I like stuff that’s simple, straightforward, and easy to digest. Really, I do.
But I love stuff that’s weirder, more complex— especially if I’m given absolutely no explanation for what’s going on. Anything that leaves me asking questions, you know what I mean?
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Maybe I’m just a sucker for punishment because the internet’s full of stuff like that.
1. Like right here. Sure, I guess it’s just a kid in front of a goldfish.
I still wanna know why the goldfish is in that…brandy snifter? Wine glass?
Also, we all see that the fish looks scared about the giant face behind it, right?
2. Or this mystery mirror. Maybe it’s not a mirror at all?
Portal to another dimension, or just some kind of photo manipulation? I don’t know enough about dimensional physics to really dispute which of those is more likely.
3. Huh. I guess you are what you eat, after all?
I’m not so sure that’s actually what’s happening here. But I do know that there’s only one kind of person who wears a hot dog costume to a hot dog joint, and they are not a person to antagonize.
4. I think it’d be pretty hard to argue that this dude isn’t living his best life.
Yeah, my idea of “best life” involves a high jump in a penguin suit into a pool while riding an inflatable shark.
Doesn’t yours?
5. Hmm. Well, it’s nice that you have a hobby, Gary. But I think I’ll be going home now.
“Please let the door be unlocked, please let the door be unlocked…”
6. Speaking of doors being unlocked…can we explain how this hoofy boi wound up inside an apartment building?
No? Good. Then I can keep him, because there’s probably no way to get him back downstairs, either.
7. This material is so dang addictive. If my bed was covered in it, I would really never get any sleep at all.
I barely sleep as it is, but that doesn’t make it less true.
I have to say that bedspread totally does Yoda justice, too. I’m jealous.
^Me, trying to recreate this wonderful piece of Star Wars art on my own furry-fabric bedspread.
8. OK, I think that “Cat Bath Skeleton” is the name of my new band.
Our music is sort of hard to define. The closest genre would be “math core post-jazz industrial pre-dubstep a capella.” So far it’s just me.
9. Maybe I’d be able to get more people interested in CBS if I took PR lessons from this popular pup.
Listen, I’m just saying that “pup” and “pope” aren’t really all that different, spelling-wise.
10. But you don’t have to be a dog to get cuddles, apparently.
I didn’t realize that crocodiles were ever the cuddly type. Unless “cuddle” specifically involves biting and chewing.
But hey, look at that. Gators even like getting petted!
I was today years old when I learned that alligators are basically dogs. What is even happening?
11. Taking a wild guess that this is the result of a bad breakup?
It’s that or a prank because I refuse to believe anyone’s dumb enough to think this will absorb rain and keep the car dry.
12. Huh. Are pumpkin patches a lie? Is this the X-Files truth?
You know nothing, Charlie Brown. The Great Pumpkin is the great deceiver of our time.
13. First I learn that crocs can cuddle, now I learn that tortoises can be thicc in denim. Awesome.
You learn something new about nature every day. And frankly, it’s never looked better.
If you don’t believe me, just ask Christopher Walken.
He may look like he has a weird fascination with this tortoise, but trust me, Walken knows what he’s Talken about.
