For some, a step-parent can be like a real parent, especially if they end up being adopted by them. For others, a step-parent will never replace their real mom or dad, which is also perfectly okay. Things can get complicated when the relationship between a step-parent and stepchild isn’t living up to expectations.
A teenage Reddit user opened up about how her stepmom wants to replace her real mom, who died years ago. According to the teenager, the woman will never be her mother, and will never be the most important woman in her life. After she told this to her stepmom, both she and the teen’s dad were angry. Now, she’s wondering if she was wrong for saying so, and asked the AITI community for advice .
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Will Never Replace Real Mom
The Kids Lost Their Mother Years Ago
The three siblings lost their mom around eight years ago, and their dad has been with his new wife, Jani, for about six. They’ve been married for four years, and in that time, Jani has been trying to become a mother to the kids, but OP and her siblings do not see Jani as their mother, and never will. OP states that she has a mother whom she’ll always love.
The family goes to group therapy in order to process Jani’s feelings of being unloved, but the siblings argued that they do love Jani, just not as a mother. OP told Jani that she will never be as important as their deceased mom and their grandmothers, which upset both Jani and the father. Now, OP is wondering if she crossed a line in any way.
Commenters Side with OP
OP did nothing wrong; she can’t help but feel the way she does. The stepmom is wrong for wanting to try and force the kids to be her family in ways they don’t want.
Commenters agree that it seems like the therapist isn’t working for OP’s family.
OP Gets Advice On Therapy
OP listened to the advice users gave her about potentially talking to the therapist. It seems like, at least for now, the therapist isn’t helping to make Jani or OP’s family’s situation any better.
Users Even Find Jani’s Behavior Problematic
It seems like Jani is trying to erase OP’s mother, which is pretty awful. The children can have a good relationship with their stepmom without having to replace their mom, or any other family member for that matter.
