A woman took to the known ‘Am I The A******’ online community on Reddit to ask if she was wrong for deciding not to celebrate her birthday with friends after they tried to reschedule it last minute without her approval.
She was ‘so done’ with her friends
The 26-year-old woman writes in her post that “last month was the last straw” with her friends after they decided to reschedule their plans yet again. But this time the plan was her own birthday.
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She said that she’d known them since college and that she’s the only one in the group with no children.
They seem to reschedule a lot
The woman explained that she works weekends and work nights at a restaurant, which are the times her friends usually make their plans.
They explain to her that “those are the times their babysitters are available,” which means plans are usually made when she’s unavailable.
She’d told her friends that she’s available during daytime only
“I’ve expressed multiple times that it would be great to have daytime events or meet during the week to do things since my schedule is very flexible during the day,” she wrote.
“They always say, ‘Oh we’ll try that for the next time,’ but it never happens.”
Her friends had originally agreed to her plans
Although they had originally agreed on birthday plans during the day to accommodate her work schedule, everything changed a day before the celebration was set to happen.
The woman shared that all of a sudden the group chat “exploded” with her friends wanting to reschedule the celebration to the evening because “Sarah’s babysitter cancelled but can do 7pm instead.”
The woman made her own plans instead
She went on to say, “I was so done at that point” after her friends tried to reschedule her birthday plans at a time she was unavailable for.
Instead, she decided to go out for brunch with her coworkers.
Her friends were upset by this
The woman said that after seeing the photos from her celebration with coworkers on social media, her friends were hurt that she “didn’t even tell them” that the plans were changed.
“They are now calling me petty and that I should understand that finding childcare is hard,” she wrote, “but I’m ovèr being the only one who is expected to accommodate everyone else 100% of the time.”
She finally said, “I think my job counts as an adult responsibility too and I shouldn’t have to miss my own birthday for their babysitter problems.”
Most comments sided with the poster
The majority of commenters under the post sided with the birthday girl, with one person writing, “They can’t reschedule your birthday celebration, and especially they can’t reschedule it for a time when you’re not available.”
The commenter also validated her switch of plans
“As for the complaint that you didn’t tell them your plans had changed, they’re the ones who acted like they could change the plans on you!” the commenter went on.
“You sticking to your original timing, even potentially with a change of activities, isn’t a ‘change.’”
Others pointed out being in different phases of life
Other commenters suggested that it seems she and her friends are in different stages of their lives and that was okay. One person wrote, “Your friends have made it clear that their bond of motherhood is a priority and you aren’t in that club.”
Another said, “Just realize you and your old college friends are not as close as you used to be, and it’s time for you to reach out to people with whom you’ll be able to share all those things you want to do.”
