Marriage isn’t everyone’s endgame, and we wanted to know why. So, we asked people over 40 who’ve stayed single to share their reasons. The responses were Insightful, and a bit bleak, but refreshingly honest, proving that happiness doesn’t always come with a wedding ring — sometimes, it’s solo adventures instead.
“Been there. Done that. No thanks. My kids are adults raising their own families now. I’m 75 now and am content being an able-bodied senior who’s loving life with the rest of my single lady seniors… A spouse is not needed for a happy and full life,” one person shared.
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Sounds like reasonable retirement goals: no spouse, just freedom, friends, and fulfilling volunteer work. Add a glass of iced tea and many more may reconsider marriage.
“Because the right one didn’t date me until I was 53… and that’s okay. We’re married now and happy. I was happy before him too… I did whatever I wanted when I wanted with nobody to get input from. Marriage doesn’t define who we are,” another wrote.
Embed from Getty ImagesSeems like the right time to note that solo decision-making isn’t all bad. Imagine living without ever hearing the words “We need to talk.”
“I know this is unusual, but in my family, I have never seen a positive example of a marriage. No one seemed happy, or they argued or abused. It made me very wary of marriage. If it happens, it happens. But it won’t define me,” a commenter explained.
Embed from Getty ImagesWhen your family gatherings are more Real Housewives than Brady Bunch, skepticism toward marriage makes perfect sense.
“Because we have moved beyond the stage of ‘you need to be married to be complete or of value.’ You are complete and of value regardless of your marital status,” someone penned.
Embed from Getty ImagesIt’s almost as if we’ve realized that a wedding band doesn’t actually increase your self-worth. Shocking!
“Speaking for myself, I never wanted to get married. Even if I LOVE you, I don’t want to see you EVERY day, don’t want to have to talk to you EVERY day,” another person confessed.
Embed from Getty ImagesThere’s something very forward-thinking about admitting you’d rather not be in constant contact with anyone — even if you’re in love. Romance, redefined.
“It is sad society views being single as something wrong. Where is being married the expectation in life? Why… because some people may be content with life and themselves, not needing to share with someone else,” someone questioned.
Embed from Getty ImagesTranslation: some of us are quite happy eating takeout and watching whatever we want without commentary.
“I never found the right one for one thing. I’m also very independent, and I love being able to do what I want to do when I want to do it. I love my alone time. Marriage isn’t for everyone and that’s ok!” said another.
Embed from Getty ImagesIt’s hard to argue with the appeal of complete control over your schedule. No compromises? Tempting.
“Never found my partner. Almost, 3x, but… I’m still looking. For now, I’m good with having friends and family to give me that love and support. A partner is hard to find that’s a compliment to my life. For now, I’ve worked at enjoying my own company and can do trips and such alone. Solo trips!” shared another.
Embed from Getty ImagesSolo travel: because sometimes, the best companion is yourself and a good book.
“Because I fall for emotionally unavailable people. I have major trust issues. Not proud of it, but it’s the truth. Really starting to think a loving relationship may not ever happen for me,” one person admitted.
Embed from Getty ImagesAt least this person knows their own relationship pattern — emotional unavailability is apparently their type.
“I am 55 years young, never married BECAUSE I never met anyone worthy of spending a lifetime with,” one person quipped.
Embed from Getty ImagesTough standards? Yes. Regrets? Absolutely not.
“I didn’t marry till 58. I wanted to get married at about 30, but by that time I was somewhat set in my ways and the good ones weren’t where I was,” someone shared.
Embed from Getty ImagesThe whole “waiting for the right one” thing has a shelf life, but hey, better late than never, right?
“Love this free life. Too much negativity in relationships,” another added.
Embed from Getty ImagesI guess this person figured out that peace and quiet trumps constant bickering over where to go for dinner.
“Not everyone needs a husband and kids to be happy,” one Facebook user remarked.
Embed from Getty ImagesThis person’s joy doesn’t hinge on a ring or diapers. It’s almost like happiness can be achieved without a wedding registry.
“Being single is great! It’s a license to be selfish. No one to tell you what to do, or when or how. You’re not responsible for tiny people. I loved being single and never considered seriously dating until I was in my mid 30s,” someone said.
Embed from Getty ImagesBeing selfish never sounded so reasonable.
“Because watching my friends’ trial and error marriages end in divorce is a sure sign I’m just gonna keep to my own,” another revealed.
Embed from Getty ImagesWhen all your friends’ marriages turn into sitcom-level drama, sometimes staying single seems like the smarter — and quieter — option.
“You don’t get married just because you’re expected to, regardless of age. If the right person hasn’t come into your life, find happiness and contentment with friendships and being on your own,” a commenter added.
Embed from Getty ImagesIt’s almost as if the real fairytale ending is being your own best friend.
