After 21 Years of Sacrifice, Mom Chooses Herself - Leaves Autistic Daughter 😢

Diply Social Team
Diply | Diply

Imagine spending nearly 21 years of your life caring for a severely autistic child, sacrificing your social and romantic life, and putting your career on hold. 💔 Now, imagine your ex-husband, who barely helped with your child, suddenly reappearing and offering to help. 🤔 In this emotional rollercoaster of a story, our protagonist, a 48-year-old woman, finally sees a chance to live her life and pursue her career abroad when her daughter turns 18. 🌍 But will her support groups understand her decision, or will they lash out at her for leaving her daughter in a group home while she enjoys her newfound freedom? 😱 Let's dive into her story and find out!

A Mother's Struggle: Autistic Daughter 💔

Throwawayxautis | Throwawayxautis

The Ex's Exit: Divorce and Disappearance 😔

Throwawayxautis | Throwawayxautis

Single Mom Struggles: Career and Caregiving 🏢

Throwawayxautis | Throwawayxautis

Working Mom Woes: Juggling Life and Autism 🤹

Throwawayxautis | Throwawayxautis

Unsolicited Advice: The Struggle for Help 😤

Throwawayxautis | Throwawayxautis

Reality Check: The Truth About Assistance 🚧

Throwawayxautis | Throwawayxautis

A Change of Plans: Daughter Turns 18 🎂

Throwawayxautis | Throwawayxautis

The Ex Returns: Offers of Help 🤝

Throwawayxautis | Throwawayxautis

Career Opportunity: Working Abroad 🌍

Throwawayxautis | Throwawayxautis

New Arrangements: Ex Steps In 🏠

Throwawayxautis | Throwawayxautis

Financial Support: Sending Money 💵

Throwawayxautis | Throwawayxautis

Group Home Placement: A New Chapter 🏘️

Throwawayxautis | Throwawayxautis

Criticism and Concerns: Support Group Backlash 😠

Throwawayxautis | Throwawayxautis

Living Life: Finally Enjoying It 🥳

Throwawayxautis | Throwawayxautis

Ex's Response: New Chapters for Both 📖

Throwawayxautis | Throwawayxautis

Autism, Exes, and New Beginnings: A Mother's Dilemma 🌪️

After years of sacrificing her own happiness to care for her severely autistic daughter, our heroine finally sees a chance to live her life when her ex-husband reappears and offers to help. 😲 With her daughter placed in a group home, she pursues a long-awaited career opportunity abroad, finally enjoying her job and social life. 🎉 But her support groups aren't too happy about it, claiming she needs to stay in the US to keep an eye on her daughter's caregivers. 😠 Meanwhile, her ex-husband moves on with his life, refusing to check on their daughter and stating they're both starting new chapters. 📖 So, is our protagonist in the wrong for wanting to live her life, or should she have stayed in the US to keep a watchful eye on her daughter's care? 🤔 Let's see what the internet thinks of this heart-wrenching situation... 💬

Nurse encourages mom to prioritize herself without abandoning daughter. 👏

Sad_Trainer_4895 | Sad_Trainer_4895

Hiring a visitor to check on daughter? Good idea 👍

Winterlong | Winterlong

Pediatric PT praises mother for raising daughter and finding her appropriate care.

TicketMaster10 | TicketMaster10

You've done everything possible, ignore the haters 😏

a-_rose | a-_rose

Special needs mother expresses support for mom's decision to choose herself.

Fuckyoumecp2 | Fuckyoumecp2

Heartbreaking reality of some parents abandoning their children 😢

Emotional-Brush1044 | Emotional-Brush1044

Hiring a weekly visitor can prevent abuse in care facilities 👍

Laughorcryliveordie | Laughorcryliveordie

Wanting to live your life is valid but visit your daughter 😢

judgingA-holes | judgingA-holes

Parent of an autistic child shares similar experience and offers support 🙌

scottwax | scottwax

Encouraging reply, suggests group home could be good for daughter 🙌

Marillenbaum | Marillenbaum

Former group home worker advises OP on finding a good home and maintaining contact with daughter. 🙏

Krodelc | Krodelc

Supportive comment reminds mother to prioritize her own needs and desires ❤️

ele71ua | ele71ua

A reminder to protect vulnerable individuals from potential abuse 😢

byesharona | byesharona

Suggests visiting autistic daughter regularly and hiring visiting service 👍

AudienceKindly4070 | AudienceKindly4070

Breaking free from the constant caregiver cycle and finding a way to meet both your and your child's needs is terrifying to some, but it's time to enjoy life! 😊

unlovelyladybartleby | unlovelyladybartleby

Heartbreaking comment on the struggles of a single mom.

oceanduciel | oceanduciel

Don't abandon your daughter, pay someone to visit instead 🙅

theraddistnikki | theraddistnikki

NTA, but daughter deserves to be on priority list 😢

rejococo | rejococo

Direct support professional encourages balance between self-care and daughter's needs 👍

Big_Climate8775 | Big_Climate8775

Supportive comment from a fellow parent of autistic child 💜

NewRelationship5427 | NewRelationship5427

Offering practical advice for a difficult situation 🙌

etron42 | etron42

Hiring weekly care for daughter can ensure her well-being ❤️ NTA

Followthatfamily | Followthatfamily

Choosing to prioritize oneself is valid. Support groups aren't gospel.

Traditional_Donut110 | Traditional_Donut110

YTA for leaving daughter in care and not visiting her 😢

Hrams66 | Hrams66

Difficult decision: leaving autistic daughter for personal growth. Mixed feelings.

Some-Jackfruit-2773 | Some-Jackfruit-2773

Parenting is hard but sacrificing your child's needs is not okay 🚫

Interesting_Cover220 | Interesting_Cover220

Neglected autistic daughter in group home, ESH with bad karma 😢

idontknowmtname | idontknowmtname

Choosing yourself after 21 years of sacrifice is understandable. Hoping for occasional visits😊

FaithlessnessItchy66 | FaithlessnessItchy66

Heartbroken father expresses dismay at mom abandoning her autistic daughter.

0118999_881999119725 | 0118999_881999119725

Ex's move away leaves autistic daughter behind. ESH.

AllCrankNoSpark | AllCrankNoSpark

Parenting is a lifelong responsibility, even when living abroad. 🚫

XcuseMeMisISpeakJive | XcuseMeMisISpeakJive

Leaving autistic daughter in group home and moving away - cold? 🤷‍♀️

TarHeelOnPosh | TarHeelOnPosh

Balancing personal freedom and responsibility as a caregiver 🙏

ComfortableWish | ComfortableWish

Candid and relatable comment on the unrealistic expectations of self-care.

Particular-Try5584 | Particular-Try5584

Planning for the future is tough, but necessary ✌️

Calcularius | Calcularius

Compassionate suggestion for mom's situation 🤔

IntelligentAd4429 | IntelligentAd4429

Parent of autistic child supports OP's decision to prioritize self-care 🙌

Alia_Explores99 | Alia_Explores99

Difficult decision for mom, but daughter needs a guardian 💔

swampthroat | swampthroat

Mixed feelings expressed over mother's decision to leave autistic daughter 🤔

Amourxfoxx | Amourxfoxx

NTA - OT and caregiver burnout is prominent in disability community 🙌

ConditionNormal7688 | ConditionNormal7688

Supportive comment encourages mother to prioritize her own happiness.

traumakidshollywood | traumakidshollywood

Sibling offers tough love to mom choosing to move away.

tulips49 | tulips49

Stay close to your daughter for a better life, YTA/NTA.

Sagafreyja | Sagafreyja

Mom stands up to support groups and claims NTA 👏

chaingun_samurai | chaingun_samurai

Suggests a compromise for mom leaving autistic daughter, empathizes with pain.

Beginning-Ostrich104 | Beginning-Ostrich104

Controversial comment receives no replies or upvotes 🤷

lsp2005 | lsp2005

Heartbreaking comment condemns mother for leaving autistic daughter.

SugarGoat86 | SugarGoat86

Leaving her daughter, but YTA only if no visits. Suggests solutions 👍

Consuela_no_no | Consuela_no_no

Tag-teaming with terminally ill brother for just 1.5 hours? OP's NTA 🙌

funkydaffodil | funkydaffodil

A scathing comment calling out all sides, no holds barred.

ShiftySocks | ShiftySocks

Group homes may not be safe for daughter, consider other options 😢

ipsofactoshithead | ipsofactoshithead

Deadbeat dad returns for money, accuses mom of neglect. 🤦‍♂️

emdafem | emdafem

Choosing a group home for long-term care: Is it better? 🤔

MyLadyBits | MyLadyBits

Choosing yourself after years of sacrifice is not monstrous. 👏

homemadeteriyaki | homemadeteriyaki

Harsh criticism for a mother who left her autistic daughter.

GrouchyAuthor3869 | GrouchyAuthor3869

Hiring a proxy can help you stay involved in care.

MeFolly | MeFolly

Empathetic comment encourages considering daughter's needs and wants 🙏

85bert | 85bert

Caregivers deserve to prioritize their own well-being sometimes 👏

Cybermagetx | Cybermagetx

Heartless comment on mother abandoning autistic daughter 😢

Moist-Win-1766 | Moist-Win-1766

Raising kids on the spectrum is a whole nother level of hard 😢

RNGinx3 | RNGinx3

Choosing a new home for her daughter was a tough decision, but a necessary one for her own well-being. NTA 🙏

magebee | magebee

Support groups criticized for not understanding mother's difficult decision.

oulipopcorn | oulipopcorn

Empathizing with a difficult decision in caring for an autistic child 😢

theretrospeculative | theretrospeculative

Balancing personal needs with care for autistic child 😔

grouchykitten1517 | grouchykitten1517

Assessing daughter's quality of life is crucial - any updates?

lucysucks | lucysucks

Moving abroad and visiting once in two years makes you TA 😢

throwawayeas989 | throwawayeas989

Encouraging words for a mother's tough decision 👍

mi_nombre_es_ricardo | mi_nombre_es_ricardo

Parenting comes with sacrifices, but abandoning your child isn't okay 😔

meowmix79 | meowmix79

Ex demanding mileage payment to see his daughter? NTA, obviously.

alc1982 | alc1982

A possible solution for the daughter's care in Germany 🇩🇪

TeethBreak | TeethBreak

Supportive comment suggests self-care and offers practical advice. 👍

FabulousDonut6399 | FabulousDonut6399

Choosing yourself doesn't make you an a**hole, but neglecting your daughter does 😢

MissNikitaDevan | MissNikitaDevan

Choosing self-care as a full-time caregiver is valid 👏

kikivee612 | kikivee612

Choosing yourself after 21 years of sacrifice is not selfish 💪

9and3of4 | 9and3of4

Safeguarding options for daughter suggested in a supportive tone 👍

CymruB | CymruB

Concerned commenter suggests professional care and visits for disabled adult.

oldgar9 | oldgar9

Autistic adults can have fulfilling lives in care facilities. NTA.

Shitp0st_Supreme | Shitp0st_Supreme

Heartbreaking story of a mother's sacrifice for her disabled son ❤️

nerdyviolet | nerdyviolet

Mother's difficult decision to prioritize herself receives support 🙌

omgwtflols | omgwtflols

Difficult decision, but hope daughter is well taken care of. 💔

Archangel1962 | Archangel1962

Balancing self-care and family responsibility is important. 👍

pinkplasticplate | pinkplasticplate

Choosing to transition to group home can be beneficial long-term. Support groups can be toxic and it's important to make your own choices.

2PlasticLobsters | 2PlasticLobsters

Parenting is a tough job, and sometimes tough decisions. 😢

Puzzleheaded-Job6147 | Puzzleheaded-Job6147

Breaking free after 21 years of sacrifice. NTA for choosing self-care. 🙏

Status_Opposite_1543 | Status_Opposite_1543

Hiring an advocate to keep tabs on home and meet the gaps 🤔

NeverRarelySometimes | NeverRarelySometimes

Choosing oneself after 21 years of sacrifice is understandable 💁‍♀️

IndividualDevice9621 | IndividualDevice9621

Prioritizing self-care doesn't make you a bad parent. 👏

Minute-Aioli-5054 | Minute-Aioli-5054

Choosing yourself is not selfish. NTA. Stay in touch 👋

Mortica_Fattams | Mortica_Fattams

Choosing self-care over caregiving - NTA. 🙌

AffectionateSun4119 | AffectionateSun4119

Filed Under: