Parenting isn’t always rainbows, imaginary unicorns, and play dates.
It can also be really, really hard, like losing the “wild side” of yourself — and really, really hilarious, like kids saying the darndest things .
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From kids’ roasting their parents to a burnt crisp to bedtime gone awry, here are 16 tweets that call out the hilariously brutal parts of parenthood .
The toilet paper roll
We say the same thing when our boyfriend also gets this right. It feels like such a win. All of your months of nagging finally paid off! Will they do it right next time? Probably not, so enjoy this satisfaction when you can.
The car crash
“Parenthood kinda feels like you got hit by a car and as you struggle to get up someone asks you for a snack,” this mom tweeted . And, like a car crash, we can’t help but watch! It’s too relatable.
The roast
Forget Comedy Central. If you want to watch a good roast, just listen to the things kids say. Since they aren’t afraid to speak their minds, they will easily rip you a new one with their harsh, but hilarious, words.
The vacation message
“I asked my 11 yo to help me write my vacation away message, and she suggested ‘I AM ON VACATION SO YOUR EMAIL WILL BE DELETED,'” this mom tweeted . Oh, how we wish we could be like kids and say what we wanna say!
The contact list
Oh, how times have changed! Before kids, your contact list may have had names like “Joe-Hot Abs” or Ex-Do Not Call.” Now that your wild days are over, you’re stuck schmoozing it up with other moms so your kids can have play dates.
The flask
“My daughter told me she packed one of the ‘canteens’ she found in the basement for overnight camp and we don’t own any canteens so I checked her bag just to see what she was talking about and pulled out a flask,” this dad tweeted . “She was almost the edgiest kid in the 10 y/o cabin.”
The deodorant
Seems like teen spirit to us! Did they also attempt some lame internet challenge? Or roll their eyes at everything their parents said? The transformation from adult to teen isn’t complete without the completion of those two things.
The me-time
“I told my kids I’m not coming out of the bathroom until they stop fighting, I’m really looking forward to a long nap and some me time,” this mom wrote. Another mom also suggested this game: the next person to yell has to go take a nap.
The compliment
Yep, kids say the darndest things! Sometimes, these things will make you want to cry. Being a mom is hard. It affects you mentally and physically, starting with the pregnancy weight that has been super hard to lose.
The noise
“Working from home while your kids are home is like trying to read a book at a Metallica concert,” this mom hilariously tweeted . Lots of parents had practice with this during Covid-19 when they were working at home and kids were out of school.
The Karen
These kids are getting a head start on being Karens! Soon enough, the five-year-old is going to ask for the manager to discuss the “no babies” policy. Then, when they can write, they will leave a bad review. Take that!
The elbow licker
“My daughter told me that she won’t be having kids because she feels like she’d end up with one like my son who is trying to lick his elbow right now,” this mom tweeted . I mean, she’s not wrong.
The letdown
“My kid has informed me that her new camp has ponies but no unicorns, she wasn’t upset, she just wanted to make sure that I understood that I had let her down,” this mom tweeted . We’re with the kid on this one!
The promotion
Someone get this little girl a mic and a Friday night spot at a comedy club! She is clearly going places with her hilarious jokes and comedic timing. Kids are the best comics sometimes, especially when they’re not trying.
The nursing home
“I choked on some water earlier and during my coughing fit, my 4yo asked me to be quiet so he could hear the tv,” this mom tweeted . “It’s safe to say I should start saving for a nursing home now.”
