I gave my mother an ultimatum to choose between me and my brother

Diply Social Team
Unsplash | Unsplash

Moving back home to take care of a sick parent is admirable, but what happens when you are forced to live with an abusive sibling? That's the dilemma this Reddit user is facing. After months of putting up with their brother's laziness and disgusting habits, they finally gave their mother an ultimatum. But with their mother struggling to see reason and their mental health deteriorating, is it worth it? Read on to find out the full story and decide who's the real a**hole in this situation.

Sibling rivalry takes a dark turn when mom needs help. 😠

unyiuouy | unyiuouy

A tough decision: choosing between siblings for a peaceful household

unyiuouy | unyiuouy

Brother a constant source of mess and drama at home. 💩🤦

unyiuouy | unyiuouy

Financially supporting mom while brother acts like a house elf 😩

unyiuouy | unyiuouy

Sibling rivalry over laundry duty and ironing clothes. 😤

unyiuouy | unyiuouy

Sibling rivalry reaches boiling point, daughter gives ultimatum to mother.

unyiuouy | unyiuouy

Choosing between siblings: a heartbreaking ultimatum for a mother 😔

unyiuouy | unyiuouy

Struggling with a messy sibling? Share your story below 🧹

unyiuouy | unyiuouy

OP overwhelmed by response, moving out and seeking therapy 💪

unyiuouy | unyiuouy

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Family drama reaches boiling point 👀

Living with family can be tough, but what happens when it becomes unbearable? This person moved in with their mom to help her out while she was sick but things took a turn for the worse when their brother also moved in. Despite trying to compromise, their brother has made their life miserable and even refused to contribute financially. After reaching breaking point, this person gave their mother an ultimatum: it's either them or their brother. The situation has caused a rift in the family and the decision is tearing the mother apart. What would you do in this situation? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments below.

Mother plays favorites with sons, OP should move out ASAP. 💔

Hefty_Candidate_4902 | Hefty_Candidate_4902

Encouraging OP to take action and move out 🚚

Legitimate-Chair6580 | Legitimate-Chair6580

NTA takes an ultimatum stand, but will mother and brother change? 🤔

CandylandCanada | CandylandCanada

Move out and check in often. Leave everything to your brother. 👌

indyaj | indyaj

Choosing between love and duty: a heartbreaking family dilemma. 💔

calaakla | calaakla

Move out for your sanity and hire home health aides 🛠

exscapegoat | exscapegoat

Choosing yourself is the ultimate act of self-love 💕

ILoatheCailou | ILoatheCailou

Commenter rightfully defends themselves against baseless accusations 🙄

VermicelliSlight | VermicelliSlight

Stand your ground and move out. Set clear boundaries. 🚫🏠


Asking for a choice between siblings is reasonable 🤔

LowStatistician8893 | LowStatistician8893

When your mom chooses your brother over you... 😔

CamelOfHate | CamelOfHate

Stand your ground, NTA. Family drama can be tough 😔

ndcollector | ndcollector

NTA, brother was asked to move in and help 🤷‍♀️

firefly232 | firefly232

Sibling rivalry and enabling behavior, NTA stands up for themselves 🙌

lonnielee3 | lonnielee3

Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm 💥

peonysunbread | peonysunbread

Standing up to family is never easy, but necessary. 🙌

type1error | type1error

Choosing between siblings, NTA chooses self-care 🔥

He_Who_Is_Right_ | He_Who_Is_Right_

Taking care of two people is not your responsibility 🙅‍♀️

wkendwench | wkendwench

Sibling rivalry at its finest 🤦‍♀️

FineCauliflower | FineCauliflower

Prioritizing mental health is crucial for caretakers, seeking help 👍

wildfire973 | wildfire973

Take charge of your life and move out! 🚚

v2den | v2den

Standing up for yourself is tough, but necessary 💪

CuttlefishCaptain | CuttlefishCaptain

Brother is a waste of space, be diplomatic and move on. 🤐


Take care of yourself first. Help her when you can. 🙏

TwoCentsPsychologist | TwoCentsPsychologist

Supportive response with a thumbs up emoji.

PercyLegion | PercyLegion

Standing up for oneself: A fair ultimatum with good intentions. 🤝

pearlct1 | pearlct1

Leave the toxic family behind 🏃‍♂️

kab200 | kab200

Setting boundaries with family is important. 🙌 NTA.

Heraonolympia123 | Heraonolympia123

Take care and leave the toxicity behind. 🙏

meifahs_musungs | meifahs_musungs

Sibling rivalry at its finest, but who's in the right? 🤔

Clean_Citron_8278 | Clean_Citron_8278

Estranged daughter's heartfelt support for OP ❤️

gorgeouslygarish | gorgeouslygarish

Setting boundaries is important for healthy relationships. 🚫🤝

Temporary_username52 | Temporary_username52

Sibling rivalry resolved: NTA stands up against favoritism 👍

Gogowhine | Gogowhine

Don't burn yourself for her. NTA 👍🏼

spaceyjaycey | spaceyjaycey

Standing up to family scapegoating. 🙌🏼👏🏼

[deleted] | [deleted]

Put your mental health first, move out and seek help ❤️

Rocket_scientists | Rocket_scientists

Encouraging reply amidst family tension 🙌🏼

SinfulPanda | SinfulPanda

Sibling rivalry resolved with a not-the-a**hole outcome 😊

[deleted] | [deleted]

Don't let guilt and emotions control you. Move out. ✨

SlinkyMalinky20 | SlinkyMalinky20

Take control and put yourself first! You deserve better 🙌

Remote-Ability-6575 | Remote-Ability-6575

Stand your ground and prioritize your mental health 🙌

VictorianPlatypus | VictorianPlatypus

Take control of your life! Set boundaries and stand firm 💪

Flat_Contribution707 | Flat_Contribution707

Commenter advises OP to leave toxic family situation. NTA.

NonaOrganic | NonaOrganic

Navigating the complexities of caring for a difficult family member 😔

2amazing_101 | 2amazing_101

One person's harrowing experience of caretaking a loved one alone.

queenlorraine | queenlorraine

NTA. Moving out is an appropriate consequence for her betrayal 😤

Maize-Vegetable | Maize-Vegetable

Choose yourself first 💪 Your mental health matters most.

Acrobatic-Initial-40 | Acrobatic-Initial-40

Protect your sanity, move out and make your brother responsible 👊

RevolutionarySea15 | RevolutionarySea15

NTA! Tell us more about the ultimatum you gave.

Aprilshowerz1993 | Aprilshowerz1993

Choose yourself and move on 🚶‍♂️

metalasfck | metalasfck

Setting boundaries with a codependent family member. 🚫

eatthebunnytoo | eatthebunnytoo

Dealing with a narcissistic brother and enabling mother. 💔

MorgainofAvalon | MorgainofAvalon

Commenter warns of potential burden of caring for brother. 💀

Xpialidocious | Xpialidocious

Prioritizing your own well-being is essential. NTA.

cheshyre | cheshyre

Pack up and go! 🏃👜 You deserve better treatment.

Carnalirium | Carnalirium

Sibling rivalry or justified ultimatum? NTA holds strong.

Vedis-4444 | Vedis-4444

Curious for an update on this family ultimatum 🤔

DutyValuable | DutyValuable

Escape the toxicity 🏃‍♂️💨

OurLadyOfCygnets | OurLadyOfCygnets

Commenter thinks OP was justified in giving ultimatum to mother.

sapphicsapphires | sapphicsapphires

Stand up for yourself and cut ties if necessary 💪

LingonberryPrior6896 | LingonberryPrior6896

Prioritizing self-care is crucial for being a good caregiver. ❤️

stephiewolf | stephiewolf

Move out and give your mother a chance to realize her mistake 😔👉👈

ThePunchlineIsFunny | ThePunchlineIsFunny

Prioritize your mental health. You come first. 💪

badgalcre | badgalcre

Here are some helpful resources to deal with elder abuse 📞💻

PamelaOfMosman | PamelaOfMosman

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