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I gave my mother an ultimatum to choose between me and my brother

by Diply Social Team
2 years ago
in Family
Reading Time: 12 mins read
A A
Unsplash | Unsplash

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Moving back home to take care of a sick parent is admirable, but what happens when you are forced to live with an abusive sibling? That’s the dilemma this Reddit user is facing. After months of putting up with their brother’s laziness and disgusting habits, they finally gave their mother an ultimatum. But with their mother struggling to see reason and their mental health deteriorating, is it worth it? Read on to find out the full story and decide who’s the real a**hole in this situation.

Sibling rivalry takes a dark turn when mom needs help.

Image credit: unyiuouy | unyiuouy
unyiuouy | unyiuouy

A tough decision: choosing between siblings for a peaceful household

Image credit: unyiuouy | unyiuouy
unyiuouy | unyiuouy

Brother a constant source of mess and drama at home.

Image credit: unyiuouy | unyiuouy
unyiuouy | unyiuouy

Financially supporting mom while brother acts like a house elf

Image credit: unyiuouy | unyiuouy
unyiuouy | unyiuouy

Sibling rivalry over laundry duty and ironing clothes.

Image credit: unyiuouy | unyiuouy
unyiuouy | unyiuouy

Sibling rivalry reaches boiling point, daughter gives ultimatum to mother.

Image credit: unyiuouy | unyiuouy
unyiuouy | unyiuouy

Choosing between siblings: a heartbreaking ultimatum for a mother

Image credit: unyiuouy | unyiuouy
unyiuouy | unyiuouy

Struggling with a messy sibling? Share your story below

Image credit: unyiuouy | unyiuouy
unyiuouy | unyiuouy

OP overwhelmed by response, moving out and seeking therapy

Image credit: unyiuouy | unyiuouy
unyiuouy | unyiuouy

‍ ‍ ‍ Family drama reaches boiling point

Living with family can be tough, but what happens when it becomes unbearable? This person moved in with their mom to help her out while she was sick but things took a turn for the worse when their brother also moved in. Despite trying to compromise, their brother has made their life miserable and even refused to contribute financially. After reaching breaking point, this person gave their mother an ultimatum: it’s either them or their brother. The situation has caused a rift in the family and the decision is tearing the mother apart. What would you do in this situation? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments below.

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Mother plays favorites with sons, OP should move out ASAP.

Image credit: Hefty_Candidate_4902 | Hefty_Candidate_4902
Hefty_Candidate_4902 | Hefty_Candidate_4902

Encouraging OP to take action and move out

Image credit: Legitimate-Chair6580 | Legitimate-Chair6580
Legitimate-Chair6580 | Legitimate-Chair6580

NTA takes an ultimatum stand, but will mother and brother change?

Image credit: CandylandCanada | CandylandCanada
CandylandCanada | CandylandCanada

Move out and check in often. Leave everything to your brother.

Image credit: indyaj | indyaj
indyaj | indyaj

Choosing between love and duty: a heartbreaking family dilemma.

Image credit: calaakla | calaakla
calaakla | calaakla

Move out for your sanity and hire home health aides

Image credit: exscapegoat | exscapegoat
exscapegoat | exscapegoat

Choosing yourself is the ultimate act of self-love

Image credit: ILoatheCailou | ILoatheCailou
ILoatheCailou | ILoatheCailou

Commenter rightfully defends themselves against baseless accusations

Image credit: VermicelliSlight | VermicelliSlight
VermicelliSlight | VermicelliSlight

Stand your ground and move out. Set clear boundaries.

Image credit: LWDK2 | LWDK2
LWDK2 | LWDK2

Asking for a choice between siblings is reasonable

Image credit: LowStatistician8893 | LowStatistician8893
LowStatistician8893 | LowStatistician8893

When your mom chooses your brother over you…

Image credit: CamelOfHate | CamelOfHate
CamelOfHate | CamelOfHate

Stand your ground, NTA. Family drama can be tough

Image credit: ndcollector | ndcollector
ndcollector | ndcollector

NTA, brother was asked to move in and help ‍♀️

Image credit: firefly232 | firefly232
firefly232 | firefly232

Sibling rivalry and enabling behavior, NTA stands up for themselves

Image credit: lonnielee3 | lonnielee3
lonnielee3 | lonnielee3

Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm

Image credit: peonysunbread | peonysunbread
peonysunbread | peonysunbread

Standing up to family is never easy, but necessary.

Image credit: type1error | type1error
type1error | type1error

Choosing between siblings, NTA chooses self-care

Image credit: He_Who_Is_Right_ | He_Who_Is_Right_
He_Who_Is_Right_ | He_Who_Is_Right_

Taking care of two people is not your responsibility ‍♀️

Image credit: wkendwench | wkendwench
wkendwench | wkendwench

Sibling rivalry at its finest ‍♀️

Image credit: FineCauliflower | FineCauliflower
FineCauliflower | FineCauliflower

Prioritizing mental health is crucial for caretakers, seeking help

Image credit: wildfire973 | wildfire973
wildfire973 | wildfire973

Take charge of your life and move out!

Image credit: v2den | v2den
v2den | v2den

Standing up for yourself is tough, but necessary

Image credit: CuttlefishCaptain | CuttlefishCaptain
CuttlefishCaptain | CuttlefishCaptain

Brother is a waste of space, be diplomatic and move on.

Image credit: PF7O | PF7O
PF7O | PF7O

Take care of yourself first. Help her when you can.

Image credit: TwoCentsPsychologist | TwoCentsPsychologist
TwoCentsPsychologist | TwoCentsPsychologist

Supportive response with a thumbs up emoji.

Image credit: PercyLegion | PercyLegion
PercyLegion | PercyLegion

Standing up for oneself: A fair ultimatum with good intentions.

Image credit: pearlct1 | pearlct1
pearlct1 | pearlct1

Leave the toxic family behind ‍♂️

Image credit: kab200 | kab200
kab200 | kab200

Setting boundaries with family is important. NTA.

Image credit: Heraonolympia123 | Heraonolympia123
Heraonolympia123 | Heraonolympia123

Take care and leave the toxicity behind.

Image credit: meifahs_musungs | meifahs_musungs
meifahs_musungs | meifahs_musungs

Sibling rivalry at its finest, but who’s in the right?

Image credit: Clean_Citron_8278 | Clean_Citron_8278
Clean_Citron_8278 | Clean_Citron_8278

Estranged daughter’s heartfelt support for OP ❤️

Image credit: gorgeouslygarish | gorgeouslygarish
gorgeouslygarish | gorgeouslygarish

Setting boundaries is important for healthy relationships.

Image credit: Temporary_username52 | Temporary_username52
Temporary_username52 | Temporary_username52

Sibling rivalry resolved: NTA stands up against favoritism

Image credit: Gogowhine | Gogowhine
Gogowhine | Gogowhine

Don’t burn yourself for her. NTA

Image credit: spaceyjaycey | spaceyjaycey
spaceyjaycey | spaceyjaycey

Standing up to family scapegoating.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Put your mental health first, move out and seek help ❤️

Image credit: Rocket_scientists | Rocket_scientists
Rocket_scientists | Rocket_scientists

Encouraging reply amidst family tension

Image credit: SinfulPanda | SinfulPanda
SinfulPanda | SinfulPanda

Sibling rivalry resolved with a not-the-a**hole outcome

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Don’t let guilt and emotions control you. Move out. ✨

Image credit: SlinkyMalinky20 | SlinkyMalinky20
SlinkyMalinky20 | SlinkyMalinky20

Take control and put yourself first! You deserve better

Image credit: Remote-Ability-6575 | Remote-Ability-6575
Remote-Ability-6575 | Remote-Ability-6575

Stand your ground and prioritize your mental health

Image credit: VictorianPlatypus | VictorianPlatypus
VictorianPlatypus | VictorianPlatypus

Take control of your life! Set boundaries and stand firm

Image credit: Flat_Contribution707 | Flat_Contribution707
Flat_Contribution707 | Flat_Contribution707

Commenter advises OP to leave toxic family situation. NTA.

Image credit: NonaOrganic | NonaOrganic
NonaOrganic | NonaOrganic

Navigating the complexities of caring for a difficult family member

Image credit: 2amazing_101 | 2amazing_101
2amazing_101 | 2amazing_101

One person’s harrowing experience of caretaking a loved one alone.

Image credit: queenlorraine | queenlorraine
queenlorraine | queenlorraine

NTA. Moving out is an appropriate consequence for her betrayal

Image credit: Maize-Vegetable | Maize-Vegetable
Maize-Vegetable | Maize-Vegetable

Choose yourself first Your mental health matters most.

Image credit: Acrobatic-Initial-40 | Acrobatic-Initial-40
Acrobatic-Initial-40 | Acrobatic-Initial-40

Protect your sanity, move out and make your brother responsible

Image credit: RevolutionarySea15 | RevolutionarySea15
RevolutionarySea15 | RevolutionarySea15

NTA! Tell us more about the ultimatum you gave.

Image credit: Aprilshowerz1993 | Aprilshowerz1993
Aprilshowerz1993 | Aprilshowerz1993

Choose yourself and move on ‍♂️

Image credit: metalasfck | metalasfck
metalasfck | metalasfck

Setting boundaries with a codependent family member.

Image credit: eatthebunnytoo | eatthebunnytoo
eatthebunnytoo | eatthebunnytoo

Dealing with a narcissistic brother and enabling mother.

Image credit: MorgainofAvalon | MorgainofAvalon
MorgainofAvalon | MorgainofAvalon

Commenter warns of potential burden of caring for brother.

Image credit: Xpialidocious | Xpialidocious
Xpialidocious | Xpialidocious

Prioritizing your own well-being is essential. NTA.

Image credit: cheshyre | cheshyre
cheshyre | cheshyre

Pack up and go! You deserve better treatment.

Image credit: Carnalirium | Carnalirium
Carnalirium | Carnalirium

Sibling rivalry or justified ultimatum? NTA holds strong.

Image credit: Vedis-4444 | Vedis-4444
Vedis-4444 | Vedis-4444

Curious for an update on this family ultimatum

Image credit: DutyValuable | DutyValuable
DutyValuable | DutyValuable

Escape the toxicity ‍♂️

Image credit: OurLadyOfCygnets | OurLadyOfCygnets
OurLadyOfCygnets | OurLadyOfCygnets

Commenter thinks OP was justified in giving ultimatum to mother.

Image credit: sapphicsapphires | sapphicsapphires
sapphicsapphires | sapphicsapphires

Stand up for yourself and cut ties if necessary

Image credit: LingonberryPrior6896 | LingonberryPrior6896
LingonberryPrior6896 | LingonberryPrior6896

Prioritizing self-care is crucial for being a good caregiver.
❤️

Image credit: stephiewolf | stephiewolf
stephiewolf | stephiewolf

Move out and give your mother a chance to realize her mistake

Image credit: ThePunchlineIsFunny | ThePunchlineIsFunny
ThePunchlineIsFunny | ThePunchlineIsFunny

Prioritize your mental health. You come first.

Image credit: badgalcre | badgalcre
badgalcre | badgalcre

Here are some helpful resources to deal with elder abuse

Image credit: PamelaOfMosman | PamelaOfMosman
PamelaOfMosman | PamelaOfMosman
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