Don’t you just love it when someone tweets something and you can’t help but marvel at how your entire life, the sum total of your experience on this planet which you should be living to the fullest, is summed up in a mere 280 characters?
What fun.
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However, putting the quite unsettling fact that your life shouldn’t be able to be summed up so easily aside, it can be quite validating knowing that there are other people out there who are experiencing life in a similar way to you! So, with that in mind, here are 13+ tweets that describe my life perfectly! They’re funny and not in the slightest bit depressing, I promise.
Well, most of them anyway!
My Spirit Animal
Yep, please excuse me as I will not be changing my name across all social media channels to “Permanently Exhausted Pigeon.”
Royal Bedding
Ah, the age-old struggle of sharing bed sheets. No matter how long you’re with someone for, this problem never goes away.
If anything, it only gets worse.
Life Is Hard
I have a similar feeling whenever I leave the house in the morning and I realize that the coffee I made is still at home, getting cold on the kitchen counter. I don’t know how I ever got through the day without coffee as a kid.
Cuddly Sleepers
This way, you can both stare at your phones independent of one another without distracting each other as well.
Social Media Hiatuses
What? You actually want us to like, talk to each other and think about our lives? If that was the case, God wouldn’t have given us the internet!
Divorce Party
If you don’t have friends who will go with you to a divorce party, then you need new friends! I mean, it’s an excuse for a party if nothing else!
How Fast Things Change!
I wish I still had the time to be completely up to date on pop culture, but frankly things like how much I’m meant to be paying for rent and trying to feed myself enough so I don’t starve take up too much time.
Avoid Confrontation At All Costs
This was definitely the case for me when I was a kid. However, as a totally emotionally empty 25 year old, I now look for arguments anywhere and everywhere I can.
Live Like A Cicada
Now, this is living the dream. Who would have thought that the greatest life coach on Earth would be a small, hopping insect?
*Aggressive Beeping*
That’s why I always cook with a kitchen towel over my shoulder. Not because it looks professional, but because I will undoubtedly have to be furiously wafting smoke away from the smoke alarm at some point.
Choose Your Ringtone Wisely
I don’t understand why there’s even a voicemail feature anymore. It should just be someone sardonically saying, “You’re really leaving a voicemail?”, then howling with laughter until the line goes dead.
I Can’t Wait To Be Tired Next Week!
It is not only tomorrow that never comes. The very idea of a good night’s sleep also never comes!
Here’s To The Parents!
There’s so much that I just * know , and I don’t know how my parents knew to teach me it.
I mean, if I had a kid right now, that kid would end up learning the most useless crap, like how to kick ass on Mario Kart, and that’s about it.
The Unwanted Guests
It was always such a risk heading downstairs to get a snack as a kid when your parents had friends over. It was never really worth the myriad of asinine questions, was it?
The Dry World Is The Enemy!
Oh how quickly we forget that the wet world is the friend we all need at times of crisis — standing there, letting the water run off your head, waiting for the dry world to reclaim you once more.
Ahh.
Gym Struggles
Me: “Onnneeee… Twwooo… AAAARRRGGGGHHHHHH!”
Trainer: “…You done?”
The Role Model We All Need
I based so much of the person that I am today off SpongeBob SquarePants. I mean, I’m definitely Squidward-like, but it still counts.
Basic Economics
I try to convince myself that this only happens because I have expensive tastes, but the reality is I just buy far too much stuff in general which all adds up.
The Baby Excuse
I refuse to believe that these parents weren’t simply using this as an excuse to leave.
But I still strongly relate to the idea of using any excuse possible to leave social engagements.
The Worst Thing About The Public
The worst part of public is definitely the general public, there’s no doubt about that!
Which one of these tweets hit closest to home for you? Let us know in the comments below!
