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Woman Refuses to Call Her Bully Brother-in-Law ‘Family’

by Diply Social Team
2 years ago
in Family
Reading Time: 15 mins read
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Imagine having to face your childhood bully at every family gathering. That’s the reality for one woman (31F) who married her middle school bully’s younger brother. Now, her sister-in-law (31F) isn’t speaking to her or any other family members because she refuses to consider her bully-turned-brother-in-law (31M) as family. Despite everyone urging her to move on from the past, she remains firm in her stance. Let’s dive into the story that has everyone talking.

The Bullying Begins

Image credit: cloud13181 | cloud13181
cloud13181 | cloud13181

High School and Beyond

Image credit: cloud13181 | cloud13181
cloud13181 | cloud13181

Fate Intervenes

Image credit: cloud13181 | cloud13181
cloud13181 | cloud13181

BIL’s Reaction

Image credit: cloud13181 | cloud13181
cloud13181 | cloud13181

Years Later

Image credit: cloud13181 | cloud13181
cloud13181 | cloud13181

BIL Moves In

Image credit: cloud13181 | cloud13181
cloud13181 | cloud13181

Family Dinners

Image credit: cloud13181 | cloud13181
cloud13181 | cloud13181

Awkward Interactions

Image credit: cloud13181 | cloud13181
cloud13181 | cloud13181

Sister-in-Law’s Outburst

Image credit: cloud13181 | cloud13181
cloud13181 | cloud13181

Standing Her Ground

Image credit: cloud13181 | cloud13181
cloud13181 | cloud13181

Family Fallout

Image credit: cloud13181 | cloud13181
cloud13181 | cloud13181

Moving On?

Image credit: cloud13181 | cloud13181
cloud13181 | cloud13181

Her Stance

Image credit: cloud13181 | cloud13181
cloud13181 | cloud13181

Unresolved Issues

Image credit: cloud13181 | cloud13181
cloud13181 | cloud13181

A Surprising Response

Image credit: cloud13181 | cloud13181
cloud13181 | cloud13181

Forgive and Forget? Not So Fast!

This woman is caught in a tough spot. She’s married into a family where her brother-in-law is her former middle school bully, and now everyone expects her to forgive and forget. Despite the pressure, she remains firm in her stance that she doesn’t need to consider him family. With no apology or acknowledgment of the past from her brother-in-law, it’s no wonder she’s holding her ground. But what do people think about this complicated family dynamic? Let’s explore some of the top reactions…

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Brother-in-law never apologized for bullying, NTA for not forgiving.

Image credit: phoebus67 | phoebus67
phoebus67 | phoebus67

BIL bullies OP as an adult, refuses to apologize. NTA

Image credit: fruskydekke | fruskydekke
fruskydekke | fruskydekke

Brother-in-law is a bully and husband should intervene. NTA

Image credit: MaxSpringPuma | MaxSpringPuma
MaxSpringPuma | MaxSpringPuma

Woman refuses to call bully brother-in-law ‘family’ , but defends marrying his brother.

Image credit: TheEmpressIsIn | TheEmpressIsIn
TheEmpressIsIn | TheEmpressIsIn

SIL caused the drama, NTA for not calling BIL ‘family’

Image credit: Trilobyte141 | Trilobyte141
Trilobyte141 | Trilobyte141

Unaddressed bullying by BIL, husband supportive but avoiding confrontation.

Image credit: plantsandribbons | plantsandribbons
plantsandribbons | plantsandribbons

Commenter acknowledges everyone is at fault, suggests therapy.

Image credit: YoonLolina | YoonLolina
YoonLolina | YoonLolina

Stand your ground! Family isn’t just blood

Image credit: your_local_arsonist_ | your_local_arsonist_
your_local_arsonist_ | your_local_arsonist_

NTA. Time doesn’t fix everything. Congrats on keeping it classy

Image credit: CrackersInMyPurse | CrackersInMyPurse
CrackersInMyPurse | CrackersInMyPurse

Commenters discuss options for OP’s relationship with her in-laws.

Image credit: jeffsang | jeffsang
jeffsang | jeffsang

Bullying is not a permanent trait, but empathy can develop

Image credit: phalanxclone | phalanxclone
phalanxclone | phalanxclone

Apology or not, refusing to call bully BIL ‘family’

Image credit: Swedish-Butt-Whistle | Swedish-Butt-Whistle
Swedish-Butt-Whistle | Swedish-Butt-Whistle

Woman refuses to call her bully brother-in-law ‘family’

Image credit: PommeDeSang | PommeDeSang
PommeDeSang | PommeDeSang

Stand your ground and define your own family

Image credit: MissMurderpants | MissMurderpants
MissMurderpants | MissMurderpants

Bullying trauma is no joke, NTA for not forgiving him

Image credit: thornygoth | thornygoth
thornygoth | thornygoth

Standing up to family bullies: NTA and no fixing needed

Image credit: WinnieThePerson | WinnieThePerson
WinnieThePerson | WinnieThePerson

Curious about husband’s feelings, but NTA regardless

Image credit: Dumpster_fff | Dumpster_fff
Dumpster_fff | Dumpster_fff

Bullying scars can last a lifetime, NTA for keeping distance.

Image credit: RunYouCleverDog | RunYouCleverDog
RunYouCleverDog | RunYouCleverDog

Surviving bullying is hard, but marrying your bully’s brother? Epic revenge!

Image credit: jfeld22 | jfeld22
jfeld22 | jfeld22

Victim-blaming won’t make the bully brother-in-law family

Image credit: AskTinaPJ | AskTinaPJ
AskTinaPJ | AskTinaPJ

Commenter defends woman’s choice to not call bully BIL ‘family’

Image credit: SoManyWhippets | SoManyWhippets
SoManyWhippets | SoManyWhippets

Standing up to family bullies is always NTA

Image credit: rtr8384 | rtr8384
rtr8384 | rtr8384

Bully brother-in-law gets what he deserves, not family material

Image credit: JakeysMommy | JakeysMommy
JakeysMommy | JakeysMommy

Woman stands up to bully brother-in-law, internet approves

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Bullying’s trauma lasts a lifetime. NTA for not forgiving.

Image credit: Ok-Explorer8303 | Ok-Explorer8303
Ok-Explorer8303 | Ok-Explorer8303

Bully brother-in-law consistently garbage for 2 decades

Image credit: Smooth_Fee | Smooth_Fee
Smooth_Fee | Smooth_Fee

Commenter supports OP’s decision to not call brother-in-law ‘family’

Image credit: Dc9542 | Dc9542
Dc9542 | Dc9542

Forgiveness is a personal choice. Being cordial is enough

Image credit: HotSalt3 | HotSalt3
HotSalt3 | HotSalt3

Don’t let bullies off the hook, even if they’re family

Image credit: bluerox85 | bluerox85
bluerox85 | bluerox85

Navigating family conflict, boundaries, and expectations.

Image credit: starshine1988 | starshine1988
starshine1988 | starshine1988

Navigating family dynamics when married to a bully’s sibling ‍♀️

Image credit: OneTwoWee000 | OneTwoWee000
OneTwoWee000 | OneTwoWee000

NTA. Empathizing with OP’s bullying experience and supporting her decision.

Image credit: ForensicsAndFandoms | ForensicsAndFandoms
ForensicsAndFandoms | ForensicsAndFandoms

NTA. Family reconciliation requires apology. BIL lacks remorse ‍♀️

Image credit: kreeperface | kreeperface
kreeperface | kreeperface

Commenter hopes bully doctor works in pathology to avoid people.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Choosing not to associate with a bully BIL is NTA

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Commenter calls out bully doctor and supports OP.

Image credit: nynderi | nynderi
nynderi | nynderi

No apologies, no effort, no family. Cordial is enough

Image credit: Badger-of-Horrors | Badger-of-Horrors
Badger-of-Horrors | Badger-of-Horrors

Family drama: NTA, but what about husband’s relationship with brother?

Image credit: gormthesoft | gormthesoft
gormthesoft | gormthesoft

NTA – Brother-in-law bullied her, won’t apologize. In-laws silent.

Image credit: Scribb74 | Scribb74
Scribb74 | Scribb74

NTA. Family drama avoided with a solid relationship foundation.

Image credit: Niith | Niith
Niith | Niith

Demanding apology and amends from bully brother-in-law. NTA

Image credit: poyorick | poyorick
poyorick | poyorick

Demanding an apology before calling him family.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

No apology, no family. NTA stands firm

Image credit: Iseewhatudidthurrrrr | Iseewhatudidthurrrrr
Iseewhatudidthurrrrr | Iseewhatudidthurrrrr

Forgiveness is overrated, bullies rarely change. NTA

Image credit: YunariaLinus | YunariaLinus
YunariaLinus | YunariaLinus

NTA – In-laws need to acknowledge your valid feelings and BIL’s actions.

Image credit: StellaLuna108 | StellaLuna108
StellaLuna108 | StellaLuna108

NTA. SIL’s expectations for relationship with bully BIL are unrealistic.

Image credit: AntiqueBaby | AntiqueBaby
AntiqueBaby | AntiqueBaby

Brother-in-law is still a bully, NTA for not accepting him

Image credit: Renbarre | Renbarre
Renbarre | Renbarre

Bullying survivor stands with OP, NTA!

Image credit: Sparky9367 | Sparky9367
Sparky9367 | Sparky9367

Choosing to be cordial with a bully is not petty

Image credit: Weirdsist | Weirdsist
Weirdsist | Weirdsist

Sibling-in-law drama: NTA refuses to call bully BIL ‘family’

Image credit: SnooPeppers1641 | SnooPeppers1641
SnooPeppers1641 | SnooPeppers1641

Brother-in-law excluded her from family, NTA for not reciprocating.

Image credit: Consistent_Language9 | Consistent_Language9
Consistent_Language9 | Consistent_Language9

Respectful relationship with BIL, entitled to feelings about family status

Image credit: randomperson1993 | randomperson1993
randomperson1993 | randomperson1993

Standing up to family bullies. NTA

Image credit: OtterlyLost | OtterlyLost
OtterlyLost | OtterlyLost

No obligation to play happy families with unapologetic bully

Image credit: wingding456 | wingding456
wingding456 | wingding456

Forgiving past bullying, but drawing the line at hurtful comments

Image credit: olneyvideo | olneyvideo
olneyvideo | olneyvideo

Standing up to family bullies is never easy

Image credit: mouse_attack | mouse_attack
mouse_attack | mouse_attack

NTA stands up to bully brother-in-law, demands apology

Image credit: Im_not_nice81 | Im_not_nice81
Im_not_nice81 | Im_not_nice81

Blood doesn’t make you family, marriage sure as hell doesn’t either

Image credit: ThunderInFlorida | ThunderInFlorida
ThunderInFlorida | ThunderInFlorida

Bullying’s long-term effects are real. NTA for setting boundaries.

Image credit: cutelittlehellbeast | cutelittlehellbeast
cutelittlehellbeast | cutelittlehellbeast

Simple and clear judgement: Not the a**hole!

Image credit: pacalaga | pacalaga
pacalaga | pacalaga

No apology, no family. NTA stands their ground

Image credit: Knittingfairy09113 | Knittingfairy09113
Knittingfairy09113 | Knittingfairy09113

Facing the past can be tough, but it’s necessary #NTA

Image credit: poorladlemonadestand | poorladlemonadestand
poorladlemonadestand | poorladlemonadestand

Polite but distant: Dealing with an unapologetic bully brother-in-law

Image credit: GothPenguin | GothPenguin
GothPenguin | GothPenguin

Commenter is not the a**hole in this situation

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA stands up against family bully, demands apology

Image credit: a_little-lost | a_little-lost
a_little-lost | a_little-lost

BIL bullied her, never apologized. Cordial is best he gets.

Image credit: HoldFastO2 | HoldFastO2
HoldFastO2 | HoldFastO2

NTA stands up to bullying brother-in-law, sets healthy boundaries

Image credit: ImNotBothered80 | ImNotBothered80
ImNotBothered80 | ImNotBothered80

Forgiveness is earned, not demanded. NTA for setting boundaries.

Image credit: DinoDracko | DinoDracko
DinoDracko | DinoDracko

Family ties strained by unapologetic bully brother-in-law. NTA.

Image credit: Book_devourer | Book_devourer
Book_devourer | Book_devourer

Bully brother-in-law? Not family. NTA for cutting ties.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Commenter defends NTA’s decision to not call bully BIL ‘family’

Image credit: adotfree | adotfree
adotfree | adotfree

Validating NTA comment, acknowledging difficulty of situation

Image credit: GiddyGabby | GiddyGabby
GiddyGabby | GiddyGabby

Dealing with a bully brother-in-law, stay cordial?

Image credit: paradox_oxymoron1 | paradox_oxymoron1
paradox_oxymoron1 | paradox_oxymoron1

Medical professional should know better. NTA, demand apology.

Image credit: candles_0904 | candles_0904
candles_0904 | candles_0904

Bully brother-in-law causes family feud, NTA stands her ground

Image credit: UisgeRuithe | UisgeRuithe
UisgeRuithe | UisgeRuithe

Brother-in-law’s bullying backfires, sister-in-law stands her ground. NTA

Image credit: Tugstest | Tugstest
Tugstest | Tugstest

Bullying leaves deep scars, NTA for not calling him family

Image credit: fairygirl255425 | fairygirl255425
fairygirl255425 | fairygirl255425

BIL hasn’t changed, family toxic, move or avoid interactions.

Image credit: AlwaysSomebodyCool | AlwaysSomebodyCool
AlwaysSomebodyCool | AlwaysSomebodyCool

NTA, family should hold bully accountable for his actions.

Image credit: Squinky75 | Squinky75
Squinky75 | Squinky75

Standing up to family bullies: Hard NTA

Image credit: Mind_and_Iron | Mind_and_Iron
Mind_and_Iron | Mind_and_Iron

Forgiveness is possible, but not without reconciliation and effort ✌️

Image credit: SoybeanArson | SoybeanArson
SoybeanArson | SoybeanArson

No apology, no family. NTA stands her ground

Image credit: thepinkprioress | thepinkprioress
thepinkprioress | thepinkprioress
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