Being a woman is no walk in the park. With a world full of sexism, pay gaps, pink taxes , gender roles, and never enough pads stocked in bathrooms, there’s a lot to overcome. However, something pretty magical happens when women work together to lift one another up. One way they support each other is by passing down their life lessons to ensure that future generations are prepared to navigate the terrain of womanhood. We’ve compiled 15 lessons from women that channel the true spirit of International Women’s Month and so much more.
1. “A man is not a plan”
When Reddit user, thefirststep999, wrote , “Women over 30 – what’s one thing you now understand about life that you didn’t before?,” the responses flooded in. Women from different walks of life were eager to share advice that they wish they’d learn sooner.
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One woman over 30 replied, simply saying, “A man is not a plan.” Whew, for something so short, that one deserves it’s own hallelujer chorus.
2. Choose gratitude over perfection
This is one for all of the high pressure women that have been conditioned by society to be “perfect” in order to have the “perfect” life (like either of those things even exist). User 5leeplessinvancouver wrote, “You could do everything right, and life might still take a huge [expletive] all over you. A lot of it comes down to dumb luck. Practice gratitude every day, or else it’s very easy to forget how lucky you are.” Mistakes are universal, but gratitude can be few and far in between when it comes to dealing with adversity. That may mean less perfecting and more appreciating.
3. Ignore the haters
While many women have heard this one before, Reddit user, Ivyblueberryhill, homes in on why this lesson is so key. She writes, “Nobody (happy) is judging you or giving a [expletive] about what you do or how you live your life, so do whatever you want, be a good person and don’t even entertain negative thoughts or insecurities. Literally pay it zero mind.” After all, confidence is such a power move.
4. “It’s okay not to have a plan”
Too often, women feel like they have to be married with babies and a nice house by 30, or they’ve failed. However, life plans go far beyond that, and the sky is the limit, even for those still finding their way. User Magical_elf embodies this, writing, “It’s ok not to have a plan. Sometimes I think we spent so much time thinking ‘OK, what’s next?’ that we don’t actually enjoy life while we’re living it.” Living in the moment can be fun and take a lot of anxiety away, as we discover what truly nourishes our minds, bodies and souls.
5. “It’s not rude to say no”
The time for women to be docile, compliant and silent is over—-and it’s just so stale and tired. Life is too short to say yes to things that are unwanted. Reddit user, throwawayfamilyhelpp, certainly seems to agree, saying, “It’s not rude to say no, nobody is entitled to your time and attention.” It’s def time to normalize “no.”
6. You don’t have to get married
Not only is there nothing wrong with waiting to get married, there’s literally nothing wrong with never getting married, too. Being single is deemed as sad, but the saddest thing, is not being true to yourself. User Impressive-Bench9223 spoke her truth on Reddit when she said, “Marriage isn’t for everyone. I always knew I was on the fence about kids, but had a very rosy idea of marriage. Now, I freaking love living alone and I’m really not sure I’d want to compromise that for any but the absolute ideal person (for me).” Marriage or not, the best relationship should be the one you have with yourself.
7. Choose the lifestyle you want for yourself
Thinking about trying a new hobby? Do it. Afraid to start a new job? Try it. Time is ticking as our days go by and if something has been calling your name, it may be time to answer. User SaebraK wrote, “The only person you’ll ever spend 100% of your time with, is you. So do (job/hobbies) what makes you happy. Dress in a way that makes you happy. Do you hair and makeup how you want, for you.”
8. It’s hard to challenge gender roles
While feminism and defying gender roles can be liberating, it’s not easy. The weight of having so much thrown at you can be mentally and physically exhausting. User Delizaz explained, “Choosing non-traditionally female roles/jobs has a mental/physical cost. You won’t fully understand the impact of banging your head against that wall until the damage is done.” She speaks to the often unbelievable obstacles in the way of women that dare to defy gendered expectations. It take true courage to fight like a girl.
9. Social burnout is okay
It’s one thing to text your friends every now and then, but perfectly okay to take a breather when keeping in touch is bit overwhelming. Strong bonds can last the test of not texting for a bit. This principle seems to resonate with user Jenna_Money, who wrote, “I don’t have to maintain all relationships. Good friendships will still be there even if it’s been six months.”
10. Everyone is doing their best
It can be easy to feel frustrated by both ourselves and others when mistakes are made and imperfections are fully visible. However, it’s so vital to remember that, for the most part, people are just doing their best with what they were given in life. User Duck__Holiday explains, “We just all do our best with the information, time, money, energy, and knowledge we have. I used to think that my parents (or basically any adult) had all the answers. Nope, they just wing it, as I do.” Sometimes winging it works much better than overthinking things anyway, plus it can be fun!
11. Don’t obsess over expectation
We often pressure ourselves to fit into a mold, rather than letting ourselves just be. Self-discovery is a beautiful thing, but it can’t be rushed. Sure, it feels good, in theory, to have everything figured out — but it’s harmful to force it. User Intelligent-Ad9127 wrote, “I’m 37. I don’t care about getting a college degree, having kids, buying a home, getting married, being liked by people. Life is OK, and good. Everything will work out how it’s going to work out.”
12. Be independent
It’s true, there is some appeal to the whole 1950s housewife life, but it’s also a good idea to have your own means of survival, just in case. At least, Reddit user, 5leeplessinvancouver, seems to agree, advising other women to:
“Make sure you can take care of yourself before you ever entrust your care to someone else. Don’t pin your survival solely on someone else’s paycheck. Everything changes, including people — you can think you know someone’s heart and soul better than your own, not understanding that 10 years later they’ll be a complete stranger to you.”
13. There’s no secret formula for happiness
It sure would be convenient if there were cheat codes to the perfect happily ever after, but then again, it might be pretty boring too. Instead, it’s important to remember that each decision helps us grow in life, even if it ends up being a difficult lesson. User Rando12fha echoes this, explaining, “There is no one path to happiness. There’s no decisions you can make no right collection of steps that will guarantee a successful and happy life. Which is bleak. But it means there’s no wrong choices either. It’s not a video game where selecting option B means you can never ‘win’ or go back and choose A.”
14. You don’t have to love everything about your partner
Hollywood is really good at selling us unrealistic depictions of love and relationships that suggest that “true love” means never getting annoyed with our partners. This, of course, isn’t true at all. We think user catswithtattoos said it well, when they wrote, “You will not necessarily like every aspect of your partner. You have to decide if you love the parts you do like enough to forgive those you don’t.”
15. Cherish the little things
Sometimes people think that it’s the grandeur things in life that make us the happiest. Yet, for many, it’s actually the small things we do for ourselves throughout the day that make the biggest differences. 1depoopie, wrote,”Eating a nice meal by yourself or drinking coffee can definitely make you feel happier.” Life is too short not to treat yourself to a delicious meal or your favorite cozy beverage.
Let us know what you think in the comments about these words of wisdom from women over 30 and if one or more quotes resonated with you.
