Parents, how far are you willing to go for your kids ? Many parents will say that there’s no limit to what they might do — but in practical terms, there usually are at least a few limits .
A Redditor recently sparked a lively debate after asking if she was in the right or wrong for kicking her pregnant teen daughter out of the house.
It’s a nuanced situation to say the least.
“Am I the [jerk] for making my pregnant daughter move out before the baby is born?”
It sounds harsh, but let’s hear her out.
In short, OP’s 17-year-old daughter is seven weeks pregnant, and doesn’t have a relationship with the baby’s father. OP stresses that the dad really, really doesn’t want this kid.
OP’s daughter is committed to having the baby.
This is going on “against all advice from practically every adult in her life,” wrote OP. The follow-up question OP asked her daughter: how do you intend to raise this kid and balance it with the rest of your life?
OP’s daughter expects OP to take part in childcare.
Her daughter said she plans to work while her mom (OP) stays home and raises the baby.
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The conversation led OP to believe that if her daughter “has this baby in this house, I’m practically going to be its mother.”
OP doesn’t want to raise another kid.
She writes that she retired recently and has a husband who’s retiring soon, and neither one wants to take part in childcare.
“I’m very recently retired and my husband is retiring in exactly 11 months (there’s a countdown) and this is not how I want to spend my retirement years,” OP wrote.
While she plans to help her daughter find housing and a job, she wants no part of raising her daughter’s baby.
So is she in the right?
We should give you a quick primer of possible judgments: either OP is the jerk, she’s not the jerk, everyone’s the jerk, or there are no jerks here. Got it?
Responses were a bit mixed, but Reddit did eventually hand down a judgment.
Just a few people thought OP was being unreasonable.
“Just don’t be offended when [your daughter] doesn’t want you in your grandchild’s life once she finds her footing,” wrote one incredulous commenter. “She’s 17 years old, still a child, and you’re refusing to help her?”
Maybe her daughter’s just being unrealistic.
“What she’s asking for is [not feasible],” wrote another commenter . “She’s going to get a job while pregnant. Okay, how much time will she get for the birth? Who will take care of the baby when she’s at work? Nobody’s needs are being addressed, least of all her soon-to-be child’s.”
The final judgment was no surprise.
The top rated commenter concluded that there were no jerks here, and that’s also where the Reddit jury eventually landed.
“You can be upset she wants to keep the baby but that’s ultimately not your or ‘every other adult in her life’s’ choice to make. I think you’re correct that she is assuming you will be more of a caretaker than you’d like to and maybe isn’t thinking things through,” they wrote . “Perhaps you can help her find some community or government programs that can help you and your future grandchild out.”
What do you think?
Reddit has offered a verdict, but this isn’t Reddit. Do you agree that there are no villains in this story? If there’s a villain, who is it? How might you handle it if you were in OP’s shoes? Be sure to let us know your thoughts in the comments.
