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When a Daughter Refuses to Let Her Hoarder Mom Move In: Heartless or Justified?

by Diply Social Team
2 years ago
in Family
Reading Time: 14 mins read
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Imagine having a parent whose hoarding habits have turned their home into a living nightmare. Now, imagine that parent asking to move into your clean, orderly home. What would you do? This is the dilemma faced by one woman, whose 63-year-old mother’s hoarding habits have made her own house unlivable. Despite having the resources to hire a professional cleanout service, the mother refuses, leaving the daughter in a tough spot.

Mom’s Hoarding Habits: A Frustrating Reality

Image credit: notthisagain21 | notthisagain21
notthisagain21 | notthisagain21

The Hidden Nightmare of Mom’s House

Image credit: notthisagain21 | notthisagain21
notthisagain21 | notthisagain21

The Disturbing Details of Mom’s House

Image credit: notthisagain21 | notthisagain21
notthisagain21 | notthisagain21

Mom’s Refusal to Clean Up: A Stubborn Stance ‍♀️

Image credit: notthisagain21 | notthisagain21
notthisagain21 | notthisagain21

The Unexpected Request: Moving In

Image credit: notthisagain21 | notthisagain21
notthisagain21 | notthisagain21

The Aftermath: Guilt or Relief?

Image credit: notthisagain21 | notthisagain21
notthisagain21 | notthisagain21

The Financial Reality: Mom’s Resources

Image credit: notthisagain21 | notthisagain21
notthisagain21 | notthisagain21

The Final Verdict: Daughter’s Stance

Image credit: notthisagain21 | notthisagain21
notthisagain21 | notthisagain21

A Daughter’s Struggle: Standing Her Ground Against a Hoarder Mom

In a heart-wrenching tale of tough love, a woman finds herself at odds with her hoarding mother. The mother’s house is a disaster zone, and she refuses to hire a cleanout service, despite having the financial means to do so. When she asks to move in with her daughter, the latter refuses, fearing the chaos that might ensue. The daughter is left questioning her decision, even though she believes her mother has the resources to solve her own problems. Let’s delve into the internet’s top responses to this emotional rollercoaster.

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NTA: Mom’s hoarding is destroying your home and mental health

Image credit: SteamScout | SteamScout
SteamScout | SteamScout

NTA: Mom needs new therapist, moving in would be disaster

Image credit: ComfortableZebra2412 | ComfortableZebra2412
ComfortableZebra2412 | ComfortableZebra2412

NTA. Don’t let her turn your home into hers.

Image credit: No_Proposal7628 | No_Proposal7628
No_Proposal7628 | No_Proposal7628

Daughter refuses hoarder mom’s move-in: justified or heartless?

Image credit: StAlvis | StAlvis
StAlvis | StAlvis

NTA. Don’t let her hoard your happiness. Find a new therapist!

Image credit: TheVue221 | TheVue221
TheVue221 | TheVue221

“NTA. Don’t let her move in or she will turn your house into landfill”

Image credit: AlaskaNebreska | AlaskaNebreska
AlaskaNebreska | AlaskaNebreska

NTA. A chilling glimpse into the future if you let her move in.

Image credit: Verathegun | Verathegun
Verathegun | Verathegun

NTA: Setting boundaries with a hoarding parent, a never-ending battle

Image credit: OkapiEli | OkapiEli
OkapiEli | OkapiEli

“NTA. It’s sad, but don’t bring her unresolved issues into your space. Suggest short-term alternatives to help her.”

Image credit: activelurker777 | activelurker777
activelurker777 | activelurker777

NTA. Mom’s hoarding isn’t your fault. Don’t set yourself on fire.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA: Daughter refuses hoarder mom’s move, suggests inpatient facility instead

Image credit: haute_tropique | haute_tropique
haute_tropique | haute_tropique

Don’t enable her! Stand firm, you’re NTA! ‍♀️

Image credit: PrincessTrunks17 | PrincessTrunks17
PrincessTrunks17 | PrincessTrunks17

NTA. Tough love for a stubborn hoarder mom.

Image credit: readshannontierney | readshannontierney
readshannontierney | readshannontierney

Daughter refuses hoarder mom’s move-in request: justified or heartless?

Image credit: Icedragon193 | Icedragon193
Icedragon193 | Icedragon193

NTA: Mom has options, you don’t need to be one

Image credit: BaffledMum | BaffledMum
BaffledMum | BaffledMum

Supportive commenter encourages setting boundaries with hoarder mother.

Image credit: lascivious_chicken | lascivious_chicken
lascivious_chicken | lascivious_chicken

NTA: Seek professional help for your hoarder mom, not misery

Image credit: ThankYouOlive | ThankYouOlive
ThankYouOlive | ThankYouOlive

Daughter refuses hoarder mom: justified or heartless?

Image credit: just_tryin_my_best | just_tryin_my_best
just_tryin_my_best | just_tryin_my_best

NTA refuses to let hoarder mom move in, considers reporting

Image credit: thicklover | thicklover
thicklover | thicklover

Protect yourself, help her get professional aid or assisted living.

Image credit: Dealingwithdragons | Dealingwithdragons
Dealingwithdragons | Dealingwithdragons

NTA. Hoarding is tough. Suggest new therapist, help with cleaning.

Image credit: fraggletart | fraggletart
fraggletart | fraggletart

Protective services needed for hoarder mom, but don’t live together!

Image credit: teresajs | teresajs
teresajs | teresajs

NTA. Mom’s mess, not your responsibility. You owe her nothing.

Image credit: cMeeber | cMeeber
cMeeber | cMeeber

NTA: Therapy isn’t helping, time for a clean break!

Image credit: TonnieSue | TonnieSue
TonnieSue | TonnieSue

NTA. Tough situation, but you’re making the right call.

Image credit: Lucky_Profession_355 | Lucky_Profession_355
Lucky_Profession_355 | Lucky_Profession_355

NTA. Hoarding is a mental illness

Image credit: Badger-of-Horrors | Badger-of-Horrors
Badger-of-Horrors | Badger-of-Horrors

“*Pooping in bags??* Jesus. This is serious.”

Image credit: A_Glass_DarklyXX | A_Glass_DarklyXX
A_Glass_DarklyXX | A_Glass_DarklyXX

Choosing sanity over enabling. Seek support and advice.

Image credit: bnenene | bnenene
bnenene | bnenene

NTA: Don’t let a hoarder move in, no matter who they are!

Image credit: HatlyHats | HatlyHats
HatlyHats | HatlyHats

NTA. Your mental health is important too.

Image credit: Curtisziraa | Curtisziraa
Curtisziraa | Curtisziraa

Setting boundaries with a hoarder mom. Just say no!

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA, you made the right decision!

Image credit: Clydefr0g8 | Clydefr0g8
Clydefr0g8 | Clydefr0g8

Protect your mental health and well-being. You made the right choice.

Image credit: coconutville | coconutville
coconutville | coconutville

NTA: Protect your home and mental health from your hoarder mom!

Image credit: Mission-Cloud360 | Mission-Cloud360
Mission-Cloud360 | Mission-Cloud360

Daughter refuses hoarder mom: justified or heartless?

Image credit: Aggressive-Sample612 | Aggressive-Sample612
Aggressive-Sample612 | Aggressive-Sample612

Does she need a psychiatrist for her hoarding problem?

Image credit: Alternative_Year_340 | Alternative_Year_340
Alternative_Year_340 | Alternative_Year_340

Setting boundaries: NTA for standing up for yourself

Image credit: MiaouMiaou27 | MiaouMiaou27
MiaouMiaou27 | MiaouMiaou27

NTA. Boundaries are important even with loved ones.

Image credit: Izzy4162305 | Izzy4162305
Izzy4162305 | Izzy4162305

NTA

You did the RIGHT thing, she can’t lean on you, her kid, forever.

If you took her in you’d be enabling her compulsive behaviour plus she would frankly ruin your house too!

I’m probably going to get flack for this but after 10 years of therapy she isnt any better, you can’t save her and she isn’t your responsibility. She is a grown a** woman and she has to be accountable for her actions

Good luck moving forward

Image credit: daughterofnarcs | daughterofnarcs
daughterofnarcs | daughterofnarcs

Set boundaries and don’t let her move in. NTA!

Image credit: pinkglitterbomb | pinkglitterbomb
pinkglitterbomb | pinkglitterbomb

NTA. Hoarder mom’s home invasion averted. Smart move, OP!

Image credit: luckydidi18 | luckydidi18
luckydidi18 | luckydidi18

Compassionate advice: NTA for not letting her move in

Image credit: xwordmom | xwordmom
xwordmom | xwordmom

Misreading surgery leads to hilarious brain malfunction for commenter

Image credit: Unholynuggets | Unholynuggets
Unholynuggets | Unholynuggets

NTA. Setting boundaries with a hoarder mom.

Image credit: Throwaway41790a | Throwaway41790a
Throwaway41790a | Throwaway41790a

Empathy for mom, but you’re NTA. Tough but justified choice.

Image credit: Dangerous_Green5693 | Dangerous_Green5693
Dangerous_Green5693 | Dangerous_Green5693

NTA: Hoarding mom’s house could be considered self-neglect

Image credit: Apocalypstik | Apocalypstik
Apocalypstik | Apocalypstik

NTA You care, but her living with you would be overwhelming.

Image credit: AlabamaMercy | AlabamaMercy
AlabamaMercy | AlabamaMercy

NTA, encourage therapy and seek professional help for hoarding.

Image credit: nonameneeded2340 | nonameneeded2340
nonameneeded2340 | nonameneeded2340

Setting boundaries with a hoarder mom: tough but necessary decision.

Image credit: hobobarbie | hobobarbie
hobobarbie | hobobarbie

NTA: Your home, your rules.

Image credit: IamTrashatthisgame | IamTrashatthisgame
IamTrashatthisgame | IamTrashatthisgame

NTA: A fresh start and new therapist could make a difference!

Image credit: South_Cantaloupe2156 | South_Cantaloupe2156
South_Cantaloupe2156 | South_Cantaloupe2156

NTA. Nope, nope, and nope.

Image credit: bizianka | bizianka
bizianka | bizianka

NTA: Support your mom’s mental health, but prioritize your safety

Image credit: Electrical_Turn7 | Electrical_Turn7
Electrical_Turn7 | Electrical_Turn7

NtA. Don’t take in human strays. Toxicity is a bad idea.

Image credit: darklinghate | darklinghate
darklinghate | darklinghate

Supportive commenter suggests therapy to verify mother’s situation.

Image credit: smol-fry4 | smol-fry4
smol-fry4 | smol-fry4

NTA. Hoarding is a tough addiction. Seek support at r/ChildOfHoarder.

Image credit: naprzyklad | naprzyklad
naprzyklad | naprzyklad

NTA. Take action and protect yourself from a hoarded home.

Image credit: CompetitiveLecture5 | CompetitiveLecture5
CompetitiveLecture5 | CompetitiveLecture5

NTA for refusing to let hoarder mom move in. Protect yourself!

Image credit: IllustriousEffort937 | IllustriousEffort937
IllustriousEffort937 | IllustriousEffort937

Helping a hoarder family member is like helping an addict. NTA.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Don’t burn yourself to keep others warm.

Image credit: AMerrickanGirl | AMerrickanGirl
AMerrickanGirl | AMerrickanGirl

Daughter refuses hoarder mom’s move-in: NTA, no change in weeks

Image credit: KnightofForestsWild | KnightofForestsWild
KnightofForestsWild | KnightofForestsWild

NTA: Trust your instincts, it’ll be a never-ending battle

Image credit: Danmont88 | Danmont88
Danmont88 | Danmont88

NTA: Hoarding is a mental illness. New therapist needed!

Image credit: suckmyduck29 | suckmyduck29
suckmyduck29 | suckmyduck29

Understanding the struggles of living with a hoarder parent.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA. Tough love can help her get the help she needs.

Image credit: SleepDeprivedSailor | SleepDeprivedSailor
SleepDeprivedSailor | SleepDeprivedSailor

Cleaning therapy for hoarder mom: NTA, guilt-free room cleaning!

Image credit: Ninotchk | Ninotchk
Ninotchk | Ninotchk

NTA. Set boundaries with your mom to protect your space.

Image credit: Em4Tango | Em4Tango
Em4Tango | Em4Tango

New therapist needed? The hoarding situation is getting out of hand. NAH

Image credit: Candlecakes | Candlecakes
Candlecakes | Candlecakes

NTA: Therapy, meds, and Adult Protective Services may be necessary.

Image credit: bubbles963146 | bubbles963146
bubbles963146 | bubbles963146

NTA Stay strong. Don’t let her hoard YOU.

Image credit: JenBGenX | JenBGenX
JenBGenX | JenBGenX

Setting boundaries with a hoarder mom: justified or heartless?

Image credit: florida_born | florida_born
florida_born | florida_born

10 years of therapy and still no progress? NTA

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Quick judgment without reading? Let’s see what unfolds!

Image credit: NotKatieCase | NotKatieCase
NotKatieCase | NotKatieCase

Understanding the challenges of living with a hoarder parent

Image credit: BLG_Sydney | BLG_Sydney
BLG_Sydney | BLG_Sydney

NTA: Hoarding is intractable, protect your home. Cats need water!

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]
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