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Family Praises Deceased Uncle, But I Can’t Pretend He Was a Good Guy

by Chifundo
2 years ago
in Family, People & Society
Reading Time: 12 mins read
A A
Unsplash | CA Creative

Unsplash | CA Creative

Share on FacebookShare on TwitterPin This Post

At my uncle’s funeral, everyone was singing praises of his selflessness but I knew the truth. He had a habit of making his nieces feel uncomfortable and constantly pursued younger women. I shared my thoughts with the family, but they didn’t take it well.

Was I in the wrong for exposing his true intentions, or was it important to speak up for the women he made uncomfortable? Read my story on AITA.

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Uncomfortable truth: Uncle’s creepy behavior towards nieces exposed

Image credit: automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618
automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618

A finance guy who only surrounds himself with attractive women

Image credit: automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618
automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618

Uncle’s behavior around young women is questionable and uncomfortable.

Image credit: automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618
automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618

Focusing on work achievements at a funeral

Image credit: automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618
automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618

Remembering a controversial figure: family praises deceased uncle

Image credit: automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618
automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618

Party invite leads to unexpected drama

Image credit: automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618
automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618

Reluctantly invited to party by deceased uncle’s naive daughter

Image credit: automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618
automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618

Unwanted uncle crashes party and ruins the vibe ‍♀️

Image credit: automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618
automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618

Uncle offered to help host with interior design, but why?

Image credit: automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618
automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618

Uncle’s true colors revealed in unsettling interaction with female friend.

Image credit: automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618
automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618

Skeptical of deceased uncle’s supposed good deed, calls out motive.

Image credit: automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618
automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618

Calling out the truth about a deceased family member

Image credit: automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618
automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618

Navigating family dynamics and morality, am I the a**hole?

Image credit: automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618
automaticyak3618 | automaticyak3618

Deceased uncle praised for kindness, but was he really good?

In this post, a man shares his experiences with his deceased uncle who had a habit of leering at his younger nieces and only hanging out with much younger, attractive women. The funeral service mainly focused on the uncle’s work accomplishments and his selflessness, but the man couldn’t help but feel like his uncle’s true intentions were being overlooked.

The man shares a story about his uncle helping a 19-year-old friend of his cousin move furniture, but suspects that his uncle used his female friend to make the young woman feel more comfortable about him coming over. When the man brings up his suspicions, he is met with shock and disapproval from the rest of the family.

The man is left wondering if he was in the wrong for speaking out. Read on for comments and reactions to this controversial situation .

Being honest about a deceased family member, even if it’s not pleasant

Image credit: Electric_Tampons | Electric_Tampons
Electric_Tampons | Electric_Tampons

Outing a creepy uncle and the adults who turned a blind eye

Image credit: Skippy2716 | Skippy2716
Skippy2716 | Skippy2716

Acknowledging the truth about a deceased relative and supporting victims. ✊

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Deceased uncle’s true nature questioned, NTA for speaking truth

Image credit: xgozax | xgozax
xgozax | xgozax

Speaking up at a funeral – ESH or necessary closure? ‍♂️

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Commenter criticized for speaking ill of deceased uncle at funeral.

Image credit: jpcats | jpcats
jpcats | jpcats

Did OP have a chance to confront uncle’s behavior?

Image credit: Cent1234 | Cent1234
Cent1234 | Cent1234

Being honest about a deceased relative.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Maternal grandfather was an AH who sexually abused his daughter. NTA.

Image credit: MysticJediLady | MysticJediLady
MysticJediLady | MysticJediLady

Debate on confronting deceased uncle’s true character at funeral.

Image credit: dk3001 | dk3001
dk3001 | dk3001

Sharing your perspective on a deceased relative’s behavior

Image credit: AnonAndHappy | AnonAndHappy
AnonAndHappy | AnonAndHappy

Speaking out against lecherous behavior

Image credit: fluffypinkblonde | fluffypinkblonde
fluffypinkblonde | fluffypinkblonde

Don’t speak ill of the dead, even if they were bad

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Calling out OP’s cowardly behavior with a touch of humor

Image credit: Jack_Russo | Jack_Russo
Jack_Russo | Jack_Russo

Breaking the code of silence on creeps needs support

Image credit: no_no_nora | no_no_nora
no_no_nora | no_no_nora

Is speaking ill of the dead at their funeral ever okay?

Image credit: snorglehorf | snorglehorf
snorglehorf | snorglehorf

Deceased uncle praised, but OP struggles with his true character.

Image credit: pixelunicorns | pixelunicorns
pixelunicorns | pixelunicorns

Standing up against sexual abuse at a young age

Image credit: Plantsandanger | Plantsandanger
Plantsandanger | Plantsandanger

Deceased uncle was a creep, but YTA for speaking at funeral

Image credit: -lufepoh- | -lufepoh-
-lufepoh- | -lufepoh-

Calling out inappropriate behavior towards kids, NTA wins!

Image credit: FirebirdWriter | FirebirdWriter
FirebirdWriter | FirebirdWriter

Speaking out against abuse – important for healing

Image credit: bubblessugarcheeks | bubblessugarcheeks
bubblessugarcheeks | bubblessugarcheeks

Death doesn’t absolve a**hole behavior

Image credit: YeetusDeletus-Feetus | YeetusDeletus-Feetus
YeetusDeletus-Feetus | YeetusDeletus-Feetus

Commenter criticized for speaking ill of deceased uncle at funeral

Image credit: fuck2020intheeye | fuck2020intheeye
fuck2020intheeye | fuck2020intheeye

The ugly truth behind praising the deceased

Image credit: chatondedanger | chatondedanger
chatondedanger | chatondedanger

Speaking ill of the dead? NTA says it’s okay

Image credit: Im_not_nice81 | Im_not_nice81
Im_not_nice81 | Im_not_nice81

Speaking up earlier could’ve avoided this awkward situation

Image credit: Hannnaaj | Hannnaaj
Hannnaaj | Hannnaaj

Accusation of uncle’s behavior causes family tension. YTA.

Image credit: AndrewWaldron | AndrewWaldron
AndrewWaldron | AndrewWaldron

Sometimes honesty is the best policy ‍♂️

Image credit: va_texan | va_texan
va_texan | va_texan

Honesty over loyalty? Family values questioned.

Image credit: chakabuku | chakabuku
chakabuku | chakabuku

Commenter defends their criticism of deceased uncle, no drama ensued.

Image credit: ExitingBear | ExitingBear
ExitingBear | ExitingBear

No pretending necessary, NTA!

Image credit: levraM-niatpaC | levraM-niatpaC
levraM-niatpaC | levraM-niatpaC

Don’t be shotty and expect a good funeral reputation

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

No sympathy for a deceased pervert.

Image credit: TheDukeOf_Donuts | TheDukeOf_Donuts
TheDukeOf_Donuts | TheDukeOf_Donuts

Breaking the stereotype: Attractive women in finance industry.

Image credit: HelloYouSuck | HelloYouSuck
HelloYouSuck | HelloYouSuck

Calling out a deceased predator – NTA

Image credit: vali_riversong | vali_riversong
vali_riversong | vali_riversong

Commenter receives backlash for calling deceased uncle a pig

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Calling out a deceased relative’s manipulations. NTA

Image credit: PasDeTout | PasDeTout
PasDeTout | PasDeTout

Praise for uncle met with harsh truth in comment section

Image credit: Square-Concept | Square-Concept
Square-Concept | Square-Concept

When a controversial person dies, is it wrong to speak the truth?

Image credit: DrPikachu-PhD | DrPikachu-PhD
DrPikachu-PhD | DrPikachu-PhD

Acknowledging the truth about a deceased abuser

Image credit: Qi_ra | Qi_ra
Qi_ra | Qi_ra

You’re not the a**hole!

Image credit: JustAReminder1194 | JustAReminder1194
JustAReminder1194 | JustAReminder1194

Funerals are for the people left behind, not the deceased

Image credit: BiryaniGaming | BiryaniGaming
BiryaniGaming | BiryaniGaming

Standing up against family defenders of creepy uncles

Image credit: _stelmaria | _stelmaria
_stelmaria | _stelmaria

Dealing with a deceased abusive parent, grieving for a lost childhood

Image credit: talkabi | talkabi
talkabi | talkabi

Hypocritical glorification of the dead: outdated or respectful?

Image credit: nebunala4328 | nebunala4328
nebunala4328 | nebunala4328

Why do we pretend bad people were good? #NTA

Image credit: iceyone444 | iceyone444
iceyone444 | iceyone444

Why do we pretend bad people were good just because they died?

Image credit: Jekyll_1886 | Jekyll_1886
Jekyll_1886 | Jekyll_1886

“Death doesn’t erase flaws.”

Image credit: angstywench | angstywench
angstywench | angstywench

Deceased uncle praised by family, but commenter remembers abuse. #NotAGoodGuy

Image credit: ThrowAwayAnyMouse | ThrowAwayAnyMouse
ThrowAwayAnyMouse | ThrowAwayAnyMouse

Validating younger family members brings joy. Spread positivity! ✨

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

A blunt and controversial comment about a deceased uncle.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Calling out family’s hypocritical eulogy at a funeral.

Image credit: cashmerejasmine | cashmerejasmine
cashmerejasmine | cashmerejasmine

Honesty is the best policy, even when it comes to the deceased

Image credit: ---jordan--- | ---jordan---
—jordan— | —jordan—

Honesty is the best policy, even when it comes to the deceased

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Uncle’s dark past exposed: NTA for speaking the truth

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Facing family delusions: honesty over placation

Image credit: BDThrills | BDThrills
BDThrills | BDThrills

Commenter praised for not pretending deceased uncle was good guy

Image credit: SnooMemesjellies7547 | SnooMemesjellies7547
SnooMemesjellies7547 | SnooMemesjellies7547

Funeral not the time to speak ill of the dead

Image credit: Werpoes | Werpoes
Werpoes | Werpoes

Speaking up against a creepy uncle. NTA

Image credit: 2manycandles | 2manycandles
2manycandles | 2manycandles

Speaking ill of the dead? NTA, younger cousins agree

Image credit: ima420r | ima420r
ima420r | ima420r

Standing up against creepy uncles – NTA!

Image credit: muhanX | muhanX
muhanX | muhanX

Honoring the dead: A thoughtful approach

Image credit: Tricorder2 | Tricorder2
Tricorder2 | Tricorder2

Being a rock-star aunt/uncle is the ultimate goal!

Image credit: rednrithmetic | rednrithmetic
rednrithmetic | rednrithmetic
Tags: FamilyPeople & Society

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