Social media users recently shared a moment or two from their lives which opened their eyes to the reality that their family might not be as perfect as they previously assumed. It’s a heartbreaking experience, and sadly one that is all-too common.
The stories come from people who shared them with Buzzfeed, as well as on a Reddit thread.
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A friend noticed before they did
One person shared that they realized something was wrong when they saw a friend’s face after sharing that their mom pulled a knife on them just because they were on the phone past 10 p.m.
Another wrote that they felt lonely when other parents would pay attention to their kids’ needs, while theirs would yell at them for asking to be dropped off at after-school activities.
One person had the epiphany after a seizure
A user shared that waking up in pain after surgery, their parents refused to take them back to the hospital until they had a seizure. They said their parents had never believed them about the seizure in the first place.
Someone wrote that in their family, it was usual for everyone to do some jail time, and they only noticed that was unusual when their wife pointed it out.
Normalized drug abuse is abnormal
A user shared that they only realized doing drugs and smoking with your mom wasn’t right after graduating university and seeing how their husband’s family worked.
Another had been to therapy for years, but only noticed their neglect when their boyfriend’s mother showed care for their food allergies that their own had parents never showed.
A user used to think everyone else lived like them
One person shared that because their dad would appear kind in front of others but would abuse his family at home, they were always under the impression that everyone else’s fathers were the same.
As a child, someone realized their family was different when they would feel dread as the school bus approached their home, as opposed to other kids being excited to be home for the day.
For others, it was a series of events
Someone shared it was a series of events that led them to the realization, one of which involved almost getting hit in front of a guest when coming home 10 minutes past curfew.
A kind family took one user in after being neglected by theirs. That person attributes being an engineer today to the second family’s kindness.
Many had the realization while with friends
It felt strange to hear their friend say “I love you too, bye” to her mom on the phone, because their parents never did that, according to one person.
Similarly, another wrote that it was shocking to see their friend’s mom make her a snack after school, since theirs would never be kind enough to do it — but would always ask for dishes to be washed.
Someone noticed it from the media
While reading the news about a story on neglected children, someone had thought the news was an overreaction since their parents had done the same, but the article comments made them realize it was cruel.
Another person felt sick when their mother refused to believe them about being sexually abused by a relative.
A lack of boundaries was what did it for some
One person shared that their father wouldn’t respect their privacy, opening their mail and refusing closed bedroom doors. They only realized that was wrong well into adulthood.
Another wrote that they were kicked out in the middle of a blizzard at 2 AM for refusing to wash socks in separate loads. The said it was interesting to see how shocked a friend’s dad was by the situation.
One shared a bad piece of advice from a relative
A user’s uncle advised they see a therapist who wanted bring them closer to their family, rather than pushing them away after having been sexually abused by a relative.
Another hadn’t realized it was unusual to be good at dodging furniture, and that parents shouldn’t be throwing chairs at them.
One user realized at age seven
They were asked to pack their things and leave after their father had been furious that his chair was scuffed. The user hadn’t done it, but the father decided to punish them anyway.
The father later said he didn’t actually mean it, but that he did what he did to teach them a lesson.
Many said abandonment was normal for them
One person said their dad once took them to the mountains as a child with the promise of visiting Santa. He left them there alone for hours. They said the same thing happened again on another occasion.
Someone else shared that they were abused by their older brother, but their parents refused to intervene.
A woman shared she only looked into it after her mother’s death
One woman shared that she looked up reasons why her mother may have neglected her after her death. She then recalled times her mom would refuse to let her wash her hands or study at home.
Another’s mother told them to never share that they were abused by a babysitter in fear of what people might think.
Someone noticed it after reading a book
Upon reading a book with a character in a dysfunctional family, this user had a lightbulb moment regarding their own family, noticing that it was unusual to live the way they did.
Someone else wrote they were told not to share their family life with others because “they wouldn’t understand.”
One person saw another family having fun
While at a sleepover, this person saw their friend’s family dancing and laughing together, and was confused by it as they never participated in any family fun.
Another person was told by their father to only talk about mild things to their grandmother because he didn’t like being lectured by her on treating his kids better.
More people reflected on experiences with friends
Like others, this person told their friend it was nice to be at the mall with someone who won’t have a meltdown, and their friend was confused.
Someone else was shocked that their girlfriend’s family liked each other, having thought that this wasn’t a real thing.
These stories can be difficult
The stories shared by people who realized they did not come from families as kind as they deserved can be difficult to read.
But it’s always important and helpful to notice issues, talk about them, and learn to heal from them.
