There are many women in life who grow up without the stereotypical nuclear family . Sometimes, their moms are there , but their dads aren’t there.
Some women grow up without any fathers in their everyday lives. Some dads skip out on their kids from a young age and it forces women to grow up with no real father figure in their life. However, they find ways to cope.
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Sometimes, you have to just accept it.
“Understanding that it’s not my fault, that’s really important. You deserve happiness. As I am about to have a daughter, I also am pleased to say she will have an extremely present wonderful father,” shared Dusteronly .
Turning it around.
msstark shared that she realized that she isn’t the one who has a loss, but it’s her father who truly must be experiencing the loss in his life. In the end, she knows the other people in her life love her and appreciate her.
Forgiveness.
SavannaHeat shared that she hit rock bottom about her absent father and it took a lot of pain and suffering before she finally forgave him. Eventually, he was able to be in her life, and she forgave him and felt free.
Resentment happens.
“It tore me up to see my friends and their involved dad/father figures together. The hugs, the I love yous, the encouragement, all things I never had with my father. I grew to resent him. These days he is not much better. I don’t resent him any longer; his present absence is no longer effective on me,” said danseckual .
Having a mom who was always there.
littleghool shared that even though her dad wasn’t there, her mom always was. So, in the end, it didn’t really bother her as much. She had a mom who never gave up on her and was always there for her.
Giving others the love that you want.
“I had daddy issues the majority of my late teens and got myself into extremely toxic relationships bc of it. I haven’t completely healed from that but I try my best to give myself the love and affection that I was deprived of and was desperately seeking in other people,” shared Prestigious_Panda811 .
The child is never at fault.
Plastic_Breadfruit68 said that it took a really long time and it was a huge learning experience for her to realize that he’s the adult, and she was the child, and that she couldn’t have done anything to change the things that happened.
Just accepting the void.
“I’ve grown to accept this gaping void in my being, this tender spot in my heart of a wound that never closes. But now I don’t see that void as something so terrifying and I have stopped trying to fill it and I’ve stopped trying to avoid the pain,” said lacroixrhymeswithjoy .
Sometimes, other people can fill a space in your life.
Background_Artist_85 shared that there were many people in her life who replaced the space of her father, such as teachers, friends, grandfathers, and even colleagues. It’s important to find people who can help you.
Just accept they are who they are.
Equivalent-Put-9956 shared it took a while, but she had to accept that her father was not a good person. He was actually a really bad person who left because of himself, and not because of her or her family.
Forgiveness is everything.
“My dad needed mental health support after 9/11 but all my mom did was cheat on him and leave him with young daughters to take care of when he couldn’t even take care of himself. He loved us but was suffering. In retrospect I don’t even know how he got himself out of bed every day,” said ManagementLocal4666 .
Seeing them as someone who has died.
countesspetofi said that they have decided to live their life as though their father has died. They may still be alive, but because he chose to leave her life, he is as dead to her as anyone else could possibly be.
Trying to cope with abandonment issues.
“I do have major abandonment issues and had a deep distrust of men generally sticking around. I sabotaged every relationship I had to reinforce the ‘men always leave’ narrative that I had in my head,” said livefree62 .
Finding silver linings.
Apuljoose said that after learning about who her father really is, she realized she was much better off with him not being in her life. In the end, he was someone who would have made her life much worse had he been around.
Therapy and love from others.
Significant_Door22 said that going to therapy has helped a lot with managing her feelings. Also, finding brightness in relationships with others in her life, like her husband and her friends. Sometimes, these people can help you feel better about things you cannot control.
