Grief can be a challenging feeling to handle, and everyone grieves differently. For a pair of parents, one daughter’s loss felt like enough reason not to celebrate the other’s birthday.
So when a surviving twin celebrated her birthday with friends, her parents were appalled by her ability to acknowledge the day when it was her late sister’s birthday as well.
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The girl explained what happened
In a post, the surviving daughter explained that it’s been almost a year since her twin sister passed away and that losing her was difficult as she was not only a sister but her best friend.
Her parents were not coping well with the death of her sister and they were now arguing more often.
She had no plans of celebrating
Initially, the 17-year-old had not made any plans for celebrating her birthday as her parents didn’t acknowledge it or buy her any presents.
But despite skipping school that day, her friends showed up to her door with balloons and gifts, ready to celebrate her birthday.
Her parents didn’t like this
As friends had come to surprise the girl and celebrate her birthday, she invited them into the basement, where they started enjoying themselves.
However, the mother quickly asked the girl for a word, and she reproached her for celebrating on the day of her late sister’s birth.
The girl argued back
Because they were twins and shared a birthday, the girl felt entitled to celebrate the day as well, and this is what she told her mother in return.
She asked her parents to acknowledge that she was still around instead of ignoring her while they grieved for her sister.
Experts have weighed in on this
Licensed professional Melissa Porrey at VeryWell Health explains that grief has no distinguishable stages but is rather a bumpy road, with some days feeling more difficult than others.
This means that, in truth, grief doesn’t end but rather becomes something we learn to navigate.
It’s important to find support
Although isolation may feel like the answer to many of those grieving, it’s always better to reach out for support and find ways to navigate loss.
For parents, this might be exceptionally difficult as they would also need to provide support for grieving siblings.
Professionals say twin loss is especially hard
Grief coach and author of Your Grief, Your Way, Shelby Forsythia says that losing a twin can be exceptionally difficult as there could be a sense of “missing another half.”
She explained that the activities they used to do together could be unbearable when they had to do them alone.
Special occasions can be exceptionally difficult
Occasions and holidays can be especially hard to navigate as they often center around family and community, and celebrating without the person around can feel strange.
Forsythia explains, “Birthdays are hard because they represent the passage of time, and this is especially heartbreaking for parents grieving a child.”
Parents should still show up for their other children
Although celebrating a birthday can be difficult for grieving parents, they should still show up for their surviving children.
Forsythia suggests that the late child could be remembered in many ways, such as blowing an extra candle or singing “Happy Birthday” twice.
Grief takes time
By celebrating the birthday of their surviving twin, parents could really make a difference in how their child copes with the loss of a sibling.
And the deceased child could remain honored on birthdays and special occasions through family bonding and being there for each other.
