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Mixed Race Woman’s Hair Advice Sparks Family Drama

by Diply Social Team
2 years ago
in Family
Reading Time: 12 mins read
A A
Diply | Diply

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Picture this: a mixed race woman with curly hair, married into a white family, sits down for a family dinner. She’s closer to her in-laws than her own family, and they’re all discussing the hurtful comments she’s been facing lately. But when her sister-in-law (SIL) suggests she straighten her hair to look less ‘ethnic’ and avoid racism, things take a dramatic turn.

Curly Hair and Family Dynamics

Image credit: area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble
area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble

Family Dinner Discussions

Image credit: area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble
area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble

Hurtful Comments and Soda Cans

Image credit: area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble
area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble

SIL’s ‘Helpful’ Hair Advice

Image credit: area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble
area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble

A Shocked Response

Image credit: area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble
area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble

Awkward Silence Ensues

Image credit: area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble
area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble

Reflecting on SIL’s Intentions

Image credit: area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble
area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble

SIL’s Background

Image credit: area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble
area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble

Update and Clarifications

Image credit: area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble
area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble

SIL Not Racist, Just Ignorant

Image credit: area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble
area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble

Taking the NTA Verdict

Image credit: area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble
area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble

Meeting Up with SIL

Image credit: area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble
area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble

Building Bridges, Not Walls

Image credit: area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble
area_cherry_noble | area_cherry_noble

Hair Advice Ignites Family Tension

So, was our curly-haired protagonist in the wrong for calling out her SIL’s hair advice? The internet seems to think not. It’s important to remember that while her SIL may not have had malicious intentions, her comment was still hurtful and ignorant. Our protagonist has taken this as an opportunity to educate and build bridges, rather than shutting down the conversation. Who knows, maybe this family dinner drama will lead to a stronger bond between them in the end.

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NTA! SIL’s comments were racist and victim-blaming. She owes an apology.

Image credit: amb-ly | amb-ly
amb-ly | amb-ly

NTA commenter suggests reaching out to ignorant but well-meaning SIL

Image credit: indecisive_maybe | indecisive_maybe
indecisive_maybe | indecisive_maybe

NTA. Commenters discuss coded language, self-protective measures, and cultural appreciation.

Image credit: CumulusTattoos | CumulusTattoos
CumulusTattoos | CumulusTattoos

POC educates ignorant friend on race, seeks to mend relationship

Image credit: sollicitusmeraki | sollicitusmeraki
sollicitusmeraki | sollicitusmeraki

Navigating cultural differences in hair can be a minefield

Image credit: FastWalkingShortGuy | FastWalkingShortGuy
FastWalkingShortGuy | FastWalkingShortGuy

Stand your ground! NTA gets blamed for family drama

Image credit: princessofperky | princessofperky
princessofperky | princessofperky

Handling ignorance with grace and perspective. NTA

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA. SIL and BIL equating their hurt feelings to violent racism

Image credit: LuckyGhostie | LuckyGhostie
LuckyGhostie | LuckyGhostie

POC commenter discusses victim blaming and lack of sympathy towards SIL

Image credit: xiaoyukhei | xiaoyukhei
xiaoyukhei | xiaoyukhei

OP’s friend suggests educating SIL on POC issues, not malice.

Image credit: 99angelgirl | 99angelgirl
99angelgirl | 99angelgirl

Support for NTA comment on victim blaming

Image credit: sweetsunny1 | sweetsunny1
sweetsunny1 | sweetsunny1

NTA- SIL’s white tears and BIL’s text were unacceptable

Image credit: Readingreddit12345 | Readingreddit12345
Readingreddit12345 | Readingreddit12345

Helpful advice sparks family drama, but opportunity for growth exists

Image credit: thegreattemptation | thegreattemptation
thegreattemptation | thegreattemptation

Fighting casual racism: why it’s insidious and deleterious

Image credit: Veridical_Perception | Veridical_Perception
Veridical_Perception | Veridical_Perception

Reply challenges commenter’s lack of nuance and empathy

Image credit: Rogues_Gambit | Rogues_Gambit
Rogues_Gambit | Rogues_Gambit

NAH comment and replies discuss colorism in Asian culture.

Image credit: AdventurerMax | AdventurerMax
AdventurerMax | AdventurerMax

Navigating family drama over hair advice with empathy

Image credit: nan1ta | nan1ta
nan1ta | nan1ta

Empathetic comment acknowledges both sides of the situation

Image credit: Krish1986 | Krish1986
Krish1986 | Krish1986

NTA commenter calls out racist comment, encourages apology and growth

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Suggests a diplomatic approach to address ignorant comment

Image credit: StillOnAMountain | StillOnAMountain
StillOnAMountain | StillOnAMountain

Teachable moment: Embracing diversity and rejecting white privilege

Image credit: Jyslina | Jyslina
Jyslina | Jyslina

Mixed-race hair advice leads to family drama and apologies

Image credit: soullessginger93 | soullessginger93
soullessginger93 | soullessginger93

NTA for standing up against ignorance and racism

Image credit: dramaandaheadache | dramaandaheadache
dramaandaheadache | dramaandaheadache

Empathetic commenter offers reading recommendations for cultural understanding.

Image credit: femmemalin | femmemalin
femmemalin | femmemalin

Don’t take the blame for someone else’s embarrassment.

Image credit: GodzillaSuit | GodzillaSuit
GodzillaSuit | GodzillaSuit

Commenter defends woman’s ignorance, calls out immaturity. NTA.

Image credit: PipTitwhistle | PipTitwhistle
PipTitwhistle | PipTitwhistle

NTA for calling out ignorance and lack of common courtesy

Image credit: minahmyu | minahmyu
minahmyu | minahmyu

NTA stands up against ignorance in hair advice debacle

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Supportive comment encourages standing up against racism

Image credit: coconutshave | coconutshave
coconutshave | coconutshave

Standing up for yourself against family ignorance

Image credit: marvelouseevee | marvelouseevee
marvelouseevee | marvelouseevee

Supportive comment sparks agreement in hair advice drama

Image credit: wacko-warlock | wacko-warlock
wacko-warlock | wacko-warlock

Heartbreaking experience of racism over a hairstyle. NTA, educate her.

Image credit: BernieTheDachshund | BernieTheDachshund
BernieTheDachshund | BernieTheDachshund

NTA calls out micro-aggressions and excuses that perpetuate racism

Image credit: gulwver | gulwver
gulwver | gulwver

Commenter calls out ignorance and cultural insensitivity.

Image credit: PrincessofRampage | PrincessofRampage
PrincessofRampage | PrincessofRampage

Handling family drama like a saint

Image credit: Moravic39 | Moravic39
Moravic39 | Moravic39

Educating ignorance: Impact of words matter, not intentions. #NTA

Image credit: Mrbigmoney7 | Mrbigmoney7
Mrbigmoney7 | Mrbigmoney7

Embrace your natural hair and ignore the haters!

Image credit: Bitxhlasagna | Bitxhlasagna
Bitxhlasagna | Bitxhlasagna

Commenter praises someone for learning about white privilege

Image credit: wontonbitch | wontonbitch
wontonbitch | wontonbitch

Don’t tell mixed race women to look “less ethnic”

Image credit: chaosindeep | chaosindeep
chaosindeep | chaosindeep

Compliment and empathy for woman’s struggles with racism

Image credit: solennwolf | solennwolf
solennwolf | solennwolf

Stand up for yourself and address comments head on!

Image credit: RyanKennedy911 | RyanKennedy911
RyanKennedy911 | RyanKennedy911

Short and sweet: commenter is not the a**hole

Image credit: Kalixshnikov | Kalixshnikov
Kalixshnikov | Kalixshnikov

Setting boundaries is key. NTA teaches a lesson.

Image credit: yonk182 | yonk182
yonk182 | yonk182

Commenter supports woman’s hair advice, suggests learning experience.

Image credit: auntieB367 | auntieB367
auntieB367 | auntieB367

Shocked commenter defends woman’s hair advice.

Image credit: ThatZach | ThatZach
ThatZach | ThatZach

Short and sweet – commenter agrees with original poster!

Image credit: paradiseisalibrary31 | paradiseisalibrary31
paradiseisalibrary31 | paradiseisalibrary31

SIL humiliated herself, commenter gives 100% NTA approval

Image credit: wordsareweapons14 | wordsareweapons14
wordsareweapons14 | wordsareweapons14

Supportive comment encourages education and understanding for ignorant friend

Image credit: rumf00rd | rumf00rd
rumf00rd | rumf00rd

Offer to educate gently for better future family gatherings

Image credit: maryjayne9191 | maryjayne9191
maryjayne9191 | maryjayne9191

NTA commenter calls out racism and ignorance, demands accountability

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Commenter defends OP’s response to hair advice drama

Image credit: chatty_introvert88 | chatty_introvert88
chatty_introvert88 | chatty_introvert88

NTA comment and replies: Stand up for yourself

Image credit: awkwardly_competent | awkwardly_competent
awkwardly_competent | awkwardly_competent

Standing up against victim blaming with a sharp smack

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Supportive comment encourages self-work and understanding of racial inequality

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Teaching kids to be kind is easy

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Commenter calls out victim blaming and suggests changing hair is wrong

Image credit: spagbahagwag | spagbahagwag
spagbahagwag | spagbahagwag

Envy for gorgeous curls and support for standing up against unintentional insults

Image credit: Sub_Umbra | Sub_Umbra
Sub_Umbra | Sub_Umbra

Encouraging response to ignorant comment, promoting open-mindedness

Image credit: FairyFartDaydreams | FairyFartDaydreams
FairyFartDaydreams | FairyFartDaydreams

Acknowledging privilege can be uncomfortable but necessary for growth.

Image credit: leafyleafleaves | leafyleafleaves
leafyleafleaves | leafyleafleaves

NTA comment explains victim blaming and offers advice for education

Image credit: sweadle | sweadle
sweadle | sweadle

Engage in a respectful conversation to educate and connect

Image credit: MaedayDuck | MaedayDuck
MaedayDuck | MaedayDuck
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