Sometimes when you have kids, mistakes happen. Kids play too rough and hurt themselves, break things in the house, or sometimes — they put a hole in the wall.
When this happens, parents have different ways to go about punishments. One mom received praise online when she explained how she handled an accident that caused damage to her home.
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Whenever things happen, nine times out of 10 times kids are scared to tell their parents the truth.
For a young kid, breaking things in the house causes a lot of fear and guilt when they are going to go tell their parents they’ve made a boo-boo.
However, some parents know that they way they respond is everything.
While holes in the wall and broken items can be an inconvenience, parents know that yelling sometimes doesn’t solve any of the problems.
One mom blogger who runs the Facebook page, Play at Home Mom, shared the story of when her own daughter put a hole in the wall.
She wrote :
“Our girls were messing around yesterday. One of them happened to put their body through the drywall. My nine-year-old came downstairs crying and frantic saying she had to show me something. I walked upstairs to the damaged wall. The remorse was already displayed all over her body.”
She knew that making her daughter feel worse was not the answer.
She shared a recount of her conversation with her daughter in a Facebook post:
“She didn’t need me to make her feel guilty.
She didn’t need me to shame her.
She didn’t need me to make an already crappy situation worse.
‘I’m sorry!!!’
I know you are.
‘Daddy is going to be so mad!!! I’m not ready to tell him yet.’
That is OK. When you are ready, you will tell him.
She knew. She knew that he was the one most impacted by this. He would be the one taking time from his day to fix this.”
So, this mom went to tell her husband and discussed how to handle the situation.
“The kids put a hole in the wall. A big one. M is really upset about it. She’s working up the courage to come and tell you about it.
We have two choices here.
They decided to respond in a way that would make their daughter feel comfortable coming to them in the future.
“How do you respond?
Today, my daughter walks around with a little more trust. She walks around feeling loved and connected. She walks around knowing that she can tell her parents anything and that she is safe.
This was the best gift I could ever receive this Christmas.
And yes. She still feels sorry. She offered to not receive any Christmas presents this year, all her savings, and her time to help fix it. She didn’t need screaming parents to make her feel this. She did it all on her own.”
The mom even said that her daughter tried to pay her husband to fix the wall.
She offered her Christmas gifts, her money saved, and even wanted to fix the wall with her father to help. Not because she was forced, but because she genuinely wanted to.
Parents on Facebook were praising this mom for being such a good parent.
One parent wrote:
“This made me cry, this is so beautiful! Thank you so much for not ruining this child. My siblings and i growing up did not have this kind of love in the home and the abuse will impact us the rest of our lives negatively. You should be proud to be such AMAZING parents.”
Other parents said that fixing the wall would be a bonding moment.
Another Facebook user wrote:
“I love this. Natural consequences are big in our house. Having to help fix it would be a great idea to show her how much effort dad will have to go through. And it would probably be a nice little bonding moment. Love this!”
And, others said this mom should be proud of teaching her child grace.
“This is an excellent reminder. We aren’t perfect as adults; we all make mistakes. Why should we expect perfection from our little ones? They’re still trying to figure out the world. Every mistake ANYONE makes is an opportunity to extend grace and learn together how we can do better next time. Cultivate an environment of trust, not fear. Grace upon grace,” one Facebook comment said.
What a wonderful lesson in how to make mistakes into lessons of growth.
Sometimes, the yelling does less for a child than understanding does. Bravo, mom and dad!
