We all know that our parents love to embarrass us, no matter how old we get. There are some moments and stories that no matter how many years have passed, we will never ever live down. The kind of stories your parents tell your significant other the first time you bring them home. You know the type.
Reddit user BlNGPOT thought his mom was going to take his whole birthday away.
“When I was turning like 5 or 6 my mom joked that she was taking away my birthday because I was growing up too fast. I freaked out because I’m a kid and I love my birthday. Now I’m 27 and every year on my birthday she says I’m a year younger because she took away my birthday that one time.”
Reddit user merryprankster2990’s brother is the “muffin man.”
“When my brother was really little he was really into WWF and WWE. He wanted to be a wrestler and he started calling himself “the muscle man” but he couldn’t pronounce “muscle” so it came out “muffin”. We still call him the muffin man, he’s 27.”
Reddit user JackMcLoveHandles will never ever forget this moment. Ever.
After chasing a cat into its cat tower, they got stuck and needed some assistance.
“Finally, my oldest brother says, “I’ll get him out!” grabs me by the ankles, and with all his might His 13 year old self could muster, yanks my jeans clean off. My whitey-tightey bums just out there for to see.”
Needless to say they were eventually rescued.
Reddit user SalemScout really, really loved rocks.
“Stuck rocks up my nose and in my ears when I was three.
I kept doing it. I don’t know why. I had to go to the hospital like three times to get them removed.
My dad still mentions it. He mentioned it at my wedding reception. Like, what do you want from me, I was three!”
Reddit user alexm42 found raisins in all the right places.
“Whenever my parents are talking with other parents about shenanigans pulled by young children my dad likes to bring up the time he came home from work to see 3 year old me up on the kitchen counter, with an entire package of cinnamon raisin bagels having been split in half and de-raisined. He asked me what I was doing and I very proudly exclaimed “I’m eating raisins!”
Reddit user Emuhline’s husband wasn’t good at math.
“Not me, my husband. Neither me or his family will let him forget this. When he was probably 8-10 he would trade 10 cents for any quarters they had, telling them that the 10 cents were baby quarters and they’d grow up to be quarters.”
Reddit user Chainsawferret took things a bit too literally.
“Five years old, went to Dairy Queen. It was August, and as I sat in the back seat enjoying my dilly bar, it was melting faster than I could eat it. We were at a light when my dad noticed the mess I was making on his thunderbirds seats. He reached back and held out his hand and said “gimme that”. So I did. Plopped it in his hand, splattering melted ice cream all over the car.”
Reddit user MRandall25 should be kept away from stairs.
“When I was 3 or 4, I was playing by the stair bannister. I told my older brother to watch me put my head in between them, and I’d be able to pull it back out, no problem.
Then I got stuck.
They won’t let me forget that one.”
Reddit user WezlNZ made a few passionate mistakes.
“That when I was 3 I liked a character on TV so much I kissed the TV and got a static shock and fell over backwards. Must have been pretty funny for them to still bring it up 16 years later.”
Reddit user emrataboobsweat has a type.
“I dated an…interesting…guy in high school. He was REALLY into swords. So now every new guy I meet and bring home, the first thing my family asks is ‘okay, but how many SWORDS does he have?’ They find it pretty darn funny.”
Reddit user cepheid22 was type A, even as a kid.
“I was the flower girl at a wedding. All they told me was to ‘sprinkle the petals on the aisle’ as I walked. Being a fastidious kid, I made a nice, neat row of petals down one side of the aisle. Mom loves to bring that up, and there’s even a picture of my perfect row of petals.”
Reddit user KertyWerty forgot their homework ONE TIME and their parents still won’t let them live it down.
“I got a bad grade in high school for not turning in an assignment on time. That was over 10 years ago and my parents STILL use that ONE TIME to question my work ethic.”
Reddit user womp1970’s mom is all about the guilt.
“My Jewish mother still reminds me daily about how she was in labor with me for 10 hours. The thing is she always tells the story like it was my fault and that I had some control over it. She’ll say, ‘You don’t remember, but it’s the truth!’ Of course I don’t remember, Ma!”
Reddit user HydreigonFeather knows the good things in life.
“When I was little my parents asked me ‘if there was a flood and you could only save two people, who would it be?’ I answered ‘my dogs’ and they’re still salty about it.”
Reddit user MangoliciousFruit has one memorable class picture.
“When I was in elementary school my mom was talking to my teacher about paying for a field trip (we were a low-income family), and I decided to tell her that “the budget’s so tight it squeaks!” I’ll never live it down.
I will also never live down my kindergarten yearbook picture. I was subtly flipping off the camera and it got published, unedited. It’s my family’s favorite picture of me.”
