As much as every parent tries to remain neutral and unbiased, they all have a preference as to whether they want a boy or a girl. You can try and argue otherwise, but deep down — you know it to be true .
Recently, Reddit user slothsandmoresloths shared her disappointment after her pregnancy gender reveal showed that she was having a second boy. While many were quick to empathize, it also has the internet divided.
The majority of expecting parents only care that their newborn is happy and healthy.
At least, that’s what they’re supposed to say. It’s wild when you stop and think about it, but hoping to affect the outcome of your child’s sex/gender has become increasingly taboo — especially since the advent of social media.
Instead, proper etiquette dictates that couples should be grateful simply for their ability to conceive in the first place. And that to hope for anything beyond that is not only insensitive but selfish.
That kind of idealism looks good on paper, but it can be difficult to uphold.
Typically speaking, and despite their best efforts — men tend to hope for sons, whereas women have a preference (albeit diminished) for daughters.
There are a ton of historical, pragmatic, and even existential reasons as to why this is, but the emotional aspect is much easier to explain. Simply put, when parents look at their children, they see a fragment of themselves.
In this sense, it’s understandable as to why a man might hope for a son and a woman a daughter.
Reddit user slothsandmoresloths recently sparked debate after admitting her pregnancy gender disappointment.
“It’s been a weird pregnancy for me this second time around,” they said.
“When I first saw the BFP, I was thrilled and super hoping for a daughter. Really really really hoping, and thinking about it, and playing with name ideas, etc. I couldn’t really stop myself. I already have a two year old[sic] son, and wanted now to be daughter time!”
At nine weeks, the mother-to-be decided she couldn’t wait any longer and ordered a SneakPeek test.
The results from the test said the baby was going to be a boy, so mom decided to schedule an appointment with the doctor.
“When the ultrasound tech told me it was a boy at the anatomy scan, I wasn’t surprised in the least. There wasn’t really any disappoinment[sic] felt then because it was as if I already knew (and kinda did.)[sic] I thought about the playroom I want to create for them in the basement, and the brotherly bonding, etc.”
Slowly, the expecting mother became more comfortable with the idea of having two boys.
But when she began fall shopping for her son, the disappointment became too much to ignore:
“I so, so wish I could be shopping for girl clothes,” the mom said. “The beautiful clothes and shoes and bows. The blues and grays and greens I want no parts of… I’m exhausted with the dinosaurs and cars and “tough guy” themes. In the store I was like actually sad, and then I felt bad. I can’t even go down girl toy aisles without it effecting[sic] my mood.”
Now, she doesn’t know whether or not she’ll ever be able to have a daughter.
“I’m unsure if I want to try for a girl with a third baby, given the chance of me having a THIRD boy is over half,” she explained. “This legitimately means I may never have a daughter, and while I love my son with my whole heart and know I will love my second son just as much, I really feel sad for not having a daughter (maybe ever.).”
The majority of Reddit users empathized, explaining that they too once felt the same.
Reddit user itsmefakenamehere said, “I went through (am going through still somewhat) the exact same thing. From worrying about passing down body-issues[sic] to fear for her being bullied or whatnot when she’s older…I definitely felt more comfortable having a boy. I’ll love her just the same, but I still catch myself being envious of others who are having boys from time to time.”
What are your thoughts? Is it wrong for parents to hope their child is a girl opposed to a boy and vice versa? Leave a comment and let us know!
