birthday idea…”
There is something very unsettling about this kid! I would be worried that deep down he is plotting my demise!
“If my daughter keeps doing her own eye makeup, child protective services are gonna come knocking pretty soon!”
Yeah, I think that this parent needs to keep a watchful eye on their kid’s eyes after this!
“I guess my son thinks I need to lose weight.”
Again, this one is actually very nice at its core! However, kids really can cut you in unique ways without realizing it!
“My toddler found a white ink pad and immediately turned into Saruman.”
Wow, I guess that this could have been so much worse, but it’s still spectacularly hard to look at.
“My 7yo son was excited to show off his clay pirate boat.”
I wonder where they displayed this masterpiece in their home? I’m sure it started some very interesting conversations with guests!
“When people ask what it’s like having kids, I just show them this.”
This is peak monstrosity. On the bright side, you can cut up the uneaten parts and bake yourself some chips to not share with your demon kids.
“Last year my 3 yo daughter convinced her camp counselors that it was her birthday.”
In detailing her trickery, the uploader explained, “She got cake, they sang to her and treated her like a princess all day. Her birthday was 4 months away. We only found out about it when we found this photo in her backpack weeks later.”
“My nine-year-old son (home alone with his teenage sister) ordered a pizza without asking. Typed this in the instruction field.”
I’m imagining the pizza place thinking an adult placed this order. “This guy must be really insecure about his pumpkins.”
“My 10yo son wanted me to share with all of you the suit of armor he’s been constructing.”
It’s looking pretty good, but I’m more worried about why he feels the need to make this. What is he preparing for?
“Our daughter pulled a knife on the hired princess at her 3rd birthday party.”
“You think you can waltz on in here and show me up? No, I’m the prettiest princess at this party.”
“Daughter wanted Barbie centaur …Introducing Barbitaur.”
She looks pretty badass. This would be a great new direction for Barbie, teaching young children how to trample their enemies.
“How my daughter secures her favorite slices in the fridge.”
This is genius, but it would only work with pizza and, like, cake. Any other leftovers are still a free-for-all.
“My 6ft tall son (13) thinks it’s funny to put things just out of my reach.”
I mean, he’s right. It is kind of funny. In fact, the shorter you are, the funnier it gets.
“My [son’s] letter [to] Santa….I think he knows.”
I’d be more worried about his wish for immortality than whether or not he’s figured out if Santa’s real.
“My son didn’t smile once while at the pumpkin patch for the first [time].. he was very skeptical.”
Can you really blame him? Pumpkins are weird as hell, shaped all funny and whatnot.
“Checked on my daughter to see how school was going […].”
By the looks of it, it’s going pretty well!
“My 11 year old son ran out of candy so my 9 year old daughter started a candy business to sell him her candy. (Daisy is her cat btw).”
Your daughter already understands the concept of supply and demand, she’ll grow up to be a successful businesswoman.
“My daughter discovered the candy canes on the tree are plastic.”
This is a lot of emotion for plastic. You’d think someone poisoned her.
“Came outside to check on my son who said he was going to take a nap. I think he’s living his best life.”
It looks like his dreams are starting to manifest in the real world. Come back later and he’ll have the whole outfit on.
“My son after being told he couldn’t taste the dishwasher detergent…”
Christ alive, I can hear this image through the screen, and it is giving me a headache!
“My son’s Kindergarten priorities were on point.”
He’s not wrong. It is okay to eat hotdogs in the bathtub, keep living your truth, buddy.
“My kid took the batteries out of the remote then asked me to change the channel.”
In fairness, this is something that I would do to this day! I love the little snarky face as well!
