You know how in the movies the guy always seems to catch his girlfriend by surprise when he drops to one knee and presents her with a gorgeous, probably way out of his budget diamond ring? Yeah, that’s not really how life works.
Sure, sometimes it can be a total “oh-my-gosh-I-never-saw-that-coming!” moment, but for the most part couples don’t just get engaged when one person decides it’s time.
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The ring only really comes after both people have decided they’ve reached a point in their relationship where they’re comfortable and eager to take it to the next level.
After all, if someone just springs a ring on their partner without any notice or forewarning, that’s just asking for a rejection. It needs to be the right moment for both of you.
The same thing goes for a partner who waits and waits for a ring, and who becomes absolutely *furious* when they aren’t presented with one.
Again, it’s not just up to one person to decide the relationship is ready to move forward into a marriage. You can’t just expect your partner to read your mind and go out to buy you a ring when you haven’t made it crystal clear that’s exactly what you want from them.
Communication, as always, is key .
But what happens when the person who’s promised they’ll marry you never actually proposes? What do you do then?
For one woman, the waiting game simply became one she had no interest in playing anymore. And after eight long years of waiting for her boyfriend to drop down to one knee and propose, she decided enough was enough.
She was going to take matters into her own hands…by filing a lawsuit against her cold-footed beau.
26-year-old Gertrude Ngoma of Zambia recently decided to sue her boyfriend, Herbert Salaliki, for reconciliation after essentially stringing her along for eight years.
As the news outlet Tuko reported, the wannabe-bride didn’t just conjure this idea of an eventual marriage out of nowhere. In fact, she’s been led to believe that’s where their relationship is heading.
As she told a Zambian court, her 28-year-old boyfriend had actually promised he would marry her one day.
But after nearly a decade, she’s tired of waiting for him to fulfill that promise.
More than that, Gertrude is tired of living at her parents’ home with the child that she and Herbert had together, while he lives by himself in his own home.
In fact, the two have never stayed together in the history of their 8-year relationship.
As Gertrude explained, she doesn’t believe her partner ever actually plans on making her his wife.
“He has never been serious,” she told the court, “that is why I bought him to court because I deserve to know the way forward and our future.”
Not only does she doubt his intentions, but she also doubts Herbert’s loyalty to her and their relationship.
Gertrude told the court that her beloved Herb has not been faithful. In fact, she revealed that he’s been sending text messages to another woman behind her back.
So not only is he refusing to marry her, but she also claims that he’s being disloyal to her, too.
In the East African country of Zambia, a man intending to marry a woman will pay a dowry to her family.
Known as a ” lobola “, this is meant to be a type of fee paid to his bride-to-be’s family to show his appreciation for how well they raised her. Typically the lobola is in monetary form if provided in urban cities, and livestock if the exchange is made in rural areas.
Gertrude insisted that Herbert has already made the dowry payment to her family, but has still not followed through on his promise to marry her.
However, when it came time for Herbert to defend himself before the court, he explained that he still has every intention of marry Gertrude, the mother of his child. But the problem is that he doesn’t have enough money right now to afford a wedding.
He also said that he and Gertrude don’t communicate well because she doesn’t give him “attention” he needs.
However, despite the cases made by both individuals, there wasn’t much the Zambian court could do for the couple, since they aren’t married.
In fact, the only real advice the presiding judge could give to Gertrude and Herbert was to try and reconcile their differences themselves outside of court.
Unfortunately for us, there really hasn’t been any sort of update given on the state of the couple yet.
This all took place earlier this month, so perhaps soon we’ll learn whether Herbert finally proposed to his impatient bride-to-be or if he’s continued to drag his feet.
But until we know for sure, we’re curious to know what you think about this one! Have you ever heard of someone taking their partner to court for not proposing? Was Gertrude acting crazy or has she definitely waited long enough? Let us know!
h/t: Tuko
