The best way to set someone up for failure is to drop something major in their lap and give them hectic instructions on how to deal with it.
Without time to let them understand what’s going on, they’ll be halfway down the street before they realize you gave them a bowling ball and told them it’s late for daycare.
Just pretend you did that, OK?
Anyway, we’re not nearly that sadistic, so take your time as you process these pics.
1. Rather than giving myself a headache by trying to figure out how these storks got here, I’m just gonna focus on the look they’re giving us.
“Do you mind? That ‘wark’ sound we made clearly meant that this lavatory is occupied. How frightfully rude.”
2. If I’m gonna get any special touches, I really need to be part of the planning committee.
Actually, how many people planned this? Is this just the way that fortune cookie companies slide into our DMs?
More like cringe into our DMs .
3. I’m curious as to how they did this, but I won’t even try to explore that until I find out what this even is.
Oh, har, har. Yes, I know it’s a truck, but what is it…being? Is it the snake from the flag on the back, or Godzilla?
Why?
4. If every movie I’ve seen about mysterious items has taught me anything, it’s that everyone should probably leave this right where it is.
The chance of playing magical pranks on people with a yellow zoot suit on isn’t worth the risk that this is a wearable version of Jumanji .
5. Unless somebody’s way better at Photoshop than I’m giving them credit for, we’re either dealing with an invisible schoolgirl or a living uniform.
I guess the surefire test is to say something like, “Are you an anime?” If it walks away in disgust, it’s a person.
6. Oh yeah, I see perfectly square holes in lakes all the time. It isn’t the end times at all.
They give you the warning about physically impossible trap doors right after the one about boiling water before you drink it.
7. Haha, is it just me or do their facial expressions fit what’s going on here better than they did before?
Although that might just be because giant Kevin Hart looks a lot like the proud parent that Shaq is a little embarrassed by.
8. No matter what curse is on this thing, I actually kind of like it, but it’s also really obvious why the kids don’t.
Even the best-case scenario for how they got those teeth would still have the kids regretting their belief in the Tooth Fairy.
9. You know, I thought that “trouble stuff” Oreos didn’t sound right, so I’m glad we can confirm that this thing isn’t the real deal.
Oddly enough, it wasn’t the “trouble” part that tipped me off. Oreo just never spells “stuff” with two F’s.
10. There’s no easy way to learn that you’ve been going out with a centaur all along, but hopefully her bae can adjust.
Hmm, does it make it better or worse that the “horse” part is actually a dog?
I think “better,” but what do you guys think?
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11. There’s getting a flat and then there’s what happens when a tire decides that its lifelong dream is to be a firework.
I had a pair of pants that did this when I dropped to my knees too quickly, but I don’t get what happened here.
12. I’m not usually one to turn down surprise spaghetti, but the fact that it’s served in a shirt makes me a little suspicious.
Does anybody know this guy? I’d like a little confirmation that this is legit before temptation makes me eat poisoned shirt-pasta.
13. Either I’m really not appreciating the job that space blanket is doing or we’re looking at a superhero with a very low shelf life.
They’ll have no problem protecting their secret identity, but that’s getting caught in something at worst and obstructing their vision at best.
14. Let it never be said that there’s no art to photobombing because this took some serious skills.
Imagine how gauche it would be if someone just wandered in front and made a dumb face — or worse, had their feet slightly touching the ground.
This is serious business.
15. I find that staring with a blank yet vaguely distraught expression on my face in the mirror is a lot more hygienic.
After all, you know what doesn’t have a very good track record of making a bad day better? A bacterial infection.
16. It’s just as well that this pie didn’t work out. I can’t say the smiling one is any less unnerving than the other guy.
It’s a judgment call, but I don’t think it has the energy to snatch my wallet when I’m not looking like Smiley here.
