We all have to pick and choose the battles we want to fight in this life, and sometimes these battles can be extremely weird and asinine affairs.
So, from people who got into fights with the robot uprising to individuals who had to resort to emotional support alligators, here are 29 people who have picked their battles!
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“Select all squares with carbon-based life forms!”
“Who are you calling a robot, robot?”
“Please…just find the motorcycles for God’s sake.”
We can’t be that far from replicants that can pass the Captcha test anyway, right?
“Who’s thirsty?”
I know that a lot of people like to say, “Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it!” But I think you can knock this one before you try it!
Is That Window Seat Taken?
Normally I wouldn’t want to sit next to someone on public transport, but if they’re carrying their own fan then that is a different story!
Oh Dear God…
This was actually the ending shot for the proposed Tarantino remake of Finding Nemo . Sure it’s grim, but you know that the soundtrack would slap .
“On this day, our pest control guy won a mighty battle.”
Wow, this pest control guy sounds like he has seen some things in his time. I can imagine him having cockroach-themed flashbacks soundtracked by Enya in the bath.
“An epic battle of wills is playing out in my parents new neighborhood.”
I feel as though this confrontation would inform the basis of a perfect, heartwarming early-’90s family comedy film, starring Dan Aykroyd or possibly Judge Reinhold.
They Didn’t Screw With Nature!
I actually really like this design, although it might start posing problems if the tree keeps growing out.
That’s One Way of Looking At Things!
They’re taking them to a plant where they can be reassembled into groceries and resold to the public!
“Scotland doesn’t screw around!”
It would be a brave poacher to go onto this land after reading this…or just a very stupid poacher.
A Bold Look!
This person explained, “I have a long-standing battle with my buddy for the most ridiculous photo ID. My wife suggested I wear my mother’s hot pink bathrobe and ‘Gary Busey’ my hair for my new DRIVER’S LICENSE photo, so I did.”
“Someone lost a mental battle in Walmart today.”
I think that they made the right call. Although, their heart and blood sugar levels may disagree with me… Who cares about those nerds though.
That All Checks Out…
Well, you would never forget your vehicle’s registration that’s for sure. Or if you did it would be incredibly embarrassing!
“One year ago, our tree fell down for no apparent reason. It’s still alive.”
I like the idea that this tree just thought, “You know what, screw it, I’m lying down from now on!”
“Our Cub Scouts met a man with an emotional support alligator named Wally.”
We all need emotional support from time to time, and if you get that support from an alligator named Wally then more power to you!
“Plumber from water company came to fit toilet seat after they broke the last one. This was the result:”
This plumber has just set your toilet to hard mode. I hope you are up to the challenge!
“I like to keep my lawns nice.”
Nothing like spending a good day vacuuming the grass! It really spruces the whole garden up! You know who thinks mowing is enough? Quitters.
“Teach your children to say NO.”
Always play both sides, that way you always come out on top! I mean, not really, but who cares.
“I was told I couldn’t smile for the picture on my Drivers License. This is good to go though.”
If the DMV is going to be a stickler for rules — and you know that they are — you can’t blame some folks for complying in the weirdest ways they can think of. And why should the Gary Busey look-alikes have all the fun?
“Sometimes it takes a new tactic to succeed.”
Okay, so the final score might be Wall Hanger 2 — Floor Hanger 1, but this still feels like a victory, right? Even if the ultimate winner is the company that makes wall putty.
“Seamless fix.”
Hey, you can spend countless hours and a minor fortune going through the process of paint matching and having it sprayed down at the shop, or you can slap a placeholder on there and call it day. I know what I’d choose.
“Runs and drives great.”
What’s going to sound better on Craigslist anyway: Four rimless, balding tires for sale, or Truck in need of a few parts? That’s just salesmanship. Or marketing. Either way, you’ve got to respect the hustle!
“This exam proctor center makes sure no one has to store their belongings in locker #13 before their big test.”
It always baffles me that some buildings don’t have thirteenth floors either, to avoid superstition. Who do they really think they’re fooling?
“Wonder how many times it happened.”
It’s true, a sign like that doesn’t just appear for no reason. So, let this be a timely reminder that GPS, while certainly a wonderful invention, is not a replacement for common sense, or, you know, basic observational driving.
“This should be interesting.”
So, uh, how strictly is this rule enforced, I wonder? And what exactly do they consider clothing? Could you get away with, say, a fig leaf or two?
“I think I can wait a few days…”
It really makes you wonder how many people actually go for the more expedited shipping options. Like, hmmm, you can pay rent for the next six months, or you can get your desk two days earlier, tough call.
“Pro-tip – hide your snacks in plain sight. Two weeks so far and nobody else in the household has noticed yet.”
The only problem I see with this setup is how delicate you’d have to be when you actually want to dip into your M&M stash. But hey, at least it’s working!
“My Brother’s wedding photo framed at my Mom’s house.”
I did spend a while wondering why she had intentionally blurred their faces before I realised what was happening here.
“Reverse fade.”
Huh, that’s different — usually when hair loss becomes undeniable, you just shave your whole head. The “reverse fade” is definitely a bold way to embrace it!
“I am the noodle and I speak for the pools.”
Good, good, sometimes with personal flotation devices, you’re not quite as visible as you might hope. This guy isn’t going to be caught unseen, and he’s not going to sink. That’s just smart.
