Some people can pinpoint the exact moment they knew they wanted children. For others, the realization goes in the complete opposite direction — they never wanted kids at all.
In a Facebook thread, folks shared the moments that made them certain. And, if we’ve learned anything from these stories, it’s this: kids aren’t for everyone — and that’s perfectly okay.
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“Since I was a kid, I never liked kids.”
One user shared, “For most of my life, since I was a kid. I never had much of a maternal instinct, except for my cats. They’re my babies.” Luckily, she and her husband were on the same page. Their home remains a peaceful, fur-filled haven rather than a playground of chaos.
“Babies terrified me as a kid.”
Another person summed it up in one sentence: “Like forever? Even when I was a kid, I didn’t like kids. My mother would hold babies and I’d be horrified.”
This deep-seated fear clearly started early — and has persisted.
“I was a terror myself!”
Sometimes, self-awareness is key. “I realized it quite early… when I repeatedly made my parents’ life miserable. Nobody wants a replica of a Gangsta,” one commenter joked. Why inflict that kind of karma on yourself?
“It was more about finding the right man.”
For one woman, the lack of a suitable partner made her decide. “I would love to have kids, but I don’t want them to experience life without a good father. All I’ve experienced is abuse from my ex,” she wrote.
“My mom said I didn’t have to.”
One pivotal moment came from a parent’s assurance: “I was 11 years old when my mom told me I didn’t have to have children when I grew up. Something clicked, and I never wanted them since.”
When permitted to opt-out, she happily embraced that path.
“I knew from age 7.”
Sometimes, it’s clear from the beginning. “I think I was about 7… probably exaggerating, but there was never a time I didn’t know I never wanted children,” one person said. Early clarity can really save you from all those awkward conversations later.
“It’s not just about having a cute kid.”
One respondent didn’t come to the conclusion until her 30s. “I realized at 30 that it’s way more than just having a cute kid with the person you love. Mentally and financially, you need to be prepared.” Talk about a wake-up call.
“Breakups can be tough.”
A heartbreaking breakup cemented one woman’s decision. “After I broke up with an ex who had a daughter, I lost her… I never wanted to feel pain like that ever again.” The emotional toll sealed her choice.
“Some of us never get that feeling.”
One simple yet profound comment read, “The question is, when will I realize I want children? It’s not always a default for some people to wanna have children.”
For some, the desire to be a parent just never kicks in.
“I’m too flawed for this.”
Self-reflection can be a powerful thing. “I realized that I had too many defects of character,” one person bluntly admitted.
Raising tiny humans might not be for those already struggling with their own.
“I was forced to be a mini parent.”
One user shared a rough childhood experience: “When I had to take care of my siblings as a kid, it put me off for life!” Being the unofficial babysitter can quickly squash any future parental ambitions.
“Everyone I know with kids is miserable.”
“I’ve never wanted kids… and everyone I know who has them is utterly miserable and broke,” another person noted. For them, traveling and buying things for themselves sounded far more appealing than diapers and tantrums.
“There are no qualifications for this?”
One person expressed disbelief over the requirements to become a parent — or lack thereof.
“When I realized there were no qualifications for being a parent other than being fertile…” It’s certainly a bit alarming when you think about it.
“Struggling parents sealed it for me.”
Watching others live the parent life convinced one individual to avoid it entirely.
“I saw friends and relatives struggling with their kids. They say they’re happy, but they don’t look it to me. Stress and financial issues made me realize it wasn’t for me.”
The final nail in the coffin…
“It wasn’t that I realized I didn’t want kids. It was more like I never realized I wanted kids.” For some, the absence of desire is just as telling as the presence of it.
In the end, choosing not to have kids can be as significant as deciding to have them.
Whether it’s from childhood experiences, financial concerns, or just knowing yourself too well, it’s a choice that deserves just as much respect.
