Whoever you are and whoever you’ve partnered up with , there have probably been times where you’ve looked at your partner and noticed that they’re not always the sharpest knife in the drawer .
Conversely, there’s a good chance that your partner sometimes looks at you and thinks the same thing.
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We all mean well in our relationships, but sometimes it’s hard to keep the cluelessness in check.
“Turns out I married a psychopath.”
There can be little doubt that canned cranberry sauce is a favorite for many people , easily beating out anything homemade. But just because you can eat it off a plate with a spoon doesn’t mean you should eat it off a plate with a spoon.
“My husband’s version of ‘the kitchen is clean.'”
The countertops are neat and tidy, so I think the kitchen might actually be clean. Seriously. Just keep focusing on those nice clean countertops and don’t let your eyes wander over to what’s going on in the sink.
“I think I married a sociopath.”
When it comes to communal foodstuffs that people are using every day, things have a way of getting contentious. I’m not saying this is grounds for divorce or anything, but I also can’t say that it isn’t grounds for divorce.
“Husband’s turn to cook…I pop in the kitchen for a moment…he says we are out of breadcrumbs. No problem, I say, you can use crackers as a substitute.”
Sure, maybe he should have crumbled them up. That said, I think this actually looks delicious.
“The way my husband opened the cheese.”
I think everyone has done this at one time or another: struggling to open something up, doing a lousy job of opening it, then finding that there was a better way all along.
“In an attempt to help my husband complete his chores, I’ve made him a list of side quests.”
I applaud the creativity shown here, and have to admit that I’d feel a little more driven to complete my chores if they were presented in this kind of format.
“Making tea for my wife and I in the dark. Grabbed two tea bag’s that I thought were the same. Not sure sure who got which tea. Will report which one of us pooped the bed and who slept through it.”
You’re playing a dangerous game when you start mixing and matching your sedative and laxative teas. I wonder how this one turned out.
“Made my husband the Eddie Murphy Sonic the Hedgehog SNL cake for his birthday. Thrilled with how hilariously awful it turned out.”
Does it look good? No. Does it look appetizing? Also no. But if you close your eyes, it probably tastes just fine.
“My wife just went back to work and thinks I’m an idiot.”
At what point does a list of helpful instructions turn into a passive-aggressive indictment of a partner’s meal prep skills? I don’t know the answer, but I think this is approaching that line.
“Picked up a fancy cake for my husband on our anniversary.”
Husbands forgetting anniversaries is such a tradition at this point that it’s a well-trod TV trope . I suppose getting this passive-aggressive cake isn’t the worst punishment. I mean, a cake’s a cake, right?
“My wife is a psychopath.”
It’s all well and good to take a bite out of things that normally don’t have a bite taken out of them. But you should expect to be judged heavily if this is something that you do.
“My husband. I just…”
![Image credit: reddit | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/97446b6a-2598-4af2-9403-0a882155c15f.webp)
Once again, we have someone taking bites out of the wrong places. Why? Shock value, I suppose. I’m certainly shocked, and more than a little bit disappointed, that this delicious burrito has met such a sad fate.
“My wife scrapes off the cream and only eats the cookie from her Oreo.”
In the before times, there were two types of Oreo: regular and Double Stuf. Now there are about a million varieties, each more baffling than the last . It turns out some people just want the cookie part, nothing more.
“The duality of my wife’s hospitality.”
I think this captures the angel and devil on all of our shoulders. We all want to be warm, open and inviting. At the same time, sometimes you just want the whole world to buzz off.
“Said to my wife ‘Look, a speed camera,’ assuming that I am in a 100 zone. Apparently not.”
There’s nothing like helpfully pointing something out to your partner only to realize later that you missed the entire point of that thing being there.
“My husband likes to play Jenga in the fridge.”
Everyone has done some haphazard stacking in the fridge at one time or another, but this puts things on another level. That said, I’m not sure how else to fit that watermelon in there.
“When you are about to board a luxury cruise ship and you notice your husband has tied a dog poo bag to the handle to identify his bag easily.”
I’m not sure if this is an awesome life hack or a gross life hack. Either way, it’s unique.
“SIL got married, this is the second she realized she got BBQ sauce on her dress. Hubby still golden.”
I love the clarity and professionalism of wedding photos. If anything goes hilariously wrong, you just know you’ll have a high-quality photograph of the exact moment it happened.
Seems like a great idea.
I certainly don’t judge her hubby for not knowing what that is, because I’m still not totally sure what it’s called. What I don’t understand is the notion of finding something unexplainable and feeling compelled to turn it into a cat harness.
“My husband added swiss cheese to the pizza….. considering divorce right now.”
Oven pizzas are a surprisingly versatile dish. You can take a plain cheese or pepperoni ‘za and dress it up however you see fit, adding extra meat or veggies to your heart’s content. Then again, you can also take a perfectly good pizza and ruin it for no reason.
