Many parents hope to raise their children with specific values and manners, especially when it comes to being around others. From a young age, parents begin to teach their children how to use their “magic words,” how to treat others, and how to act during meal times. Of course, like anything else in life, children receive consequences when they don’t do the “right thing” in their parent’s eyes.
While consequences and punishments can be beneficial to children growing up, there are times when people believe parents can take things a bit too far. For example, one mom is unsure as to whether or not she was too harsh on her daughter for her behavior at the dinner table.
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14-year-old Rosie was having dinner with her family
Reddit user and parent RockyRoad776 shared that Rosie is the 3rd child of four children, the only daughter, and that she has high-functioning Autism. However, being the only daughter with three boys, Rosie has begun to pick up on a lot of her brother’s behaviors—like farting.
Although many people fart, especially young boys for laughs and giggles, Rosie seems to have more of a fixation on it, the Reddit user shared.
One night, the entire family was over for dinner
This mother and her husband said that they reminded their four children about their table manners and the expectations they had for their children, as it was a room filled with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. All table manners applied, such as covering their mouths when they cough or sneeze, saying excuse me when they burp—you know, basic stuff.
Rosie, however, did not seem to remember the rules very well. Immediately at the start of dinner, she began to cause a scene amongst her relatives.
It started with a burp
“Dinner underway, she gulped down a cup of lemonade and then proceeded to belch a few times, which the family turned to gaze at her. I reminded her to say excuse me and hold in her burps,” the mother wrote.
However, it didn’t stop there. Rosie decided to pass gas in front of the rest of the family and laughed about it.
“The entire family looked at her direction with stern gazes, and some jaw drops,” she continued.
Rosie kept on going
On the third time Rosie passed gas, the mother told her to go to her room. She also said that Rosie’s behavior was “disgusting, rude and not ladylike and she needs to excuse herself to do that.”
Rosie apologized, stating that she was just trying to make everyone else laugh. however, the mother was not having it.
The mom reprimanded Rosie
She shared with her daughter that she had “more than enough time to correct herself,” sharing that she burped, farted, and chewed with her mouth open throughout the entire dinner.
“This is unacceptable to be doing this behavior when people are having a meal and I raised her better than this and we will have this conversation later and for now go to her room. She went to her room in tears,” she wrote.
Rosie’s father felt it wasn’t warranted
“After a conversation with my husband who passes gas very casually (thankfully doesn’t do it with company over), he said that I was being too harsh on her and it was just a fart,” the mother shared.
The mom reminded her husband that Rosie also picked up these behaviors from him, as he sets a bad example for her. However, she was unsure if she was being too harsh on her daughter or not.
Some agreed with the mom and her decision
Many Reddit users agreed that farting at the dinner table is absolutely disgusting and that Rosie should learn there is a time and place for everything.
“Basic social etiquette is an important life skill. You gave her multiple corrections and followed up with a conversation explaining where she went wrong,” one person commented.
“It’s common decency if you have to fart, at least try to leave the room if there are other people. No one would be comfortable eating at a table where someone is constantly farting on purpose,” another added.
Others did not like the way the mother spoke to Rosie
Some Reddit users felt the “ladylike” comment was uncalled for.
“Girls should not be held to a higher standard than boys. Using the phrase ‘not polite’ is better,” one person said.
Another person said it isn’t the same for her sons or husband, sharing, “YTA for not punishing the boys but becoming enraged when a girl ’emulates’ them as well as for your misogynistic and anachronistic use of ‘ladylike.'”
And, many said maybe it’s a bigger issue
As the mom shared that her daughter has Autism, one Reddit user said maybe there’s something behind this fixation with farting.
“Social situations like big family dinners can be extra difficult for a neurodivergent person. your daughter might not always remember not to “smack” when she eats or say excuse me every time because there is so much to focus on just to show up for the dinner,” they wrote.
They also added that the farting and burping could be a hyper fixation or even a stim—there may be more to it than the parents realize.
Another person with Autism agreed.
The Reddit user said that those who have Autism are trying to constantly find ways to fit in.
“I think you’re approaching this ineffectively. She’s trying to find a way to fit in. Her best subjects to experiment on are teenage boys as in her brothers so she’s getting that humor,” they wrote.
It seems the jury is split.
While many argue that bodily functions at the dinner table are absolutely disgusting, there are those who feel the mother is setting a bad example. Unless her sons are also held to the exact same standards—and her husband, too—they don’t believe Rosie should be punished so harshly.
In addition, the fact that Rosie has Autism plays a huge part in this situation, and many Reddit users feel as though the parents are not taking her neurological makeup into account.
Where do you stand on this?
